Showing posts with label Chris' Hot Dogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chris' Hot Dogs. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

"The Fish and the Bird can fall in Love...at Chris' Hot Dogs









Most of you have figured out that this blog is more than a food review.  In its own twisted way, this blog has chronicled the history of Montgomery for the past five years.  One thing you can be sure of about history is that it will change depending on the lens of hindsight.  For example, during 2013 public opinion on gay marriage reached the tipping point and shifted such that I think it is safe to say that prohibitions against same-sex marriages will be viewed in 10-20 years like the laws prohibiting inter-racial marriage of the 60s are today.  The debate will undoubtedly go on despite the current trend but we completely understand that you--our loyal readers--want to know what this paradigm shift means for Lunch in the Gump.




Behind the scenes, we of the Lunch in the Gump gang have for some time been testing and experimenting with non-traditional menu choices at some of our favorite lunch spots.  Here is what we have learned:


Months ago, on a whim we ordered the hot dog at Hamburger King on Decatur Street.  As experimentation goes, this was a disaster.  The jumbo pink dog could not compete with the greasy scion of burger that gives the little hole in the wall its name.  I, frankly, do not know how you can make a hot dog as greasy as a Hamburger King cheeseburger without splitting it in half and deep frying the poor dog until it nearly detonates.  Our advice, stick with the traditional namesake at Hamburger King.


But one anecdotal example does not establish a trend.  While the hamburger joint does not love the hot dog, we have confirmed that it is possible for the hot dog emporium to love the hamburger and make a home.  Our Exhibit A is Chris’ Famous Hot Dogs on Dexter Ave.  Although this family run icon of Montgomery cuisine is internationally known for its hot dogs, just about every regular customer also pairs a cheeseburger with their dog.  The dog and the burger share the “special Chris’ sauce” and steamed buns.  Both are outstanding when enjoyed in moderation (about once a month or quarter depending on the thickness of the lining of your stomach).  So, for you newbies to the Gump, don’t forget to order a cheeseburger at Chris’ Famous Hot Dogs.  People will not look at you like you just came out of the closet and you will be very pleasantly surprised.


What is the first thing you Montgomerians—except the Cornbread Carp—think of when the word “Martins” is spoken?  That’s right: Yard Bird a/k/a fried chicken.  The Carp, of course, thinks of a hot buttery muffin of Martin’s cornbread.  The bird and the cornbread are so good at Martin’s (also family run) that it is hard to break their grip on your gullet.  But some months ago we ordered roast beef at Martin’s Restaurant at the corner of Carter Hill and Narrow Lane. Was the roast beast as good as the bird?  Well, of course it was not.  The bird beats the beast wings down.  But it was good juicy roast beast and it also comes with the fresh and hot cornbread muffins.  They even serve fish there, I have heard.  However, I have never had the guts to order fish in the bird’s nest that is Martin’s.  Stick with the traditional yard bird at Martins and let Sundown East serve up the “Beast” (the Gump’s largest hamburger steak).



Finding a good fish with the bird is troublesome.  For example, the chicken fingers at the Capitol Oyster Bar should remain anonymous.  I know they are only probably there for the kiddies.  We recommend you leave the tasteless globs of chewy chicken to the crumb snatchers who don't care what they put in their mouths (except vegetables) while you drink your frosty PBR, suck down some fresh oysters and listen to great jazz on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

No doubt you all can think of countless other examples of ordering contrary to the traditional lunch conventional wisdom.  Think of it: Bob’s Salad at Dreamland; a rib eye at Wintzell’s; grilled shrimp at the Irish Bred Pub etc. and etc. 


The point is that the fish and the bird can fall in love, even if they may have a heck of a time finding a home.


 
Chris' Hot Dog on Urbanspoon

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Gump Soup: Cleaning Out the Clipboard File for 2011

Our Dear (and expendable) Leader

Things are a bit hectic this time of year.  Following world events today is like watching a drunk chase a balloon near the edge of a cliff. Alas, we must remain focused on the things we can change. Our role at LITG is to constantly work behind the scenes to ensure the enjoyment of the lunching class in Montgomery. We visit many places you will never see reviewed. Sometimes it is because they do not inspire our creative gravy. Usually it's just because we are too lazy or busy to compose. Although I hear there are several reviews in the works (which is sort of like hearing "the check's in the mail"), I thought that on this rainy/dreary afternoon as our office staff thins out, the phones stop ringing and the e-mails stop pinging (because other folk have already shut it down for the holidays), I would spend my last few non-productive hours before Christmas cleaning out my clipboard and photos for 2011. So here goes....


Yes, the tablecloths remind you of Gateway computer boxes...

Back during the competition for the best hamburger in Alabama contest, which was sponsored by the Alabama Cattleman's Association (a huge conflict of interest), we heard the Stockyard Grill was one of the finalists. A fun Irish joint in Mobile (Callaghans), places we've never heard of in Tuscaloosa and Tuscumbia, and our own Hamburger King were in the running. We had never tried the Stockyard Grill so the GGP's went in. Coincidentally, Channel 12 was filming that day (so we had to remain in disguise). The Stockyard Burger was large and Totted (served with Tater Tots). But as Yogi says: "Nobody goes there anymore because it is too crowded." It was hard to get a seat that day at least. But, we definitely would go back. By the way, Callaghans won the contest.  I highly recommend you visit them when in Mobile.


Stockyard Burger and Totters

We also visited Red's Little Schoolhouse in Grady Alabama. The Carp reported great "Ho-Cakes" and he wasn't trying to be funny nor dis the local females. Unfortunately Red's black cat lives under the stairs so if you are prone to superstition, this might not be the place for you. Interesting photos of all of our Presidents adorn the walls like the old elementary school it used to be. (Obviously, the photos of the early guys are paintings.) I would tell you where it was but I would have to shoot you. Suffice it to say it is WAY outside the Gump and only worth a trip if you are lost in southern Montgomery county and ravenously hungry.


Note the Black cat at Red's.  He's a Georgia Bulldog fan...
At the risk of being accused of trying to be punny, after hearing some interesting radio commercials we tried some "BJs Famous Hot Dogs" on airbase boulevard. You know, the radio spot where "my darling wife makes the slaw." I went in alone to find a very clean and well run family operation. The BJ's were very satisfying except for the buns. I like mine steamy and they toast them. In any event the BJ sauce was homemade and tangy. It's not up to Chris's Hot Dogs standards, but it is worth a try if you are out near Maxwell Country Club and need a quick BJ's.

Cafe Louisa has almost a cult following and fared pretty well in last year's LBCS. We finally gave in to the "Occupy Cloverdale Road" crowd and paid a visit during lunch only to find a listless wait staff serving a plain-Jane chicken salad "sammich" which looked like I had made it myself from a loaf of Colonial wheat and a tub of Public's tarragon chicken salad. No fruit. No garnish. No chips. Just two pieces of bread with some chicken salad listlessly spread in the middle and served on a bare plate. And not cheap. Not a bad sandwich just nothing special. Next time in the Big "O" I would opt again for Tomatino's.


So. That about wraps it up for 2011 and LITG. Our clipboard is now empty and waiting for a new set of reviews in 2012. Again, our mission is service. In 2012 perhaps we will solve the Man-Made Global Warming Debate along with the proper temperature to order Duck. Anyway, we at LITG wish all of you a very merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah (however the hell you spell it) and a better 2012 than you deserve!


By the way, voting for the 2011 LBCS championship is still ongoing. Don't forget to vote!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Clash of the Dives! All City Coney Invades Chris' Hotdog Territory

[Ed. Note 11/26/2013: Gone the way of the DoDo Bird.]

The LITG Gang is a pretty tough crowd. The other day I invited them to join me at the new "All-City Coney Island Eatery" for a review of this "new" eatery (which opened Oct. 26) and the first response I received was: "Where is that greasy spoon?" Well, it is located at the corner of Madison and N. Union in the building here that former "sh*t hole" "Tokyo" was located. Tokyo was not favorably reviewed by this crowd previously. See prior review here. Why the new proprietors list "formerly Tokyo" on their menus is unclear. The interior of the place certainly has not changed much:

Statey's wait for their Coney Island dogs.

I was originally attracted to this place in order to defend the turf of our beloved Gump icon: Chris' Hot dogs. Loyal readers are familiar with our affinity for that good ol' reliable dive by our past posting and our April Fool's Day spoof about its closing. I was fully prepared to rant about this "interloper" who dares to upset the hot dog balance of power in Gump City with an array of Coney Island dogs and burgers. Alas, my two "Coney's" took the wind out of my negative sails. The service was quick, pleasant and the No. 1 special (which includes two Coney's, fries and a drink for about $6) "to go" was actually pretty good.



The No. 1 includes 2 Coneys (shown here without optional kraut)

I would never suggest that the dogs are better than Chris' and I cannot comment on the burgers, wings or breakfast options because I did not try any of them. However, knowing as I do that normal digestive systems do not allow one to lunch at Chris' more than once a month and in light of the demise of Doyle B when a Chris' dog ate through the lining of his immense stomach, I guess I would have to admit that it might be a good thing to have a choice of dogs in downtown. Competition is usually good, isn't it? Maybe? Is this Gump big enough for two excellent hot dog joints (not including the "Hot Dog Guy" on the corner of Tallapoosa and Commerce)?

So, if your stomach still hurts from your last Chris' hot dog but your body yearns for more tube steak, you might give the All-City Coney a try. Let me know what you think and we shall see if we, in the future, go off on the formerly Tokyo sh*t hole. So far so good?

All City Coney Island Eatery on Urbanspoon

Friday, August 27, 2010

Five Will Get You Twelve For Expensive Chain Burger



The above sign is proudly displayed on the wall of Five Guys Burgers and Fries in Eastchase. It says: "Best Bargain" 2001-2007 "Washingtonian Magazine."On Urban Spoon, Five Guys is consistently rated "Best Cheap Eats" in Montgomery. Apparently, eighty percent of the 243 raters of the restaurant liked it. If so many like Five Guys, who are we to complain?  Well, we dare to complain!

This is all so wrong on so many levels. It's a chain, it's outside the bypass and the prices are way over the "Tojo Line." Admittedly, the burgers and fries are good. They are very good. But they are not "cheap" nor a bargain, except in Washington D.C. where everyone eats lunch on someone else's dime and prices are through the roof at any restaurant. Here is what it cost to have a regular bacon cheeseburger and a small order of fries and drink:


$11.74 and shroomless

There are many good burgers in the Gump that, in my opinion, are just as good as Five Guys although I have to say the fries at the Guys are outstanding even if not peanut allergy friendly. (If you have a peanut allergy you should not even go into this place). But speaking strictly of burgers, you have to admit that Hamburger King, Chris' Hotdogs and Bud's are some fine Gump establishments that serve up mean burgers with the first two coming in well below the $10 Tojo Line for a lunch burger. Heck, Dreamland has a pretty decent hamburger.

You can go over the wall to Eastchase for Five Guys but just don't try to tell anyone its a "cheap eats" or "bargain" and expect to maintain your credibility.

EDITORS NOTE: Our medical consultant has advised that peanut oil contains no protein and therefore does not trigger peanut allergies. We do not know if she if full of baloney or not.


Five Guys Burgers and Fries on Urbanspoon

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Election Recap

LITG Endorsement = Kiss of Death
Since apparently the Lunch in the Gump endorsement means certain defeat, we are selling our endorsements for the runoffs and general elections. For a modest sum (like, enough for two Chris' Dogs w/ fries) we will endorse your opponent.

Inquire at bamabing@lunchinthegump.com

Monday, October 5, 2009

Slumped Over in the Gump: LITG co-founder DoyleB succumbs to IBS


Lunch in the Gump mourns the passing of its co-founder Doyle B, who passed away this morning after a courageous two-week battle with indigestion and irritable bowel syndrome, believed to have been brought on by complications from a recent trip to Chris’ Hot Dogs.

Doyle fell ill soon after writing a favorable but poorly-received review of the nearly 100 year-old Dexter Avenue eatery. According to friends and co-workers, he initially brushed off the usual indigestion as “probably just another heart attack” and did not seek immediate medical attention.

"We call it the China Syndrome,” said one gumper, on the condition of anonymity, “once a Chris Dog gets through that first layer of stomach lining, you play hell stopping it.”

Similar incidents have been known to occur after trips to Hamburger King, Mexico Tipico and even late-night Krystal runs, but no member of Lunch in the Gump has ever paid the ultimate price, until now. “I always figured it would be Shadow Pup,” said long-time Gumper Reginald McLucid, “he’ll eat anything, even if it comes out of a dumpster or off the side of the road. I never envisioned Doyle going out this way.”

Tearful gumper Catfish remembers Doyle as “A man who could eat anything.” Catfish went on to say, “That guy could eat sushi, followed by gumbo, after snacking on red-hot pork skins with Tabasco sauce and then chase it all down with three or four Bryant-Denny dogs. I can’t believe he got taken out by a damn Chris Dog.”

Survivors include Doyle’s on-again, off-again common-law wife and some ungrateful kids, not a one of whom looks like Doyle.

Lunch in the Gump co-founder Binion announced that a memorial service will be held Wednesday at the Capitol Inn. “Wednesday is all-you-can-eat fried pork chop day at the CI,” said Binion. “Doyle would have wanted everybody to join him for one last trip down the buffet. Or two trips.”

"It includes dessert," added charter gumper Fat Clemenza.

Doyle was a big fella, so active pallbearers will be Binion, Catfish, Reginald McLucid, Clemenza, He-Who-Has-No-Nickname, Show Dog, The Younger, Mimi Furst (if she shows up), BoDiddly, Shadow Pup, Tojo Yamamoto, Freddie the Rat, Zorro, BB MAK and Elihu Smails, plus volunteers as needed.

Newcomer Bidgood Bob will take over Doyle's LITG responsibilities, effective immediately, or as soon as he gets out of the men's room after his trip to Wintzell's.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Lunch in the Gump: LITG Invades Chris' Hot Dogs


Does this ankle bracelet make me look fat?
(Follow Links Below for Extra Information)

  • Today Lunch in the Gump assaulted Chris' Hot Dogs on historic Dexter Avenue (138 to be exact). The Gumpers had to deal with some digestive issues afterward, so the reviews are late. But no matter. We knew the risks when we planned this, and we went anyway.


  • Tojo Yamamoto was a surprise visitor. Tojo is camera-shy but volunteered to take the rare photo of the LITG Secret Committee shown above. Newly inducted first-timer Mimi Furst was a no-show, but was kind enough to send remembrances of Chris' trips past. Guess she had to go get her nails done or something. She was expelled. Women.

  • Here are some excerpts from the reviews of Chris', Montgomery's 92-year-old grande dame of tradition and indigestion:

  • Binion "Don't let the elegant decor fool you. The food is very tasty but really bad for you. Twice a week is pushing it."
    Elegant decor


  • Two! Not a double or special.

  • Bodiddly "Is the double special or is a special a double?" See menu.
  • Shadow Pup "I went into rigor puptis just smelling the wonderful aroma of the place."

  • Rigor Puptis

  • Catfish "I've never liked Chris' but I enjoyed the company."

  • Mimi Furst, on the eatability of the Chris' burger vs. the Chris' dog "While the fully-loaded dog requires you to unhinge your jaw like a python, the burger can be aptly managed by even the most TMJ-challenged individual."

  • The entire kitchen
    Tojo Yamamoto "So when most excellent waitress ask Tojo what Tojo want on hot dog, Tojo say 'Make Tojo One With Everything. HA!"

  • Most excellent waitress "Like I don't hear that 'make me one with everything' shit from every Zen Master walks through this place the last 40 years."

  • Doyle "What's up with the free onion rings and refills? Somebody must've tipped Theo off we were coming."

  • He That Has No Secret Code Name a/k/a (Hey Bast*rd!) "I never had any stomach problems all day. Go get you some of THAT!"
An observation... the last governor of Alabama pictured on the wall is George Wallace. And it is not a photo from his last term, either.
Judge Wallace
True Crime magazines and half-pints of Mad Dog? Get 'em here.
Final observation... Chris' Hot Dogs is a classic. Lunch in the Gump bestows its highest-ever rating... 5 Rolaids®.
No pain, no gain.


Chris' Hot Dog on Urbanspoon

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Prior Gump Visits

Since the blog is new, perhaps a little history is in order. The Lunch in the Gump gang are all long-time residents of the Gump who for years struggled with the paucity of luncheon eateries in Alabama's Capitol City--affectionately dubbed "The Gump" for reasons not entirely clear to anyone. Lately the number of good places to eat lunch have multiplied. Over the past few years, the Gumps have visited the following:
  1. Hamburger King (Our favorite greasy greasy burger).
  2. Chris' Hotdogs (Our favorite greasy greasy dog/burger and waitress).
  3. The Stockyards (Buffet located somewhere in North Montgomery and great if you like a man calling you "honey").
  4. Dreamland (Great ribs and a fine cheeseburger in The Alley).
  5. Lek's Railroad Thai (Very tasty Thai food and decent sushi).
  6. Down the Street (Good meat and 3 with TV's).
  7. Ruddles Pub (Another good meat and 3 if you dare to go outside the by-pass).
  8. The Farmer's Market (Buffet style down home food. Good breakfast also).
  9. Capitol Inn (Buffet style meat and 3 with good chicken and desert).
  10. Martin's Restaurant (Line up for chicken and cornbread).
  11. The Blue Moon (East Montgomery's version of a meat and three buffet. Not bad).
I am sure I have left many out. Gang members will no doubt add to this list. As you can see, although we are gourmets in many respects, when it comes to lunch we primarily prefer basic down home Southern food in a "meat and three" format. Hopefully, we can provide thorough evaluations of these and other eateries in the future. Perhaps we will branch out. In any event please remember: We can be bought.