The Shadow Pup Muses About Katrina While At Lunde's [CENSORED]

[Editors Note: We apologize for the rant of Shadow Pup and have redacted portions of same per requests from the Montgomery Humane Shelter.]


Bob Dobbs Warning: If you believe that [Redacted] This was posted by the Shadow Pup. We are not responsible for liberal heart attacks caused from reading this....

You know I am famous for my lack of patience. And I do not suffer fools well. While waiting an extraordinarily long time for my chicken salad po'boy at Lunde's Monday I noted all the New Orleans artifacts which adorn the walls there and my mind wandered to all the "Fifth Anniversary of Katrina" media coverage that began this past Sunday and continues in our local paper: "The Mt. Gumpery Advertiser." For me, it was a bad combination of events that lead me to connect my annoyance with [Censored].

Do not get me wrong. I loved going to New Orleans before Katrina, have been back since and would love to go again. It is a unique place with some of the finest restaurants I have ever enjoyed. Lunch at Galatoires is the epitome of lunch anywhere. But let's be honest, [Redacted by Humane Shelter]

Whoops!

The truth is that cities in Mississippi (yes, unlike you Bama fans, I can spell it) [Redacted by Humane Shelter] I didn't think so.

 And, excuse me, but [Redacted by ASCPA]

There is a silver lining to the clouds of Katrina: We in the Gump have Lunde's as a consequence of Katrina. I know some of you think we are shills for Lunde's because you cannot get Etoufee (I'm a dog and cannot spell) like you want it. I say: I told you to order the blackened pork loin you bozo! I am not responsible for other items on the menu....arrrf!

[Redacted by Humane Shelter]

Yours in lunching, Shadow Pup.

Oh, by the way, the chicken salad po' boy turned out okay.

No Confusion at The Olive Room

I must confess. I love the Olive Room. It's not the trendy design, the "mafia room", the confusing bathrooms nor the candlelight that attracts me back again and again. It is the duck. Yes, I said the duck. The quack quack duck. Of course, the martinis are also good but many places in town can make a decent 'tini. They also have a very reasonably priced wine selection. So too other fine restaurants in the Gump. However, very few places in the Gump can serve up a fine duck. The Olive Room consistently serves duck the way I like it: sliced breast medium rare. I do not know where they get their duck, but it is always good--and good for you too. Duck at The Olive Room is a very lean red meat with the consistency of fine steak.

The other night, the chef prepared the "spiced rubbed" duck with a brown sauce that enhanced the meal.

The chef was kind enough to come out and speak with us. He mentioned, I believe, that he had come from Auburn where he worked at the popular Amsterdam Cafe. (If I have that wrong I hope someone will correct me.) About $24 per entree, the meal for four persons, with two $50 bottles of wine and martinis, was $230. Expensive but not unreasonably priced.

Although I would never suggest you visit The Olive Room just to see the architecture, it is funny to watch newbies try to determine which door leads to the M or W bathroom. One hint, if see this in the bathroom you are in the "M" room:

This is where the "M" are supposed to piddle.

They also have a nice jazz combo playing on weekends making The Olive Room one of the most romantic places to eat in the Gump. So if you are looking to impress a client or the little lady, this crusty old Irishman recommends The Olive Room without hesitation.
EDITORS NOTE: A hearty welcome to all attending the military computer thingy conference this week. We hope you enjoy your stay in the Gump!

Five Will Get You Twelve For Expensive Chain Burger

The above sign is proudly displayed on the wall of Five Guys Burgers and Fries in Eastchase. It says: "Best Bargain" 2001-2007 "Washingtonian Magazine."On Urban Spoon, Five Guys is consistently rated "Best Cheap Eats" in Montgomery. Apparently, eighty percent of the 243 raters of the restaurant liked it. If so many like Five Guys, who are we to complain?  Well, we dare to complain!

This is all so wrong on so many levels. It's a chain, it's outside the bypass and the prices are way over the "Tojo Line." Admittedly, the burgers and fries are good. They are very good. But they are not "cheap" nor a bargain, except in Washington D.C. where everyone eats lunch on someone else's dime and prices are through the roof at any restaurant. Here is what it cost to have a regular bacon cheeseburger and a small order of fries and drink:

$11.74 and shroomless

There are many good burgers in the Gump that, in my opinion, are just as good as Five Guys although I have to say the fries at the Guys are outstanding even if not peanut allergy friendly. (If you have a peanut allergy you should not even go into this place). But speaking strictly of burgers, you have to admit that Hamburger King, Chris' Hotdogs and Bud's are some fine Gump establishments that serve up mean burgers with the first two coming in well below the $10 Tojo Line for a lunch burger. Heck, Dreamland has a pretty decent hamburger.

You can go over the wall to Eastchase for Five Guys but just don't try to tell anyone its a "cheap eats" or "bargain" and expect to maintain your credibility.

EDITORS NOTE: Our medical consultant has advised that peanut oil contains no protein and therefore does not trigger peanut allergies. We do not know if she if full of baloney or not.

Wintzells: Does “No Good” Oysters mean “No Good” Service?

The "Salad"





Concerned about the recent publicity over the seafood situation in The Gump://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=20108110348, I decided I would head for lunch at the Seafood Mecca of Downtown, Wintzell’s Oyster House, http://www.wintzellsoysterhouse.com/ to put my finger on the pulse as to the “real skinny” on things. I had heard the seafood situation was so difficult, Wintzell’s was changing its menu to include items like, conecuh smoked sausage sandwiches, ribs and other meat entrees. All the while, I’m scratching my head thinking, why would I go to a seafood place to eat meat? That’s almost as crazy (showing my sensitive side, notice I didn’t use the R-word like Jenifer Aniston did recently) as going to Dreamland and asking for seafood.

















"A'int no seafood here nowhere."

Say it ain’t so Joe (which by the way, I saw Chef Joe DiMaggio back in town checking on his prize Saza’s)! Anyway, another reason for going to Wintzells is because I can see one of my favorite barmaids from Ruddles http://lunchinthegump.blogspot.com/2010/08/all-you-need-is-lunchthe-rutles-would.html as she sometimes moonlights behind the bar at lunch on Thursday and Friday. As I walked in, sure enough, in plain daylight, the oysters looked like they weren’t “no good”.

















Did I smell oysters?

But, hey, that didn’t stop me because down from the oysters was the smiling face I’m used to seeing. I promptly sat down and asked, “What’s the scoop”? Little did I know the shock I was about to receive. “Today’s my last day”, my favorite barmaid said. Yep, times being what they are and not being able to get the hours she needed, Wintzell’s now has two less reasons for me to go back again. No “good oysters” and “no good service” are two strikes against any seafood restaurant. As I picked my chin up from the floor, my friend said, “but hey, they changed the menu up”. I told her I had heard about the menu change and wasn’t the least bit interested in getting Dreamland at Wintzells and vice versa. Being the best barmaid-waitress that she is, even as the door was about to hit her back side this afternoon, she told me of a pearl to be found in the bed of oyster shells---A mahi mahi (that’s 2 mahi’s so you best be hungry), shrimp cobb salad. She promised, “You’ll love it”. Always believing her, I ordered it and you know what, she was right , the salad was really-really good.





















Tracy the ex-Wintzell's waitress




So I finished polishing off a great salad and ending a conversation with my favorite server. While it won’t be the same without the “good help”, I made a new friend with the salad.

Dreamland revisited: The mystique of Bob’s Salad

Alhough the LITG faithful might wish to poo-poo our lunch location selection today since we went to a chain restaurant (gasp!), the TRUE faithful will know (1) that a review of Dreamland has been posted on this blog previously (http://lunchinthegump.blogspot.com/2009/07/dreamland-bar-b-que.html) and (2) that we don’t really give a damn what you think about our lunchtime choices (I would include a parenthetical hyperlink to support this statement but there are too many too include, so take your pick).

But this was no aimless lunchtime gathering; we were on a mission. Fat Clemenza, Shadow Pup, and I had heard rumor of an off-menu item called “Bob’s Salad” and decided to investigate. There is a shroud of mystery around Bob’s Salad, but we knew at least enough to know that (1) other people had ordered it more than 24 hours prior and had not died; (2) the salad has chicken on it -- the pulled variety (I had to assure Shadow Pup that the chickens were humanely “put down” before any "pulling" commences); and (3) the salad can be ordered “hot” – with jalapenos – or “mild” – without jalapenos.

We coolly entered the establishment and took our seats near the back. As always, the place was hopping and the ribs were smoking. We scoffed when the menus were brought to us. As if! Mustering up the confidence of someone who orders exactly what she pleases, on the menu or not, I told the waitress that I would be ordering a Bob’s Salad. With bated breath, I waited. Did I need to have a password to successfully complete my order? Was she going to ask to see my Bob’s Club membership card? Would she start quizzing me about this mysterious “Bob” fellow (whose last name may or may not be “Salad”) to see if I really knew who he was and whether I was really entitled to eat his salad? (By the way, if “eating one’s salad” is some sort of vulgar metaphor, my inclusion of it here is completely unattended.)

But nothing happened. Well, I mean, something happened. I mean, the waitress wrote down my order and moved on to Shadow Pup. What I'm saying is, nothing unusual happened. There were no requests for secret passwords, handshakes, or ID cards. Bob did not appear and denounce having any relationship with me, at least not one that would rise to the level where I could eat his salad. (Gosh, that’s really starting to sound bad, isn’t it? My sincerest apologies to Bob…and his family.) We moved right along, and the waitress simply turned to Shadow Pup and asked what he would be having in his bowl. He barked twice. Since he is a regular at Dreamland, she was able to interpret his dog-speak and figure out that he wanted the “hot” version of the salad. Fat Clemenza got on the bandwagon and ordered a hot one too.

After several minutes of conversation, we had ourselves a table full of salad:

Kickin’ it healthy style at Dreamland!

So, it turns out that Bob’s Salad is basically just a healthy version of the pulled chicken salad. We got lettuce, grilled tomatoes, pickles, jalapenos (optional), pulled chicken, and – my favorite touch – pineapple. The only dressing was a bit of olive oil. There may have been more ingredients but I can’t recall them right now.

We dove into our bowls. Shadow Pup was particularly ferocious whilst eating. Either he was especially hungry, or he was happy that he was (for once) not the only one eating his food out of a bowl. We ate…and ate…and ate. There was a lot of food in that bowl! I finally gave up. The thing about having a salad as the sum and total of one’s meal is that, well, it just gets boring after a while. You can’t move around your plate, taking bites of different items as you go. There’s no variety for the palate. Sure, your forkfuls can vary as to chicken/lettuce/veg/fruit ratio, but, all in all, there’s not much difference in what you get. So, some perhaps satisfied more than others, we finished our meals:

Shadow Pup likes to pretend he knows how to use a fork sometimes.

Bob only charges $8.95 to eat his salad (seriously, I hope this man doesn’t have kids who are reading this), so we managed to stay under the Tojo line. Normally I don’t care too much for salad but this one is worth a try. It is a unique meal with some interesting flavors, and it’s certainly more healthy than most anything else on Dreamland’s menu (if you’re into that sort of thing). I must say, though, the mystique of ordering an off-menu item is part of the allure. All in all, I give it 3 out of 5 ribs.

Ala-Thai Classic: Lard Sha Na Na

[Ed. Note: Normally the LITG gang would not have selected the Carp to rate any restaurant that never serves cornbread.  But, as you will see below, due to the head injury to Tojo, we made an exception. Please forgive us.]

I was honored to be invited by the gang to write the first real review of one of the Ala-Thai restaurants in the Gump: Ala-Thai Classic on Ann Street. As the Show Dog pointed out, the owners of this family Thai restaurant did not screw up like Coca-Cola by changing the formula and issuing a “New Coke” and then having to bring back “Coke Classic.” They opened two different places at the same time after establishing the brand in a very dingy place on Coliseum Boulevard (which I think is now closed). They operate Ala-Thai East a/k/a West Shorter on the Atlanta Highway and Ala-Thai “Classic” on Ann Street.

We, of course, would never drive past a Classic Gump establishment to visit a place with similar food in the East where the rich folk dwell so today, Tojo, Cheers and Show Dog met for our regular Monday lunch at the Midtown Plaza Development (managed by our own Gump developers McClinton & Company) and located Ala-Thai by moving toward the big phallic symbol in the SE corner of the center.

Coincidentally, the menu listed a lot of priks: There was “Prik Pao Noodles”, “Prik Khing”, “Pad Prik,“, “Lard Prik” and that well-known prik: Mao Prik (actually it was Pad Khee Mao). They even had “Crazy Noodles” as if noodles themselves were not wild enough. Nothing really wets the old appetite like a big plate of Lard Prik or Crazy Noodles does it? Actually, Pla Lard Prik is a classic Thai fish dish with spicy garlic, lemongrass and sweet chili sauce. And the noodles were not crazy at all. At other places they are called “Drunkards’ Noodles” which are made from delicious wide rice noodles, chicken, tofu, chopped garlic, red sweet peppers, red onions, cabbage, eggs, white pepper, fresh lime juice, bean sprouts, white vinegar, date palm sugar and “prik phom” which are ground red chilies. It was pretty mild until I spiced it up with the sweet red pepper sauce supplied on the table for a very different and memorable lunch treat not too gassy or burp inducing. And “Lard Na” has nothing to do with that stuff we fat-assesses use to cook in the South, but is actually rice noodles with broccoli covered in a house gravy and a very tasty gravy at that. If you are timid, you can always just order the dish that sounds the best to you. Cheers suggested the “Tom Yum.” (which is a hot and sour soup with plenty of meat) for one new to the menu.

Lard Sha Na Na

One note: Inside we found a clean and neat place with a vaulted ceiling and some Thai-themed constructions, some of which were hazardous to our tallest member. Poor Tojo collided with one of the Thai roof shingle thingies hanging down like a sharp icicle. Although his bald dome was marred as he was in line to pay and we heard him mutter: “Oooch” [Tojo’s attempt to say ‘Ouch’], Tojo’s acting—usually overdone as you would expect from a former professional wrestler--was not sufficient to earn a free lunch. Actually, the lunch was so good Tojo was happy to pay despite the scob on the noggin. So despite the ‘interesting’ names for the dishes and the hazardous cashier-area construction, Ala-Thai was four for four in satisfaction from the LITG gang and at $8.75 per lunch WITH their fresh and soft spring rolls (not fried) with what tastes like sushi and cream cheese inside (delightful and easy to eat with the chopsticks) it was a pretty reasonable deal well below the Tojo-line. But please forgive me if I cannot resist giving Ala-Thai the following high rating based upon the votes of those LITG members in attendance.....yes, you guessed it....... Four Priks, no, this is funnier.....Four Puds.

Oooch!

NP Bistro Lights Up Z-Red

A gaggle of gumpsters with very little notice visited the burgeoning Zelda Road Entertainment District (Z-RED) and its newest entry, the reconstituted Nancy Paterson’s Bistro. After leaving the friendly confines of C-RED under a full moon, Nancy, Burns and crew have opened a stylish café in the old Klein & Son Jewelry location in Zelda Place. Tales of long waits and slow service—and no Pine Bar in sight--made the boys a little nervous, but that was certainly not the case as a table for five was immediately available at high noon.
Impressed with the classy décor, Shadow Pup jumped into his chair, quickly realizing that his were the only hindquarters that would fit comfortably. The first thing Tojo noticed was the complimentary sauna, leaving Tojo with three pounds to give going into the appetizer. It turns out that the air conditioning was only temporarily on the fritz, and Tojo’s body temp was restored to its normal 108º by the time his gazpacho arrived.




Shrimp and Pasta (notice the cutlery is not plastic)

The bread was well received and the orders taken promptly. Shadow Pup opted for the Reuben, which was deemed both large and tasty, and led to much tail-wagging. He was, alas, the only one to even sniff the Tojo line. Others used TARP funds to finance a massive Oriental Chicken Salad and an oil-free Summer Shrimp Pasta dish. There was also a salad with tuna that was replete with distinctive French cutlery, reminding Tojo of an item he once saw in the Yokohama Tattler advertising French rifles. Tojo say “French rifles good deal. Never fired, dropped once”. Other menu items--some old favorites and some good-looking new entries—promised a return visit. As loans were closed and checks settled, all were happy. Good food and good service--the recipe for success with this group--garnered Nancy three moons. With Nancy’s Bistro joining its sister eatery, Sal’s Pizzeria, along with Moe’s, Michael’s Table and the restaurant-to-be-opened-later, Zoe’s, Zelda Place is definitely becoming a happening lunch/dinner destination. Now when you throw in Kraze Yogurt — a very cool new ice cream with toppings spot — the Aronovs might be orchestrating the most harmonious lunchtime playground in the Gump.



Oriental Chicken Salad (yes that is feta cheese) Tojo like.


--NoGritsNoGlory

“All You Need is Lunch”—The Rutles Would Have Liked Ruddles Pub & Grill

“Never go outside the Gump” we have said over and over. But we, the LITG gang, never learn from our prior mistakes and thus are destined to re-live the past—sort of like the Pre-Fab Four super group—The Rutles—made all the mistakes those copycats—The Beatles—repeated. This time, however, perhaps we have found at least one reason to visit the far east. I mean one more than lunching with Tojo. So on Monday we took a “Tragical History Tour” outside the by-pass and spent two hours away from our businesses in the Gump partaking of lunch in West Shorter’s Ruddles (not to be confused with “The Rutles”) Pub & Grill which is neither pub nor grill but is certainly a fine place to have lunch if you eat and work outside the friendly confines of the Gump. Getting there from the Gump is not easy however. As we approached the East Blvd exit on the eastern boundary of the Gump, although driving in an armored “Titan”, we began to feel anxious about going over the wall. Will they accept our money? Are the speed signs there in kilometers? Can you drink the water? Questions like that flood in when you start seeing signs turn from this:

To this:

(“Ouch.” Tojo said this one means “Never ride over head of a fallen bicycle rider.” I guess that is a problem in the far east.)

One also has to have a visa and know a code to enter Ruddles from the little known back entrance to Bell Road. Indeed, they guard “West Shorter” neighborhoods better than Obama defends the Mexican border as Bo-Diddly (who actually lives over the wall) demonstrates below:

(Don’t tell anyone, but the code is: “Riff Raff”)

Once we finally arrived and walked through the pizza oven that was the parking lot on a 100 degree day, we were pleasantly surprised to find the place nicely decorated with dark oak and Corinthian leather which thankfully only created the fleeting impression of an English Pub. I, being Irish of course, do not like anything English and was pleased to note the presence of some things (a “Schlitz” lamp) and an absence of others (no dartboard or “Sgt. Rutter’s Only Darts Club Band”) that quickly dispelled any pretense of having an English pub atmosphere. The only real problem in that is that they do not have any Guinness on tap. (They have it in a can if you choose to stoop that low).

Penny Lane, our perky waitress, quickly noted the presence of Bo-Diddly as a regular Ruddles cigar smoker and scotch drinker (after five of course) and announced “I am the Waitress” with the kind of fake English accent made famous by “The Rutles.” She noted that on Monday they offer the Chicken Supreme (just like the old Sahara would have made it) and two veggies for under $7. That is exactly what I ordered. It took a little longer than normal but when it arrived, the main course was excellent and the green beans tasted fresh. But the house salad was a little wilty and the cornbread too sweet and cakey. If you do not like olives on your salad you ought to skip the salad and get two more veggies. And, as the Carp pointed out: no real butter for the cornbread. A couple of demerits there. (Or as Tojo said: “Two Stomach Claws”).

By and large, however, the entire group enjoyed their lunches and thought the prices were very reasonable. I hear that one Monday a month they serve “killer” baby back ribs from their “grill” located somewhere behind the “Samuel Adams” wall. If you can determine which Monday that is, it may be a good reason to venture out to Bell Road.  I also noted the average age was over 70 this lunch time which is an indication of either an appeal to experienced taste buds or to value on a fixed income. And if you need a spare “walker” I am sure they can provide you one at Ruddles—not to be confused with "The Rutles" who would all be about 70 by now and probably hate listening to their own music. So, if you have two hours for lunch—portal to portal from downtown Gump—Ruddles Pub and Grill is a good choice: They take Gump money, they speak English, and you can drink the water. "The Rutles" would have liked it!

We recommend Ruddles whether it is a real Pub or not.

By the way, I have learned of a new radio station called 104.9 “The Gump.” It plays “alternative rock” so we see no danger of trademark infringement at this time. Due to the average age of the clientèle we saw today, they will not be playing that station at Ruddles anytime soon.

"Goo-goo tha lube..goo-goo-tha-lube"--from "I am the Waitress" by The Rutles.