[Ed note: 2/21/13: Olive Room is no more.]
My friend and surgeon about dropped his forceps into the operative field when the nurse told him The Olive Room was now open for lunch during the week. After gaining his composure (and retrieving the instrument) I heard him through the drug induced haze say "My God woman get someone over there Stat and get me whatever is the first entree on the menu! Chop chop!"
That was the last thing I remember....I dreamt of Olive Room duck breasts on the wing. They were in a formation that resembled a giant fork. On the ground was an army of giblets firing salvos of chutney which exploded into flack clouds of dark gravy winging some of the breasts and sending them tumbling to plates of homemade mashed potatoes covering the ground. They kept coming in waves, waves of duck breasts....delicious Olive Room duck breasts on the wing....
I awoke in the recovery room, sans reproductive capabilities, and smelled something gloriously meaty and good. I noticed my doctor buddy eating something with his back to me in the corner of the room while he toyed with his stock portfolio on his iPad. I was hungry despite the anesthetic. "What is it?" I mumbled causing him to turn, his face covered with a cheesy sheen. I noticed globules of yellow American cheese splattered all over his green scrubs. He swallowed hard and said with a silly grin, "Why it's a Juicy Lucy."
A juicy what? I knew my doctor friend had a weakness for nurses on the side but had he now fallen to consorting with common street whores? How disgust...ing, er...wait, is he talking about something he was eating right then and there?
That was the last thing I remember....I dreamt of Olive Room duck breasts on the wing. They were in a formation that resembled a giant fork. On the ground was an army of giblets firing salvos of chutney which exploded into flack clouds of dark gravy winging some of the breasts and sending them tumbling to plates of homemade mashed potatoes covering the ground. They kept coming in waves, waves of duck breasts....delicious Olive Room duck breasts on the wing....
I awoke in the recovery room, sans reproductive capabilities, and smelled something gloriously meaty and good. I noticed my doctor buddy eating something with his back to me in the corner of the room while he toyed with his stock portfolio on his iPad. I was hungry despite the anesthetic. "What is it?" I mumbled causing him to turn, his face covered with a cheesy sheen. I noticed globules of yellow American cheese splattered all over his green scrubs. He swallowed hard and said with a silly grin, "Why it's a Juicy Lucy."
A juicy what? I knew my doctor friend had a weakness for nurses on the side but had he now fallen to consorting with common street whores? How disgust...ing, er...wait, is he talking about something he was eating right then and there?
 |
| Not this Juicy Lucy..... |
I must have appeared confused because Doc swiveled his chair to display a half-eaten cheeseurger. Or was it a cheeseburger? No, wait. There was something wrong or different about it. Was it....? Yes! It was a hamburger filled with melted gooey cheese on the inside of the burger.
 |
| ....THIS Jucy Lucy. |
Wow! Now they have thought of everything. I mean, we sent astronauts to the moon in 1969, but it took us until the 1990s to put wheels on luggage and until 2011 to put the cheese inside our burgers. Why, the simple genius of it?
All I could rasp was "Where did that come from?"
"Well," he garbled before swallowing, "that is certainly a matter of intense controversy, especially in Minneapolis. You see, there are two bars, one called Matt's and the other the 5-8 which are across the street from each other and which both claim to be the originator. The 5-8 Bar calls theirs the 'Jucy Lucy' and Matt's lists theirs as the 'Juicy Lucy.' At the 5-8 Bar they wear T-Shirts that say 'Jucy Lucy' on the front and 'If its spelled right you are in the wrong place!' on the back."
"Well," he garbled before swallowing, "that is certainly a matter of intense controversy, especially in Minneapolis. You see, there are two bars, one called Matt's and the other the 5-8 which are across the street from each other and which both claim to be the originator. The 5-8 Bar calls theirs the 'Jucy Lucy' and Matt's lists theirs as the 'Juicy Lucy.' At the 5-8 Bar they wear T-Shirts that say 'Jucy Lucy' on the front and 'If its spelled right you are in the wrong place!' on the back."
"You had time to order lunch from Minnesota during my operation?" I asked. "How long was I out?"
He chuckled. "No, silly silly Shadow Pup. You won't believe it but they serve these at The Olive Room for lunch now," he grinned with cheese on his chin. "And it was only nine bucks with fries and a sOda!" (He emphasized the 'o' to sound like a Yankee from Fargo).
I almost feinted. My favorite fine dining restaurant was now open for lunch and it served what appeared to be a major breakthrough in gastronomy! Had I died and gone to Heaven....?
I heard a muffled burp. I came back from the bright light and gathered my senses.
"What else do they offer at lunch?" I asked.
"There are Cuban sandwiches, Korean quesadillas, chicken salads...a bunch of stuff all for the same price: Nine bucks. It's the bomb!" Then he turned to devour the rest of his Juicy Lucy leaving me longing for a trip to the Olive Room for lunch, soreness in my nether regions notwithstanding. As I slowly recovered my senses I began to long to be discharged. "I can't wait to get to the Olive Room STAT," I muttered.
Doc smiled again, "If you do be careful because the cheese center can explode in your mouth like molten lava and if it does you will want to get to the REAL OR stat!"
As I drifted off into a natural sleep my last thought was 'what will they think of next?"
Arrggh! Olive Room is closed
I think we'll use your review as an item description for that Juicy...Sorry, Jucy Lucy. Thanks for your kind words, and now you know what it's like working there everyday! How am I supposed to run a shift that smells like Cuban Sandwiches and (Gasp!) 10 hour hickory/applewood-smoked briskets? Yes, since Chef Mike won the Bassmasters cooking competition, we are a Big Green Egg richer, and he's taking full advantage of it. I'll say no more. Thanks again for your kind words!
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