“Yesterday there was a 438-comment thread started by somebody who got bad service at a Krystal drive-thru,” said Allpots, commenting on the 10,300-member LITG Facebook group. “Don’t these people have jobs?”
This from the foppish dandy Allpots, who hasn’t turned in an honest day’s work since his trust fund kicked in during Ronald Reagan's first term. Allpots kills me.
For a couple of years we've lamented the Facebook version of LITG, a witless collective behemoth long since run off the rails, where asshole know-it-alls have a free forum to declare my beloved Gump devoid of “authentic” Mexican food, and where an honest request for a date-night dining suggestion will devolve into a cavalcade of smartass comments… a veritable prick wave.
If you want “authentic” Mexican food, then go to Mexico. Get kidnapped and ransomed while you’re at it. Or hang around too long down there and get stuck on the wrong side of Trump’s Wall.
Numerous times over the past couple of months the “nuclear option” has received serious consideration here at LITG. When self-proclaimed LITG “members” threaten a local restaurant with “bad reviews” or attempt to declare some privilege of membership to cadge freebies or swag, well, my finger twitches over The Button.
|Don't make me push this.|
For crying out loud, the whole purpose of Lunch in the Gump, from the beginning, was to promote and celebrate deserving local restaurants. We will also cut a chain some slack if it’s Alabama-based and gets it right (i.e. Baumhower’s, Jim & Nick’s, etc.).
Not everybody local gets a pass, mind you. For example, when Saza’s had McLucid’s car towed, we gave them a bad review. The food was pretty good but hey, an eye for an eye.
Local restaurants have it hard enough trying to butt heads with slingers of corporate bypass hash without having to deal with 10,300 wannabe foodies and smartass trolls. LITG has never been about the food… it’s about the joint, the heart, the soul and the humor. It is also about the money, baby, and trying to keep as much of that cabbage circulating right in this here Gump as we can.
Why? Because the longer that cash stays in town, the better chance we all have of grabbing some of it.
Allow me to enlighten. We have a whole staff of economists here at LITG, and one day they explained, in a simple manner I could understand, the multiplier effect of local trade.
Let’s say you and your hot new girlfriend have dinner at Jubilee Seafood, which everybody knows is the best fish joint in these United States, and your damage runs a tad over $150. Because you had a perfect dinner and are not quite sure where you stand vis a vis the credit limit on your Visa, you toss a couple of C-notes on the table and say, “keep the change.”
Jubilee owner Bud Skinner (the hardest-working man in this here Gump) can hand your two hundo off to the seafood purveyor (he eats there) and pay for some of the superb fish everybody had tonight. The seafood guy can then pay the $200 he owes the truck driver who brings his shrimp up from the coast. This transaction in turn provides sufficient legal tender for the trucker to pay the local prostitute who, uncharacteristically for her profession, sometimes extends him credit.
Upon receipt of her two hundred bucks, the prostitute can pay what she owes to the drug dealer down the street, who will add that to his obscene wad of Benjamins so heavy he can barely keep his pants up. In due course that wad of Benjamins will be seized by local law enforcement, and, after the wheels of justice turn for a couple of years, that money can be used to repair and recondition truckloads of recovered stolen bicycles so they can be given to at-risk Gump youth who probably stole them in the first place.
Think about this, LITG Facebookers, the next time you want some bypass chain food. And don't forget we have The Button.