Ode to the pork loin

On the pork loin at Lunde’s we’ve often feasted,
Although we wonder from whence came this roast-beasted.
We have gladly dined and toasted while there,
others even bragged and boasted the fare,
Now the loss of this place has some feeling triste-d.

If you think this ode should be mournful, yea poignant,
I do not have time for such soppy annoy-ment.
The owner admits they had a good run.
Just forget the bad, remember the fun.
After all what’s life if you can’t have enjoyment?

So don’t let your eyes become cloudy and misty,
Nor your stomach too ill and dyspeptically.
Lunde’s is moving, not too far away,
Though to where we are not privy to say.
We’d have to kill you; it starts “Tal” and ends with “see.”

So come one and come all in these last final days.
Wish them well, even if you only feel malaise.
For you see our poor Lunde’s is closing,
I guess too many of you were dozing.
Alas, wake up before we have nothing but chains.

If Baumhower's Priced Food "Fairly" Like Uncle Sam Sets Tax Rates....

They serve a lot more than wings....

One of the last things you should do before an afternoon meeting is eat a "mountain of hot fries topped with melted Monterrey Jack, Cheddar cheese and bacon" as an appetizer before downing a foot-long Louisiana "Debris" (roast beast) po' boy with "Wet Fries" covered in mushroom beef gravy. That is, at least if you want to stay alert. Unfortunately, today at lunch The Younger forced me to lunch at Baumhower's in the RSA Tower where the LITG has previously visited and about which the LITG had previously approved.  So there I was, $8.95 cents later, stuffed to the gills with decent food served quickly and sitting at my desk nodding as a food coma came over me.  It is strange what you dream about during the half-nap grogginess following lunchtime gluttony. For me, today, it was taxes and my nap-dream went something like this:

I had just mailed my estimated taxes and read that 45 percent of taxpayers pay no income tax whereas the top five percent pay something like 45 percent of the taxes.  The associate press article in the Montgomery Agonizer, of course, emphasized that the top 500 taxpayers "only" pay 17 percent of their income when the top tax rate is 35% (without, of course, giving the reader the dollars paid).  So as I dozed off, I began to consider what would happen to the prices for lunch at Baumhowers if they had to allow half of the patrons to eat for free based upon their income and the prices were, in part, set by customers who did not have to pay for lunch.  Sort of like how legislators set the amount of tax money they take from some taxpayers to give to others.

It wasn't pretty.  The Po'Boy would really make you poor if you actually had to pay $15 for yours because half of the customers were getting theirs free.  Actually, the price would more than double because all the "free" eaters would jam the place so thick that those actually paying would have to pay $100 for each one they purchased and, you guessed it, it would discourage the payors from buying the things in the first place. Sort of like it happens in Atlas Shrugged (which, by the way is a pretty boring movie although I liked the book).  Anyway, there I was being asked to shell out a small fortune for a stupid sandwich while two overweight women with young children chowed down on the same po'boys for "free" and buying extra fries so they could increase their girth faster.  It didn't seem fair to me, even though I used to be taxed at the highest rate because I was "rich" (as defined by the IRS).  Seems like it is a bad idea to allow people to vote on spending money and raising taxes that do not have to pay the taxes which pay for the things the money is spent on. I decided we would pass a law that said you get one vote for every dollar you pay in income taxes.  Yeah, that would do it. If the rich really do not pay their fair share of taxes, the middle class will take over.  But the truth is that the "rich" pay far more in total taxes than the middle class which caused me to toss and jerk awake in my chair burping po-boy and mumbling something about what I could have purchased with the estimated taxes I mailed off today.


I know. There are no violins playing nor tears welling in the eyes of the masses reading this taxation self-pity. After all, I was able to afford a fine lunch at Baumhower's and have only myself to blame for overeating. But to those of you who actually pay no income taxes (or get refunds bigger than the taxes you pay) please spare me the lecture on my "duty" to pay a bigger share of the tax burden or my "selfishness" in not wanting taxes to go higher still.  I mean, how would you like to share your po' boy with the guy at the next table if he can get one for free?  My family fled Ireland because of the confiscatory tax policy that existed back then. I just hope it doesn't come to that here. I hope Atlas does not shrug.

Errrrrp! Pardon me.....

And by the way, I can't help but comment on the publicly-financed Bronner Palace at the RSA where Baumhower's is located.  The opulence is impressive.  It would be hard for any private commercial developer to match the work that can be paid for with funds meant for an unsustainable pension program for statey's.  There, now I've pissed everyone off.  Happy Tax Day!!

Baumhowers is in there somewhere....

If you knew Sushi....

              As a former military man, I like it when things don't touch.

--By Squeak (as told to No Grits No Glory)

.....like I know Sushi, Oh, Oh what a Cafe!

When the Monday Gumpers started rattling off potential lunch destinations, Sushi Café was nominated by yours truly. Bama Bing!'s response was a surly, "Sushi Cafe? Y'all are bold. I'm not so sure I'd even send the pigs." Well, the pigs had some fine vittles at this latest ZRED entry. Chase Allpots, Shadow Pup and I were pleasantly surprised as we parted the oriental curtains and entered this cozy, well-appointed café.

There were five elevated booths down the left side, two tables and a 12-foot bar down the right. We were greeted promptly by hostess-san and seated at the four-top nearest the bar, though-due to the no pets policy-Shadow Pup was asked to wait outside. The restaurant was full, yet our order was taken almost immediately. It didn't take long to go through the menu, with ten sushi rolls and four lunch boxes to choose from.

A bento box lunch is a compartmentalized tray consisting of a salad, tempura shrimp and vegetables, a 4-piece California roll, fried (or white) rice and the entrée of your choice. The four entrees are chicken, beef, and salmon teriyaki and a lightly battered pork cutlet. Unfortunately, they were out of the pork (Chase pointed out that a .750 average would get you into Cooperstown at least twice, but I equated it to a "C" on a test). We later learned that they withheld the pork due to Bama Bing!'s tasteless pig reference.

There wasn't much time for conversation or chopstick practice before the salad was served. The lettuce was about a 6 on the greenometer, but was crisp and was a wonderful carrier for a tangy, very interesting dressing. None of us gaijin could discern the tasty ingredients.

Moments after polishing of the salad, one chicken teriyaki and one beef teriyaki box were presented for our dining pleasure. They also had sauces on the side, a thousand island-like dipping sauce for the tempura and a soy-based sauce for the rice. There was also wasabi to mix with soy sauce for sushi amplification. The presentation is way cool and the taste lives up to the billing.

It's a great, light, tasty lunch that almost made it under the Tojo line: $10.89 including endlessly refilled iced tea. As we left an efficient 4o minutes after arrival, we were worried when Shadow Pup wasn't obediently waiting at the door, especially with China King only a few feet away. But all was well, as the Pup had done what we all wanted to do: duck into California Kraze for a bucket of yogurt. Jealous, but happy, we all said goodbye to ZRED with our tails wagging.

Pierce's not a Love Story

The "margerine" and gravy were too salty and coagulated.

Pierce’s Country Cooking was the opted venture of the day and with the reported loss of two adventurers last week at a previously reviewed establishment on Furnace Street*, I felt obligated to provide the review in tune form to honor the fallen:

Sung to the tune of Andy William’s Theme From Love Story

Where do I begin?

To tell the story of a congealed lunch I had with thee

From gravy, cobbler and two-colored butter now in my artery

Left wondering where the nearest emergency room was to me

Where do I start?

First we said hello!

Welcomed by a sign that said “When Ordering Please Bellow”

Baked Chicken, cabbage, mac/cheese for here and not go

All things cooked with some odd form of clear Jell-O

Lord it’s my heart!

They filled my heart with very salty things

It seemed that salt was on everything

Chopped steak processed not made with love

Greenish gravy not from anywhere above

It’s all true, I was there …

How long can this last?

This pain in my gut surely can not last all day

Maybe more Rolaids will make it go away

I can’t stand it when LITG makes me feel this way

Why was I there?

Why was I there …

Why was this guy leaning over the counter?

Now, for the real "Love Story" watch Taylor Swift blow them away on Letterman....

*Information concerning this GGP foray is still classified. Forget what you read about it.

Fine Dining Road Show to The Spring House

I know you must be tired of the mindless ramblings of that n'ar do well Irishman Allpots. I truly know that I am. Therefore, I feel compelled to contribute a little story about my recent trip up AL 63 to "The Spring House" at Russell Crossroads. You see, while CNA's culinary mind is muddled by his cavorting with his stable of wealthy man-starved widows, my bride of umpteen years and I remain focused upon the experience of a fine meal served by attentive and professional waiters in a pleasant location. To us, if there are no white tablecloths and the wait staff is not wearing aprons and collared shirts, the place should be generally avoided. The Spring House at Russell Crossroads near Lake Martin provides exactly what we consider a fine dining experience.

For dinner I recommend you arrive, as we always do, at least 15 minutes before the scheduled sunset and enjoy one of their ample martinis on the west-facing deck. Ask for the blue-cheese stuffed olives if you are so inclined. I prefer a Grey Goose vodka martini straight up with a twist. On a clear evening the view of the sunset is outstanding.

Almost every time we have dined for dinner on a weekend at The Spring House we see friends from Montgomery. This evening was no exception. There on the patio was my cardiologist, my banker, my insurance agent and (cough) my proctologist. We were also joined by a constitutional officer of the State who had just attended some sort of "rodeo" involving rattling snakes and had the pictures to prove it. Only the handshake and conversation with the proctologist was the least bit awkward. The waitress allowed us to chat while we sipped our cocktails. They realize at The Spring House that good conversation with friends compliments a fine meal.

Of course, as with all fine restaurants, the menu changes constantly depending on the availability of suitable ingredients. This past Saturday I was able to order the hickory grilled Painted Hills Flat Iron Steak with roasted fingerling potatoes and green beans. My appetizer was the "chopped salad" with a very light and different blue cheese dressing. It all went well with the '06 Beaucastel Chateauneuf-du-Pape Rhone. My better half and daughter had the seared red fish and hickory smoked quail. They purred as they dined.

Dinner at The Spring House is not for the unemployed or those without a trust fund. Dinner for three (sans the $250 bottle of wine) was about $175 including the martinis and an absolutely fabulous banana pudding served with a glaze of melted sugar like a creme brulee.

After the meal I fired up a Cuban Cohiba Behike on the upper deck and stared up into the clear night sky at the brilliant stars of Orion's Belt that seemed closer and brighter than normal due to the absence of ambient city light. Why, it was so beautiful and the meal so fine that I was almost unmanned.

If you long for a fine dining experience while visiting Lake Martin I can highly recommend The Spring House. I also highly recommend you make your reservations a week or more in advance if you are planning a weekend dinner.