The LITG "Year in Review" (2010)

The year 2K10, as viewed through the greasy prism of the Lunch in the Gump gang, was a year of surprises and reversals of fortune. It was a down year for the economy, gambling, Obama, Bama and the Bistro but an up year for the GOP, criminal defense lawyers, Auburn and Derk's Filet and Vine. Join us now for a walk down lunch memory lane for a review of the history of world as revealed in the best posts on Lunch in the Gump. Like so many fine works of literature, we shall start at the beginning:

We started the year observing that the imitation "spread" Gecko served at the Commerce Cafe was not affected by the cold corn muffin. We re-checked the status after Christmas and found no change:

The "butter" Gecko sits defiantly atop a corn muffin after a welding torch failed to melt him.

Despite the foregoing, the Commerce Cafe is still going strong as do most entities with a symbiotic relationship to the RSA. Unfortunately, two of the six places rated in January are no longer with us: Tokyo and Cujo's Lunch Express. Their food will not be missed. I may eventually miss that funky smell from the Tokyo dumpster. Was it ground nutria?

The best line in January was: "Capitol Oyster Bar oozes Gumpness like an open sore." But the most memorable character making its debut in January was the ubiquitous "Chile Poblano" of La Zona Rosa fame. Thankfully, they can be kept at bay with a dull fork.

February brought the 2010 winter Olympics and the beginning of what appeared to be a year of gambling raids and/or indictments. Here in the Gump one of our favorites--Hamburger King--won the Burger Luge and India Palace won the silver in Goat Roping. But the visual memory of the 2010 Olympics was the vision of Tommie Smith and John Carlos raising the black power salute on the podium to protest the closing of Victoryland.

The Eastbrook Cafe was also raided when its famous pulleybones were used as part of the "Pulleybone Method" to determine who would pay the check. We called it a game of skill, the gambling task force called it a lottery. The pulleybones were saved when cooler heads prevailed after Tojo held John Tyson like a pulleybone and Tojo told the stormtroopers to leave: "Or else Tojo make wish."

March Madness and Chile Poblano Day dominated the third month. The Effete Eight included La Zona Rosa, Cook Ma's, Hamburger King, Lunde's, Martins, Chop House and newcomer Sa-Zas. The Chile Poblano saw its shadow portending six more weeks of winter.

In 2010, the Chile Poblano ("La Zona Rosa Filipe") saw his shadow.

April was filled with tricks, tragedy and redemption. Our April Fools Day announcement of the closing of Chris' Hot Dogs brought traffic to a halt as throngs flooded downtown to savor their last Chris' dog and cheeseburger. Thankfully, it was just a cruel joke that caused the highest of number of hits on the blog in history. The closing of Hamburger King wasn't a joke, but thankfully it was only temporary. Sadly, we lost ole curmudgeon Capt'n Pat at the end of the month and could only be consoled with the opening of another season of Biscuits and Brats at Riverwalk.

In May, the great recession began losing it's grip on the gang as we saw forays "above the Tojo Line" to "The House" at the Renaissance and the always excellent Michael's Table in Z-Red. You might be interested to know that the Fed now uses Lunch in the Gump to spot trends in the economy. However, to the dismay of many, LITG foolishly dabbled in politics and endorsed a candidate for public office. It was the Kiss of Death and will not be repeated (unless and until we change our minds).

June brought us a new restaurant and hints of a replacement for Nancy Paterson's Bistro in No-Clo. Sal's Pizza opened in the Z-Red and has been going strong ever since. With PBR and outstanding pizzas, the place has been very popular despite its splendid view of drainage ditch at the back of Zelda Place. Whereas Nancy Paterson's was in the process of jumping to a new location--like the Cornhusker's jumped to the Big-Ten--rumors of a new restaurant in their old location began to circulate in June. The month ended with one of our own--Reginald McLucid--having his car towed from in front of Sa-Zas where he was triple parked. McLucid was shocked that the law applied to high-priced criminal lawyers. His campaign against the eatery has been relentless ever since.

July hailed the re-opening of the renovated Marina on Shady Street but may have foretold the beginning of the end for Bama Bistro on Commerce. As Bidgood Bob put it: "Bama Bistro may not make it, but hell, neither did any of the banks or investment firms who used to have palatial offices on this part of Commerce Street." We will miss the Bistro and hope the Marina will hit its stride when the weather improves.

In August we saw the re-opening of Nancy Paterson's Bistro in Zelda Place, the mystery of "Bob 's Salad" at Dreamland revealed, and a strong showing for The Olive Room. But everything was not "ducky." The summer heat must have gotten to me, but I had a little brain fart and went off on a rant about Katrina victims that caused quite a stir and almost cost the loss of the my blogging status.

Thankfully, Bidgood Bob didn't pull the trigger.

September brought the beginning of the college football season which was supposed to involve a repeat championship for the Crimson Tide and created a near-crisis in the Gump when members avoided each other to avoid fraternizing with the enemy. I rose like a Phoenix after my near-death experience and, like Colbert, honored Congress by testifying about the egg salmonella scare we experienced that month.

One of our most popular blogs ever heralded the opening in October of the Village Kitchen in No-Clo. Old Mortimer the pig would love the Truffle Fries. But controversy raised its ugly head again with the indictment of the Blogging 11 (including our own Cornbread Carp) who were accused of selling favorable blog posts for random appetizers. That story will play out in 2011 although at the end of the year, one of the defendants plead guilty and began tuning up to turn on the others. The Carp is in the good hands of Sir. Reginald McLucid, counselor and expert parking ticket evader.

November saw Auburn continue their narrow escapes while Bama faltered. It also saw the first Republican legislature in Alabama history and the opening of two new restaurants: All-City Coney Island Eatery and Mamma Nems. All-City pleasantly surprised but Mama Nems was overwhelmed and unprepared. Perhaps in 2011 they will be able to hire a service staff. But, unfortunately, most will remember November for the Cecil Carp controversy. As we all now know, Reverend Cecil Carp was offering to sell his son's (Cornbread's) favorable reviews for money. It was more scandal for the Cornbread Carp but eventually Cornbread was cleared by the FBI although many find it hard to believe he did not know what his father was doing behind the scenes. LITG has disassociated Rev. Carp from participation.

Of course December brought resolution to the BCS Championship and a Heisman Trophy for Cam Newton. However, more importantly, the LITG Lunch Bowl Championship Series came down to an epic struggle "between the wedges" of Filet and Vine and Shashy's Bakery and Fine Foods. After a two-day cage fight, Derk's prevailed and was proclaimed our 2010 LBCS Champion. Auburn fans can only hope for such a victory over the Ducks.

The shrimp etouffe at Shashy's was very fresh.

Despite the indictments of many of our friends and a struggling economy, it has been a fun year at LITG. Although we lost some favorite lunch spots, we have replaced them with some fine new ones. We hope our friends--and the Carp-are either acquitted or sentenced to serve time at the Maxwell CC.

Tojo and I wish to thank all our contributors who work for free to make this the number one blog in the world about eating lunch in Montgomery despite the sparse competition. We look forward to the opening of a deli in Alley Station and other restaurants in 2011 as the economy improves. Most importantly, we wish you a Happy, Prosperous and Sated New Year in 2011.

Stay hungry our friends!

Happy Holidays from Shadow Pup.
As you can see from the tag on my collar, I predict that Auburn will win the BCS game by a score of 22-19 by a fieldgoal on the last play.

Martinis, Chicken Salad and Scotch: A Gentleman at Lunch

[Ed. Note: The Montgomery Brewing Company is "closed for rennovations." However, it does not look llike any work is going on there and we are beginning to doubt the "See You Soon" sign after two months of outward non-activity.]

No Toby, you can't have any you old sot!

With the market in the crapper, oil spoiling beach vacations and investment portfolios all askew, a gentleman must adapt to his decaying circumstances--at least with respect to lunch. In lieu of pork loin and truffles,  bangers and mash at the local public house may have to be considered.  However, I say a gentleman can eat and drink well on a reduced budget if one has some imagination (and a bottle of 18-year-old Scotch in the office).  Wednesday, for example, yours truly was able to enjoy a fine lunch and get slightly banjaxed at the same time for a reasonable ("sustainable") price.  The secret is to order the "Mama Netties" chicken salad from The Montgomery Brewing Co. and to chase it with some fine Glenlivet.http://www.theglenlivet.com/  You can order the salad as a sandwhich but I prefer it on a bed of fresh greens with a roll and fruit. Very good for remaining fit and trim.  Of course, the secret is the quality of the scotch (I usually prerfer my Jameson) which also numbs the hunger pangs and allows one to avoid the bread with empty calories.

With a slight buzz about your work may suffer but if you cap off the evening with Chophouse VY martinis from their crackerjack bar staff you will wake up with a headache but a few pounds lighter. Probably bad for the liver though. Despite being a little sharp set, sipping a fine martini and bantering with the late crowd that often fills the quaint little Chophouse bar (including Bud Skinner and Ben the chef) creates a mellow mood and conversational tone where most of the problems of the world can be quickly solved with the flick of an olive.

A civilised luncheon. Cheers!

Incidentally, I have noticed that more and more Gumpers are paying attention to the World Cup football being broadcast at this time. At my office I thought a major deal had been closed from all the screaming the other day. Come to find out it was just a few chaps in an office watching the U.S. score a goal to tie a match at the 92nd minute. You would have thought they were English football fans the way they caterwauled in the hallway.  Very refreshing.  Hope it portends a growth in football popularity in the states as opposed to the armored wankerball one sees everywhere in the fall.

Along those lines, I hope the popularity of my Momma Netties Chicken Salad and Scotch lunch special catches on.  Just tell Chris Ellis (the friendly proprietor) that Lunch in the Gump sent you and you want the barely legal Scotch.

Cheers!

CNA, MP

News from NoClo: There may be a new sheriff in town....

Is that a Spanish question mark?

Your Lunch in the Gump investigative reporting team (yours truly, The Younger and Detective D) visited the NoClo (North Cloverdale) district today and boy have we got some news for you!

NoClo is already the home of Chophouse VY, Derk's Filet and Vine and the Pine Bar Salad Bar with more eateries and/or drinkeries on the way. Here's the straight poop:

First, we know that Derk's Filet and Vine has now opened its ADDITIONAL SEATING AREA which means that instead of sitting next to the lighter fluid and charcoal or standing around looking lost with your tray waiting for a un-bussed table, you can enjoy your meal on the new wooden tables while perusing the fine wine selections in the new presentation room. Today the fried pork chops were the size of boneless pig's knuckles and the veggies superb. I will note the cornbread was warm and they offer unlimited Land O Lakes butter as a condiment. The Younger could not even devour the entire pig knuckle chop it was so huge. The price is a bit over the Tojo line ($10) with drink but Derk's is still one of the best meat and three hot tables en el todo del Gump. Derk's remains a LITG favorite for lunch.

Second, we know that Nancy Patterson Catering, LLC is no longer renting space in North Cloverdale and, in fact, is in a bit of a kerfuffle with the landlord (Atlantic & Pacific Development, LLC) over an alleged "breach of lease" involving a claim of $172,172.58. (See CV 2010-900762). The case is assigned to the Hon. Johnny Hardwick (a Lunch in the Gump fan and Davis Cafe icon). We hope cooler heads will prevail and matters can be settled amicably. The defendant's answer is due in about 30 days.

Third, we know that all of the former Nancy Patterson's Bistro space has now been rented and we have the picture to prove it (see above). We also know, according to high placed sources, that the new restaurant will be opening in September of this year. We believe that date to be somewhere around September 9. We cannot reveal our source for this information.

Now, here is where it gets a little tougher to report. Who is going to fill the space vacated by the Bistro? Inquiring Gumpers want to know! As a public service, your team of reporters fanned out across the Gump to seek those in the know willing to go on the record with the skinny on the new restaurant in "NoClo." We initially heard some tripe about the Hot N Hot Fish Club folks from the 'Ham looking over the space. We also hoped rumors we heard were true that Corsino's would move out of their present dump into the new space. But hoping doesn't make it happen and we, like all good reporters, seek the truth. So, as the mainstream media is so often to do, we sought ought an expert opinion. We found a well-known celebrity full of opinions and who expresses them freely on the radio during Lunch in the Gump. That experience in today's media passes for expertise on all things that relate to lunch. I am, of course, talking of Advertiser and radio talk show host Josh Moon who is an expert on about anything you can think to ask him. So we approached Mr. Moon about the mystery of what restaurant will fill the Bistro Space and got this thoughtful response:

"Everyone is just tired of having American food all the time and with all the negative publicity Arizona has received, it would be plain stupid to put another Italian restaurant or fish club in that space. So, I have it on very good authority from undisclosed sources that the owners have inked a deal with........" (See picture below).

Don Jose Tienda Mexica!

You saw it here first!