The LITG "Year in Review" (2010)

The year 2K10, as viewed through the greasy prism of the Lunch in the Gump gang, was a year of surprises and reversals of fortune. It was a down year for the economy, gambling, Obama, Bama and the Bistro but an up year for the GOP, criminal defense lawyers, Auburn and Derk's Filet and Vine. Join us now for a walk down lunch memory lane for a review of the history of world as revealed in the best posts on Lunch in the Gump. Like so many fine works of literature, we shall start at the beginning:

We started the year observing that the imitation "spread" Gecko served at the Commerce Cafe was not affected by the cold corn muffin. We re-checked the status after Christmas and found no change:

The "butter" Gecko sits defiantly atop a corn muffin after a welding torch failed to melt him.

Despite the foregoing, the Commerce Cafe is still going strong as do most entities with a symbiotic relationship to the RSA. Unfortunately, two of the six places rated in January are no longer with us: Tokyo and Cujo's Lunch Express. Their food will not be missed. I may eventually miss that funky smell from the Tokyo dumpster. Was it ground nutria?

The best line in January was: "Capitol Oyster Bar oozes Gumpness like an open sore." But the most memorable character making its debut in January was the ubiquitous "Chile Poblano" of La Zona Rosa fame. Thankfully, they can be kept at bay with a dull fork.

February brought the 2010 winter Olympics and the beginning of what appeared to be a year of gambling raids and/or indictments. Here in the Gump one of our favorites--Hamburger King--won the Burger Luge and India Palace won the silver in Goat Roping. But the visual memory of the 2010 Olympics was the vision of Tommie Smith and John Carlos raising the black power salute on the podium to protest the closing of Victoryland.

The Eastbrook Cafe was also raided when its famous pulleybones were used as part of the "Pulleybone Method" to determine who would pay the check. We called it a game of skill, the gambling task force called it a lottery. The pulleybones were saved when cooler heads prevailed after Tojo held John Tyson like a pulleybone and Tojo told the stormtroopers to leave: "Or else Tojo make wish."

March Madness and Chile Poblano Day dominated the third month. The Effete Eight included La Zona Rosa, Cook Ma's, Hamburger King, Lunde's, Martins, Chop House and newcomer Sa-Zas. The Chile Poblano saw its shadow portending six more weeks of winter.

In 2010, the Chile Poblano ("La Zona Rosa Filipe") saw his shadow.

April was filled with tricks, tragedy and redemption. Our April Fools Day announcement of the closing of Chris' Hot Dogs brought traffic to a halt as throngs flooded downtown to savor their last Chris' dog and cheeseburger. Thankfully, it was just a cruel joke that caused the highest of number of hits on the blog in history. The closing of Hamburger King wasn't a joke, but thankfully it was only temporary. Sadly, we lost ole curmudgeon Capt'n Pat at the end of the month and could only be consoled with the opening of another season of Biscuits and Brats at Riverwalk.

In May, the great recession began losing it's grip on the gang as we saw forays "above the Tojo Line" to "The House" at the Renaissance and the always excellent Michael's Table in Z-Red. You might be interested to know that the Fed now uses Lunch in the Gump to spot trends in the economy. However, to the dismay of many, LITG foolishly dabbled in politics and endorsed a candidate for public office. It was the Kiss of Death and will not be repeated (unless and until we change our minds).

June brought us a new restaurant and hints of a replacement for Nancy Paterson's Bistro in No-Clo. Sal's Pizza opened in the Z-Red and has been going strong ever since. With PBR and outstanding pizzas, the place has been very popular despite its splendid view of drainage ditch at the back of Zelda Place. Whereas Nancy Paterson's was in the process of jumping to a new location--like the Cornhusker's jumped to the Big-Ten--rumors of a new restaurant in their old location began to circulate in June. The month ended with one of our own--Reginald McLucid--having his car towed from in front of Sa-Zas where he was triple parked. McLucid was shocked that the law applied to high-priced criminal lawyers. His campaign against the eatery has been relentless ever since.

July hailed the re-opening of the renovated Marina on Shady Street but may have foretold the beginning of the end for Bama Bistro on Commerce. As Bidgood Bob put it: "Bama Bistro may not make it, but hell, neither did any of the banks or investment firms who used to have palatial offices on this part of Commerce Street." We will miss the Bistro and hope the Marina will hit its stride when the weather improves.

In August we saw the re-opening of Nancy Paterson's Bistro in Zelda Place, the mystery of "Bob 's Salad" at Dreamland revealed, and a strong showing for The Olive Room. But everything was not "ducky." The summer heat must have gotten to me, but I had a little brain fart and went off on a rant about Katrina victims that caused quite a stir and almost cost the loss of the my blogging status.

Thankfully, Bidgood Bob didn't pull the trigger.

September brought the beginning of the college football season which was supposed to involve a repeat championship for the Crimson Tide and created a near-crisis in the Gump when members avoided each other to avoid fraternizing with the enemy. I rose like a Phoenix after my near-death experience and, like Colbert, honored Congress by testifying about the egg salmonella scare we experienced that month.

One of our most popular blogs ever heralded the opening in October of the Village Kitchen in No-Clo. Old Mortimer the pig would love the Truffle Fries. But controversy raised its ugly head again with the indictment of the Blogging 11 (including our own Cornbread Carp) who were accused of selling favorable blog posts for random appetizers. That story will play out in 2011 although at the end of the year, one of the defendants plead guilty and began tuning up to turn on the others. The Carp is in the good hands of Sir. Reginald McLucid, counselor and expert parking ticket evader.

November saw Auburn continue their narrow escapes while Bama faltered. It also saw the first Republican legislature in Alabama history and the opening of two new restaurants: All-City Coney Island Eatery and Mamma Nems. All-City pleasantly surprised but Mama Nems was overwhelmed and unprepared. Perhaps in 2011 they will be able to hire a service staff. But, unfortunately, most will remember November for the Cecil Carp controversy. As we all now know, Reverend Cecil Carp was offering to sell his son's (Cornbread's) favorable reviews for money. It was more scandal for the Cornbread Carp but eventually Cornbread was cleared by the FBI although many find it hard to believe he did not know what his father was doing behind the scenes. LITG has disassociated Rev. Carp from participation.

Of course December brought resolution to the BCS Championship and a Heisman Trophy for Cam Newton. However, more importantly, the LITG Lunch Bowl Championship Series came down to an epic struggle "between the wedges" of Filet and Vine and Shashy's Bakery and Fine Foods. After a two-day cage fight, Derk's prevailed and was proclaimed our 2010 LBCS Champion. Auburn fans can only hope for such a victory over the Ducks.

The shrimp etouffe at Shashy's was very fresh.

Despite the indictments of many of our friends and a struggling economy, it has been a fun year at LITG. Although we lost some favorite lunch spots, we have replaced them with some fine new ones. We hope our friends--and the Carp-are either acquitted or sentenced to serve time at the Maxwell CC.

Tojo and I wish to thank all our contributors who work for free to make this the number one blog in the world about eating lunch in Montgomery despite the sparse competition. We look forward to the opening of a deli in Alley Station and other restaurants in 2011 as the economy improves. Most importantly, we wish you a Happy, Prosperous and Sated New Year in 2011.

Stay hungry our friends!

Happy Holidays from Shadow Pup.
As you can see from the tag on my collar, I predict that Auburn will win the BCS game by a score of 22-19 by a fieldgoal on the last play.

It Takes a Village...Kitchen, Pimm's Cup and Truffle Fries

[Ed Note: On Tax Day 4/18/2011, this was in the window of the Village Kitchen]

What new restaurant will replace Village Kitchen?

While not expecting a dining experience on the level of Galatoire’s nor a tuxedo clad maître’ d to snap for my seating, I did hear tell of a new local bill of fare in my Cloverdale hometown that would suit my discerning tastes. I am delighted to note that The Village Kitchen is located next door to my very own club in Old Cloverdale, and attempting to remain anonymous during my maiden visit, I fetched my big nose and glasses from the glove box of my Benz, donned and entered to dine alone as usual, hopefully undisturbed by the rabble that frequent places like Derk’s down the street.

I was promptly greeted by a pair of young respectably dressed young men (one with “highlights” in his hair) who honored my request of seating in a corner near a curtain for privacy. While I found no white table cloths, I did take notice of the substantial renovations that the new owners had accomplished. My aging ears (due no doubt to listening to the Nessum Dorma at extreme levels on the headphones) were pleased to be exposed to merely a conversational level of background clatter, substantial chairs with soft white leather seats and matching tufted leather, button appointed wall coverings behind booth and bench seating. Being the sentimental Gumperdale curmudgeon that I am, I took particular note of the prominent, appropriate display of an old sign from “The Great A & P Tea Company” reminding all patrons of the importance of days past. While the tables were ghastly topped in replaceable brown paper coverings, I took an editorial note that this was probably out of expedience and corrections to be made forth with. Properly seated I did see that each table was appointed with a small delightful potted red-tipped jade plant, obviously placed to draw the eye away from the brown paper.

I received my menu from Summer, a delightful oddly named waitress, who proceeded to guide me through options, noting that Butternut Squash was the soup de jour and opining that it was very good. (Looking through my disguise, I remembered that I was undercover I refrained from instructing her that I would be the judge of that). Summer (that odd name again), did tell me that the libations were on the other side of the menu. I turned the page and located the “Cloverdale Pimm’s Cup”. Pimms, Gruet Sparkling Wine, ginger syrup & cucumber. I sat upright and ordered two. A Pimm’s Cup, A PIMM’S CUP,
A P I M M ‘ S C U P !!!!! In the GUMP! Who would have ever imagined that?

Apologies.

Now the problem. No sooner than my Pimms arrived, I glanced to my right and saw that crass Chase N. Allpots and his driver, the obnoxious Fat Clemenza, coming through the door. Irish and Italians, together, The Horror. I grumbled and slumped below my Pimms and kept a watchful and discreet eye on these two decayed fellows.

As usual, Pots and Clemenza were already sauced. They were also speaking louder than necessary in the newly decorated and quieter surroundings of The Village Kitchen.

A different waitress politely served them their libations: Allpots, already reeking of gin and true to his nature, ordered the “Mind Your Elders” (made with fine Hendricks Gin and Elderflower syrup). Clemenza ordered something Italian called “The Capistrano (Woodford Reserve, Vermouth and Bitters). I finished my Pimm’s Cup and quietly ordered a glass of Cain Cuve Nv6 which was a creamy little cab with good legs.

Summer quietly interrupted my surveillance to ask if I was ready to order. I was. It would be the Roasted Chicken “Cobb” Salad ($11) for me. She reminded me that the soup of the day on Thursday was “Butternut Squash” ($3 Cup). I told Summer I would give it a go.

After Summer departed I turned my attention back to the rouges’ gallery nearby. I overheard Clemenza order the Village Patty Melt ($10)(grilled fresh-ground beef on house-made rye, Russian dressing, caramelized onions and swiss cheese). For his side order he requested Truffled-Parmesan Fries ($3). The thought of truffles took me back to my childhood pet piglet--Mortimer who could find a truffle in a snow storm. Alas, while daydreaming I did not catch Allpots’ order.

My cup of “Butternut Squash” soup appeared as if it had wafted on air. A small but fair portion of orange-butter bisque. It was so buttery good, it would make Linda Richman swoon and call Barbara Streisand. Yes she would. The soup was delicious enough to make me forget the babbling idiots nearby and forget to mind the fake moustache. No matter. No one noticed.

A Buttery Butter Bisque.

Summer removed the vanquished soup promptly and it was only a short time before my Cobb salad arrived. The greens and tomatoes were grown locally. I do not know the origins of the chicken but it was just enough to quench my appetite yet not so much that I felt a pang of guilt. Any guilt I felt was quelled by a sip of the cab. The crumbled blue cheese, egg, tomato, avocado, bacon and red onion vinaigrette melded with the wine and satisfied the palate. It was a salad best savored over fine conversation with a beautiful creamy woman with long legs—like my Cain Cuve.

The Village Kitchen Cobb Salad.

Alas, I had no beautiful nor interesting company. And I could not quit listening to the babbling coming from Allpots and Clemenza about wagers on what Allpots calls “armoured wankerball.” Apparently there is some contest this weekend between a university in Alabama and some Florida reptiles. I only caught something about an 8 point line. Sounds like a heavy line but alligators can be rather large I guess. I really have no idea what all that means but I did notice that Clemenza enjoyed every bit of his patty melt and those truffle fries. I should have ordered some myself. I do so miss Mortimer.

Since the Great Recession is now officially over and I needed to remain hidden until Allpots and Clemenza left, I splurged with some of The Village Kitchen’s “Award Winning Cheesecake” ($5). They must have worked very fast to achieve that award since they just opened yesterday. In any event, whether it was award-winning or not, it was made at the restaurant and it was rich and delicious. I was very glad to have ordered it.

Finally, as I finished my cheesecake, Allpots and Clemenza paid their tab (supposedly) and departed. They seemed very pleased with the entire package and themselves. They were chattering on about how they liked the décor, the service and the food so much, they would be back. Thankfully, they never saw me.

While the Village Kitchen advertises its pride in "Slow Food," the service was anything but while the food tasted like something that had been made that day with hours of preparation.

Drat, I thought. I feel the same way about this remarkable place. It is certainly fit for a gentleman at lunch. If they return often, I may have to actually talk to them at some point. After all, there are not that many places where a gentleman can find truffle parmesan fries and a Pimm’s No. 1 Cup. Regardless, I shall return to The Village Kitchen if they can keep up the level of food and service I experienced today. I give it four swizzles.

Cheerio.