The LITG "Year in Review" (2010)

The year 2K10, as viewed through the greasy prism of the Lunch in the Gump gang, was a year of surprises and reversals of fortune. It was a down year for the economy, gambling, Obama, Bama and the Bistro but an up year for the GOP, criminal defense lawyers, Auburn and Derk's Filet and Vine. Join us now for a walk down lunch memory lane for a review of the history of world as revealed in the best posts on Lunch in the Gump. Like so many fine works of literature, we shall start at the beginning:

We started the year observing that the imitation "spread" Gecko served at the Commerce Cafe was not affected by the cold corn muffin. We re-checked the status after Christmas and found no change:

The "butter" Gecko sits defiantly atop a corn muffin after a welding torch failed to melt him.

Despite the foregoing, the Commerce Cafe is still going strong as do most entities with a symbiotic relationship to the RSA. Unfortunately, two of the six places rated in January are no longer with us: Tokyo and Cujo's Lunch Express. Their food will not be missed. I may eventually miss that funky smell from the Tokyo dumpster. Was it ground nutria?

The best line in January was: "Capitol Oyster Bar oozes Gumpness like an open sore." But the most memorable character making its debut in January was the ubiquitous "Chile Poblano" of La Zona Rosa fame. Thankfully, they can be kept at bay with a dull fork.

February brought the 2010 winter Olympics and the beginning of what appeared to be a year of gambling raids and/or indictments. Here in the Gump one of our favorites--Hamburger King--won the Burger Luge and India Palace won the silver in Goat Roping. But the visual memory of the 2010 Olympics was the vision of Tommie Smith and John Carlos raising the black power salute on the podium to protest the closing of Victoryland.

The Eastbrook Cafe was also raided when its famous pulleybones were used as part of the "Pulleybone Method" to determine who would pay the check. We called it a game of skill, the gambling task force called it a lottery. The pulleybones were saved when cooler heads prevailed after Tojo held John Tyson like a pulleybone and Tojo told the stormtroopers to leave: "Or else Tojo make wish."

March Madness and Chile Poblano Day dominated the third month. The Effete Eight included La Zona Rosa, Cook Ma's, Hamburger King, Lunde's, Martins, Chop House and newcomer Sa-Zas. The Chile Poblano saw its shadow portending six more weeks of winter.

In 2010, the Chile Poblano ("La Zona Rosa Filipe") saw his shadow.

April was filled with tricks, tragedy and redemption. Our April Fools Day announcement of the closing of Chris' Hot Dogs brought traffic to a halt as throngs flooded downtown to savor their last Chris' dog and cheeseburger. Thankfully, it was just a cruel joke that caused the highest of number of hits on the blog in history. The closing of Hamburger King wasn't a joke, but thankfully it was only temporary. Sadly, we lost ole curmudgeon Capt'n Pat at the end of the month and could only be consoled with the opening of another season of Biscuits and Brats at Riverwalk.

In May, the great recession began losing it's grip on the gang as we saw forays "above the Tojo Line" to "The House" at the Renaissance and the always excellent Michael's Table in Z-Red. You might be interested to know that the Fed now uses Lunch in the Gump to spot trends in the economy. However, to the dismay of many, LITG foolishly dabbled in politics and endorsed a candidate for public office. It was the Kiss of Death and will not be repeated (unless and until we change our minds).

June brought us a new restaurant and hints of a replacement for Nancy Paterson's Bistro in No-Clo. Sal's Pizza opened in the Z-Red and has been going strong ever since. With PBR and outstanding pizzas, the place has been very popular despite its splendid view of drainage ditch at the back of Zelda Place. Whereas Nancy Paterson's was in the process of jumping to a new location--like the Cornhusker's jumped to the Big-Ten--rumors of a new restaurant in their old location began to circulate in June. The month ended with one of our own--Reginald McLucid--having his car towed from in front of Sa-Zas where he was triple parked. McLucid was shocked that the law applied to high-priced criminal lawyers. His campaign against the eatery has been relentless ever since.

July hailed the re-opening of the renovated Marina on Shady Street but may have foretold the beginning of the end for Bama Bistro on Commerce. As Bidgood Bob put it: "Bama Bistro may not make it, but hell, neither did any of the banks or investment firms who used to have palatial offices on this part of Commerce Street." We will miss the Bistro and hope the Marina will hit its stride when the weather improves.

In August we saw the re-opening of Nancy Paterson's Bistro in Zelda Place, the mystery of "Bob 's Salad" at Dreamland revealed, and a strong showing for The Olive Room. But everything was not "ducky." The summer heat must have gotten to me, but I had a little brain fart and went off on a rant about Katrina victims that caused quite a stir and almost cost the loss of the my blogging status.

Thankfully, Bidgood Bob didn't pull the trigger.

September brought the beginning of the college football season which was supposed to involve a repeat championship for the Crimson Tide and created a near-crisis in the Gump when members avoided each other to avoid fraternizing with the enemy. I rose like a Phoenix after my near-death experience and, like Colbert, honored Congress by testifying about the egg salmonella scare we experienced that month.

One of our most popular blogs ever heralded the opening in October of the Village Kitchen in No-Clo. Old Mortimer the pig would love the Truffle Fries. But controversy raised its ugly head again with the indictment of the Blogging 11 (including our own Cornbread Carp) who were accused of selling favorable blog posts for random appetizers. That story will play out in 2011 although at the end of the year, one of the defendants plead guilty and began tuning up to turn on the others. The Carp is in the good hands of Sir. Reginald McLucid, counselor and expert parking ticket evader.

November saw Auburn continue their narrow escapes while Bama faltered. It also saw the first Republican legislature in Alabama history and the opening of two new restaurants: All-City Coney Island Eatery and Mamma Nems. All-City pleasantly surprised but Mama Nems was overwhelmed and unprepared. Perhaps in 2011 they will be able to hire a service staff. But, unfortunately, most will remember November for the Cecil Carp controversy. As we all now know, Reverend Cecil Carp was offering to sell his son's (Cornbread's) favorable reviews for money. It was more scandal for the Cornbread Carp but eventually Cornbread was cleared by the FBI although many find it hard to believe he did not know what his father was doing behind the scenes. LITG has disassociated Rev. Carp from participation.

Of course December brought resolution to the BCS Championship and a Heisman Trophy for Cam Newton. However, more importantly, the LITG Lunch Bowl Championship Series came down to an epic struggle "between the wedges" of Filet and Vine and Shashy's Bakery and Fine Foods. After a two-day cage fight, Derk's prevailed and was proclaimed our 2010 LBCS Champion. Auburn fans can only hope for such a victory over the Ducks.

The shrimp etouffe at Shashy's was very fresh.

Despite the indictments of many of our friends and a struggling economy, it has been a fun year at LITG. Although we lost some favorite lunch spots, we have replaced them with some fine new ones. We hope our friends--and the Carp-are either acquitted or sentenced to serve time at the Maxwell CC.

Tojo and I wish to thank all our contributors who work for free to make this the number one blog in the world about eating lunch in Montgomery despite the sparse competition. We look forward to the opening of a deli in Alley Station and other restaurants in 2011 as the economy improves. Most importantly, we wish you a Happy, Prosperous and Sated New Year in 2011.

Stay hungry our friends!

Happy Holidays from Shadow Pup.
As you can see from the tag on my collar, I predict that Auburn will win the BCS game by a score of 22-19 by a fieldgoal on the last play.

Derk's Wins 2010 LBCS Championship 6-2 over Shashy's!



Urban cool at Shashy's in the calm before the traditional Bagel Walk...



Coach Derk Lyerly leading his team under the W.C. Fields Arch into the dining room at Derk's.

 

Whoa Nellie!  It was a real flan burner, a battle etoufee, a bread heat, a Rumble in the Gumple! Yes, it was Lunch in the Gump -- back-to-back at the two finest lunch spots in Montgomery (according to our thousands of readers), reviewed by the sharpest wits and food critics in el todo del Gumpo (that's "in all the Gump" for you all at El Cantaro).

Every aspiring chef from the time they create their first edible Easy Bake Oven recipe dreams of the day they can display their talents on the world's biggest stage for lunch reviews in Montgomery, Alabama: The Lunch in the Gump Bowl Championship Series (LBCS) Finals!!

All the years of work, the pain, the health inspections, the adversity, meeting payrolls and then, finally, it all comes together and you have your shot at lunch immortality and you stand there, with the confetti flying about you, holding the coveted pure aluminum LBCS Championship Trophy. It just doesn't get better than this, unless you are one of those shallow motards who think your university winning all their American armoured wankerball games (as Allpots calls them) is an accomplishment, and you don't count.

It was quite a lineup served up by the Derk's Ducks in the first half: baked chickens the size of footballs, sirloin kabobs skewered with Conecuh sausage, fried chicken the size of Tojo's head, all adorned with some of the finest fresh vegetables anywhere in the area and a variety of fresh cornbread muffins.

Seated among cases of expensive vino destined for the homes of fatcats who can't tell Opus One from horse pee, the Gump critics, for the most part, sampled from each other's plates to insure fairness in the judging (it must be noted, however, that Tojo Yamamoto only shares with Shadow Pup).

At halftime, it appeared the quick and fast Ducks were going to pull all the meat away from the bone.



This duck had a bad day....

 But the War Bagels of Shashy's had no quit or grits in them. Normally nondescript in their approach with no visible signs from Mulberry Street except the tradition-filled "EATS" and "Bakery" sign on their stadium, in the second half they took the table with French Dip, Shrimp Etoufee, Chicken and Tabouli Salads, Artichoke Casserole at defensive end, a Fried Pork Chop and a Greek Grouper pulling up the rear. When pulled out of the pile the Greek Grouper yelled its popular war cry: "OPA!" and the battle was on.

Shashy's took risks, big risks. A tabouli salad is made with wheat bulger that to serve correctly has to be allowed time to swell after the olive oil is applied. One false move and the whole thing swells in the tummy causing that "I'm about to pop" feeling all true lunch fans fear. But team Shashy pulled it off, even though they forgot the chopped onions to confuse the referees.

Norm attacks the Tabuli before it goes into the spread offense

 while the FPC looks on...helpless.

With all the options and misdirection, the Lunch in the Gump gang caused local confusion but were "outed" by other fans anyway. One noted sports columnist, Mickey Griffin, thought we were the "The Lunch in the Bunch Gump" or "The Lunch of the Punch drunk." Never mind, we kept our ears pinned back and a necks bowed as we devoured the tasty fare. We put aside such distractions and kept our eyes on the bowl.

PBR in reserve.

When it was all over and the dust had settled, the final scores were posted by the LITG epicureans:

Snooty Old Chase N. Allpots: Shashy's for the bland but respectable etoufee, snappy table service, the decor and the ample parking;

Innocent Until Proven Guilty Cornbread Carp: Derk's for the combination of a blue collar cafeteria and snooty bottleshoppe atmosphere, humongous portions, no cell phones in line, PBR in the cooler and Pomerol by the case;

Politically Incorrect Shadow Pup: Shashy's for the smell of freshly baked breads served with every entree and they don't take food stamps to keep out the riff-raff;

Massive Tojo Yamamoto: Derk's, because Tojo leave full, rub belly, burp, taste excellent cabbage again, need nap.

Man-about-town Bidgood Bob: Derk's, because of the self-serve drink bar where you can get half sweet/half unsweet so that your tea is like Baby Bear's porridge -- just right.

Person of Interest The Younger: Derk's because you can't argue against a face-sized boneless chicken breast.

Wry wino BB MAK: Derk's! Because the food is hot, fresh, quick and filling. Something just about every other restaurant aspires to serve but usually falls short. Plus, I found out about some secret parking spots. Double plus: I like being surrounded by fine wine while I eat. It makes me feel sophisticated--even if I cannot actually pronounce "sophisticaed" after consuming several glasses of said wine.

Made Man Fat Clemenza: Tough, as it should be. While the ambiance and overall dining experience edge would have to go to Shashy's, if asked where I would take someone from out of town the immediate response would be Derks! Therefore, Fat Clemenza delegation casts all of its votes for the next LITG series champion: Derk's Filet and Vine!

And there you have it fans, the final score is Derk's 6 and Shashy's 2. The winner of the 2010 Lunch Bowl Championship is now and forever: Derk's Filet and Vine!!!!

In closing, we at LITG hope you have enjoyed the 2010 lunch season and our little blog.  We wish all of you the happiest holiday season.  Stay safe! 

Until next year: Stay Hungry Our Friends!

WIB

Pot-O-Gold Found at O'Shashy's Irish Bakery on Mulberry St.

As St. Patty's Day approaches, I long for my homeland where the Guinness flows green in Dublin. So much do I pine for my Erin Go Bragh that I swear I see Irish themes in the strangest of places. Recently, after sampling many of the local eateries in this area, I had come to believe that the same Leprechaun that set Mobile all abuzz had migrated to this area and for some inexplicable reason now operated Shashy's Bakery and Fine Foods on Mulberry Street. Of course, all I had to go on was this amatuer sketch made by a resident of Mobile a few years back.

Amateur sketch of the Mobile Leprechaun.

Upon arrival at Shashy's I was affirmed and delighted to see the owner of Shashy's nimbly leaping from table to table like a capuchin monkey dressed like the Notre Dame mascot. He bore a striking resemblance to the amateur sketch (as would anyone in a green hat).

Being originally from Ireland, I knew that Leprechauns each guard a pot of gold so I was comforted by my belief that if I deviated from the regular lunch menu and north of the ten-dollar lunch Tojo-Line, there might be a source of payment nearby IF I could catch the little fellow and make him tell me where it was hidden.

But this Monday, the Ides of March, it was "Et Tu Carpe?" Indeed, it was the Cornbread Carp who called in his marker for a free lunch and then piled on by insisting that we lunch at expensive Shashy's with all the girls in tennis outfits fresh from their lessons at The Club. I could not tell whether the Carp was trying to maximize the value of his prior wager or just wanted to ogle the hotties. Ahh, the younger generation: Money is no object when someone else is paying and cute girls are involved. But back to the review:

Located across from the old Rexall Drug Store on Mulberry (where as a pippin I gambled for speckled gum balls that entitled you to a highly-coveted "Shrunken Head" toy each day on the way home from Forest Avenue School), Shashy's has been a Gump Icon for about 15 years as a bakery and as a lunch haven. Now they even serve breakfast! Of course, the Carp saw the "Fresh from the Famer's Market Vegetable Plate" came with cornbread and added the meat loaf covered with Creole sauce just to stick it to me for another buck fifty (2 Euros). The Carp almost fainted when the cornbread arrived warm with a pat of REAL BUTTER (not that crappy Promise spread). Yes it melted! It melted so fast the Carp could not devour the square before it was saturated in delicious buttery buttered butter-flavored sweet creamery butter. The vegetables were fresh, fresh, fresh: squash, onion, and field peas. So tasty but $11.50 without tea. See below:

Quite a plateful: Real Butter not shown.

Bama Bing and the Show Dog were also along (but I could not comp their meals without a loan from the 'chaun's Pot-O-Gold). But even though they were paying their own way, they went off the regular lunch menu to order the special Shrimp Etouffee which were each $12.95 (a buck more than the crayfish version and about three times what the same dish costs at Baumhowers). Bing did note that the extra shrimp cost about a buck each. The recession must be over or they had more incentive to catch the 'chaun! They both raved about the buttery roux. Money means nothing to Bing as he also ordered the tea bringing the total for his indulgence to $15.90. Funny, but even though Show Dog had exactly the same order, his totaled up at $14.80. Must have been the fact that Bing never takes off his sunglasses and they thought he was blind.

I opted for the local favorite Po-Boy and was not disappointed. With water, I left Shashy's sated and with change for my ten-spot. No need for me to catch the Leprechaun and make him talk. The po-boy was outstanding!

Since the service was pretty good, we left fairly hefty tips, for us.

Only bad experience was having my bubble burst by being assured I was just imagining that Jimmy Shashy was Irish when, in fact, I am told the Shashy's are of Lebanese descent (or something like that). I know they have been in the Gump for at least two generations and their dad doctored most of us in the 60s when we got sick eating the Atomic Fireballs. Regardless, on St. Patty's Day everyone is Irish at Shashy's, one of the Gump's best places to have lunch--and perhaps even breakfast. On behalf of the entire LITG crew, we apologize for not reviewing this "Pot-Of-Gump-Gold" sooner.

Go n-eírí an bóthar leat!