Lent in the Gump: Week 2: The Saga Continues at Commerce Street Soda Shop and Bushwood

Shakes for the shakes.

Monday Lunch: Lent Week 2:

Astrophysicists have located a black hole at 15 Commerce Street that has sucked many a new restaurant into its spinning vortex down into oblivion and beyond.  Remember Bama Bistro?  Gone.  Santa Fe Express? Kaput. Uncle Bimbos Bar-B-Que and tattoo parlor? Poof.

As my efforts to move past the shakes continued (see first post below), I, along with several of the gang [BBMAK, The Younger, Big Easy Slim and Finnekey Eater] passed the Commerce Street Soda Shop (spelled Shoppe in some advertisements/news reports) Monday looking for lunch in all the wrong places. (The Olive Room no longer serves lunch).  So what is more appropriate for a drying-out Irishman with the shakes?  Why a chocolate shake at a soda shop of course. So, we decided to try it out.

Although other wags, like Bama Bing or Tojo, have set the "over and under" life for any restaurant in this location at 150 days, we noted as we waded into the narrow space that the "first dollar" on the wall was dated December 11, 2011, which means this place has already passed the 90-day mark.  Time to load up on the "over" for this place.

BBMAK ordered the Philly cheese steak.  One thumb up.

The Younger placed a complex order for chicken fingers and a cherry coke.  Despite his demanding and refined taste, he was pleased with the results. Two thumbs up.

Big Easy Slim, who is in the midst of some humiliating thing called "boot camp" ordered a salad.  Our ambassador from New Orleans declared it "outstanding."  Three for three.

As for myself, the old Irish prose, I ordered the steak fajita wrap with blue cheese and homemade chips.  Wow!  The chips were right out of the fryer and very good.  The wrap was ample and the blue cheese sauce a different but pleasant flavor combo.  But the cherry on top was the chocolate shake with a real cherry on top of some whipped cream and chocolate sauce.  A very tasty treat and meal for just a few cents under $10.  Four in a row.

Finally, all eyes turned to Mr. Finnekey.  There was a hushed silence, except for the hokey 50's tune running in the background.  After devouring the "special" (a chicken sandwich on Texas toast covered with chipolte sauce) with french fries, Finnekey looked up and announced: "You may put in your little blog the following: 'My companion marveled at having a fresh tomato on his sandwich in February.'"  Well, that's about as high a rating as he ever gives thus making it official: One for the Thumb!

As we left, I made a mental note to pay a visit to 'my man' and lay some on the over for The Commerce Street Cafe.  They may be the first success story in this location in a long time.

Monday Evening: Annual Meeting at Bushwood CC:


If you are trying to cut down on your alcohol consumption, or are a recovering alcoholic, the last place you should visit is an open bar with complimentary prime rib banquet at Bushwood CC.  Monday was their annual meeting and, of course, I ignored my own advice and attended.  After learning that more members had died than joined during the past year, I scurried into the buffet line for some really fine salmon and prime rib both cooked to the correct temperatures and delicious.  At my table were the captains of the legal, securities, real estate and civil engineering professions all enjoying either ice-cold beer or vodka drinks from an open bar nearby.  Fearing temptation, I wolfed down my meal and quickly departed for the festivities in the "Men's Grille" downstairs from the meeting.

There one could enjoy some friendly wagering on dice and cards among other members (for amusement purposes only of course) while our local Doctors of Mixology kept everyone's glasses full.  Cigar smoke filled the air along with the laughter of those whose tongues had been loosened by the truth serum being dispensed from an open bar.  It was not the temptation of the wilderness, but, for a besotted old Irishman who could see the lonely unopened bottle of Michael Collins Irish Whiskey on the top shelf, there for the asking, it was some temptation nevertheless.

To fight off the urge to say: "Reggie, just one of the 'Big Fella' for me my good man!," I immersed myself in a game of Texas Hold-Em with an "Arnold Palmer" as my only liquid refreshment.  Soon I found myself thinking more about what was on "the river" than what was in the cabinet.  My pangs subsided and, actually, I found myself playing cards slightly better than normal.  I actually won some....chips.

After the game broke up I even enjoyed an Arturo Fuente on the porch during a lovely Montgomery evening for a February.  All in all a fine evening for one proud to have stared a small temptation in the bloodshot eye and bested it.  Perhaps it will be downhill from here.

 

Squeak Peek: Santa Fe Express Goes Taco y Taco with Cantina Downtown

[Ed. Note: Santa Fe Express es muy finito. No trespassing signs up 8/31/2011. Adios Santa Fe Express!]

The holes in the facade from the rudely dislodged former "Bama Bistro" sign which once hung above the door a few months ago have not yet been filled, but the space has. Our elite commandos recently received hard intelligence that a new "Mexican" restaurant was now occupying the 15 Commerce Street "hole in the wall" location of the former Bama Bistro. Although the intelligence was questioned due to the implausible idea of another Mexican restaurant opening within a block of the Cantina in the Alley, for the safety of the dining public, once the new restaurant was confirmed to exist, the fearless and expendable GGPs were deployed to investigate by any take-out or eat-in measures. Sorties were launched Tuesday and Thursday by land and air units of the Gump Guinea Pigs. Here is their report, now declassified for the public as written by "Squeak" their shadowy and furry commander:

A rare photo of Squeak using his MRIV (Mexican restaurant insertion vehicle)

At 1200 hrs 23 June 2011, The Santa Fe Express door was already open so (classified) and I entered and noticed one booth full of stateys in full feeding mode tearing into their lunches like two-year-olds opening presents on Christmas morning or like raccoons going through a trash can. It was not hard to move past them without being noticed. One customer was leaving the counter with a bag heavy with a take-out order. They paid us no attention or did not see us in the brim of our insertion vehicle (see above).

Since our mission was to eat-in, we sat in an open booth and in no time a very nice young waitress greeted us and brought us our requested water with lemon. A few seconds later a "free" (note this Cantina owners) basket of warm nacho chips and a bowl of delicious salsa was brought to the table.

The salsa was very tasty on the warm chips and on the burrito that followed.

Upon perusing the menu (classified) and I immediately saw a bargain and an opportunity to try more than our usual one entre: "Create Your Own Lunch." This deal allows you to pick 2 items ($4.95) or 3 items ($5.95) from a list of 15 items including: burritos, quesadillas, tostadas etc. The order was placed and within minutes very hot plates were presented with extra napkins and very fair portions of food. (Classified) had the chalupa and tamales which he announced to be consistent with expectations and the fare of other decent (but not great) Mexican restaurants in the Gump. I chose the beef burrito and a chicken quesadilla and was equally satisfied especially after adding the sour cream I requested and some of the salsa brought for the chips.


We sent in another team on a take-0ut mission the same day. It was noted that a bag full of warm chips along with a fair helping of tasty salsa is equally available for take out orders (gratis). The take-out team thought it was rather cool they were playing music via an ipod connected to a small speaker. The music appropriately filled the small space (not too loud and not too soft). Their use of minor copyright infringement to keep the cost down was noted and appreciated. The take-out team ordered the burrito with sour cream and a soft taco. They confirmed the quality and price were comparable to most other "Mexican" places in town

The required incubation and quarantine period having passed, I can report that Santa Fe Express is not only approved for the general LITG gang it proved to be a very quick and inexpensive lunch for the public at large. Expect nothing fancy. Expect nothing out of the ordinary. But with a 98 health rating from the local health inspectors, expect clean surroundings and good food at a really fair price. It may give the more expensive Cantina a run for its money.

Obviously, no casualties were reported.

Over and out.

Squeak.

Bama Bistro - Who are we to criticize the new business model?

Bama Bistro lunch crowd at 12:00 noon Tuesday

[Ed Note: We regret to inform you that it appears that our little hole in the wall is now a void between two walls i.e. closed]

As loyal LITG readers already know, Bama Bistro (15 Commerce St.) has made some changes to its business model. In these trying economic times, many business people are tweaking their modi operandi to hang on until we get through this rough patch, or until the banks own everything, whichever comes first.

Anyway, last week we learned that Bama Bistro is no longer open on Mondays, so we went around the corner to Lunde's (no, that doesn't rhyme). Lunch in the Gump, being a Monday thing, doesn't get to review many of the "closed on Monday" joints, like the Capitol Oyster Bar or the Montgomery Chicken Salad Club, but we wanted to give Bama Bistro a shot at redemption. So this week Fat Clemenza, Shadow Pup, Tojo Yamamoto, Chase N. Allpots and I, Bama Bing, broke protocol and went to lunch on Tuesday.

Anyway, when we got there at noon (see above) we deduced that Bama Bistro had decided to close on Mondays and Tuesdays, and that the last to leave had just forgotten to lock the door and turn off the "open" sign. We didn't see a soul in there. Luckily, however, before we started looting the place, a very nice young lady appeared for the greet & seat.  She took our drink orders and we settled in for a quick lunch, happy to have beaten the crowd.

12:10... no drinks yet. Or customers.

Clemenza surmised that maybe the new business model was geared toward "private dining." Well, good thing it was private because Tojo, as usual, didn't have on shirt or shoes, and Allpots didn't put his napkin in his lap (the horror). Worst of all, Shadow Pup (he of no opposable thumbs and limited conversational skills) got bored waiting for his water and started licking his balls.

Happily, though, things started happening at 12:11. Tea and water were served. Orders were taken. Salads began to appear, then chicken tetrazini, basil pesto chicken, chicken marsala, and chicken something-or-other. You would think we were all a bunch of vegetarians. The food was tasty, inexpensive and plentiful, although not terribly photogenic, as shown below:

What LITG is all about: Good food -- cheap and plenty of it.

As we finished our excellent lunches we found ourselves in a moral dilemma -- do we give Bama Bistro a good review on Lunch in the Gump, and thereby run the risk of derailing their new "private dining" business strategy? Or do we keep quiet about this scruffy, quirky little hole-in-the-wall? One would think that a positive review here would bring crowds, followed by word-of-mouth buzz and millions in profits, but who are we to say?  Maybe they are doing it this way for tax reasons.

Side notes: We are happy to report that Bama Bistro provides a solid beer selection (see left), including the usual domestic brands and favorite imports like Heineken (Holland), Corona (Mexico), and Germ-X (Germany). These are proudly served in plastic go-cups so you can take a cold one back to the office and continue your deposition with gusto. You only go around once.

Lastly, you will be glad to learn that Bama Bistro is serious about cleanliness, and for the discerning diner this establishment provides hand sanitizer on every table. In fact, on our table there was no salt & pepper, but there was hand sanitizer.

Imagine our shock, however, when we noticed Tojo applying tangerine-scented hand sanitizer to the remains of his Bama Bistro lunch. 

Tojo like.

Bama Bistro may not make it, but hell, neither did any of the banks or investment firms who used to have palatial offices on this part of Commerce Street. We recommend you check it out. For just $6.99 plus tax (the price of a darn good Bama Bistro lunch w/ H2O), you can help save this locally-owned joint.

 

Vegetarianism, Vegans and Trojans at Lunde’s

Vegans build their pyramids on water. They are not good swimmers. 

Unbeknownst to us, effective July 5, the Bama Bistro decided to close on Mondays. So when the LITG gang (Tojo Yamamoto, Big Easy Slim, Show Dog, Chase N. Allpots, Bama Bing, Cornbread Carp, Shadow Pup, BB MAK and Fat Clemenza) showed up at Bama Bistro hungry but locked out, the consensus was to shift the meeting to nearby Lunde’s (pronounced “Loond’s” because it is owned by Norwegian Cajuns) in the Bell Building. Once again, Bama Bistro forced us into a very fine corner table at trusty Lunde’s where one of the best lunches in the Gump can be had for two bucks under the Tojo line.

It is somewhat old news that everything at Lunde’s is good and reasonably priced. The red beans and rice, shrimp etouffe, chicken salad po’boy and blackened pork loins were devoured by the group with a slice of freshly baked “lemonade cake” for dessert. Me-oh, my-oh. However, today the real treat was catching up with the news and banter of the diverse LITG crew, which started something like this:

BB MAK: Wow, look across the street at the two MPD Segway scooters parked on the sidewalk in front of Flames Grille. Has Flames started giving away doughnuts?

Show Dog: Maybe Flames serves Krispy Kreme doughnuts now.

Tojo: Good doughnut never too crispy. Good doughnut yield to bite like Superfly Jimmy Snuka yield to Stomach Claw.

Allpots: Can vegetarians eat doughnuts? I was in Asheville at the Biltmore House this weekend and upon leaving Sunday went downtown and breakfasted at the “Happy Greens” on Wall Street. Everything had a “V” by it except the omelets and mine came with a biscuit and some type of fake non-meat sausage I cannot name. But I was wondering if vegetarians can eat things like doughnuts.

Bama Bing: I ate at a very fine vegetarian restaurant in San Francisco one time. The food was real good but I would bet you there was some bacon fat involved in the process somewhere. I like any recipe that starts with “melt 1 ½ sticks of butter.” [At which time Karen Lunde presented Cornbread Carp and Fat Clemenza with two warm pats of Land-o-Lakes for their delicious cornbread].

BB MAK: Vegans can’t eat any animal byproducts but some vegetarians can eat eggs, cheese and butter.

Tojo: Tojo vegetarian. Tojo not eat meat—just pork.

Shadow Pup: Pork is the other white meat.

Tojo: What is first white meat?

Shadow Pup: Chicken. You must have taken too many blows to the head.

Tojo: Tojo vegetarian—just eat pork and chicken.

Bama Bing: Yeah and I’m a male Lesbian….. [Awkward pause].

Shadow Pup: Not that there is anything wrong with that….

Show Dog: I’ve never understood the various types of vegetarian labels. There are strict vegetarians and then there are some that eat fish and, err… pork and chicken. What are they called?

Fat Clemenza: Episcopalian vegetarians. By the way, I’ve never understood why vegetarian restaurants serve dishes that mimic meat dishes.

Bama Bing: Yeah. If their food tastes so damn good why do they have to pretend like it’s my food… tofu “burgers,” mushroom “sausage”…. eecch. Next time I see a vegetarian I’m going to hog-tie him and force-feed his hippie ass some Conecuh sausage. That’ll cure him.

Cornbread Carp: I just wish that one time when I go to eat at the home of a vegetarian they will return the favor of me serving them a dish served without touching meat by serving me a meat dish served on a plate that never touched bean sprouts. That’ll never happen.

Shadow Pup: Have you ever noticed that strict vegetarians have an odor about them. What’s up with that?

Show Dog: There was a guy I knew growing up in Troy that thought male vegetarians were either communists or carnivores trying to lay girl vegetarians and then eating Big Macs on the way home.

Bama Bing: I knew that guy. His name was Robert [censored]. He was a character. At the local restaurant he loudly announced his plans to marry his fourth wife. His buddy told him: Robert, you know that girl has slept with everybody in Troy? The whole restaurant got quiet and
Robert said: “I know. But Troy ain’t no big place.”

Show Dog: Robert quit school in the 3rd grade—sort of like Tojo—and liked to boast he was told he would never be anything but a ditch digger and that he was, in fact, a ditch digger….but one who dug them with several D350 Caterpillars worth $300,000 each.”

Bama Bing: He is the same guy who learned to fly his own Bonanza and landed illegally behind a 757 at Hartsfield because he had to pee.

Show Dog: Yeah, they were putting the handcuffs on him as he relieved himself at the end of the runway. Thankfully it was before 911 or they would have shot him down.

Chase N. Allpots: What a classy fellow. You know they call themselves the “Trojans” for the same reason. [Awkward pause]

Bama Bing: They call all the teams Trojans down there because Troy is so safe and secure.

Show Dog: Real snug.

Bama Bing: There used to be a condom factory in Troy, but they only made “Ramses” and “Sheik.” They call that irony.

Allpots: "Stay classy Troy."

BB MAK: Anyone want to split a piece of the “Lemonade Cake?”

Tojo: Can vegetarian like Tojo eat cake?

Fat Clemenza: You think they got cannoli?

Cornbread Carp (to Show Dog): You gonna finish your cornbread?

[And the banter resumed….]

Now you see why we enjoy our LITG meetings. They bring out the best (or worst) in lunchtime conversation. At LITG, like this blog, you will always learn something….you did not know. Enjoy!

Bama Bistro with Coratio Sauce!!

Bama Bistro to Go!

Back where I come from we sometimes eat fish for breakfast. I know my fish. Also, given my problems with gout, I have had to cut back on my extravagant lunch habits and my consumption of carbohydrates. These two ideas collided today with the idea of trying "Bama Bistro" again but, this time, ordering the grilled Tilapia. I hate to brag, but I believe I out-ordered the entire Gump today. That means you Whig in a Blanket! And, as a convenience, I ordered it to go so I could dine alone on my private lunch patio deep in the cool depths of the Gump.

This is what greeted me when I opened the Styrofoam:

Shown on my personal dining patio (doesn't everyone have one?). Fancy tablecloth not included.

When you order the grilled Tilapia from Bama Bistro and Chef Coratio is behind the grill, you are going to get a freshly grilled piece of fish AND a made from scratch buttery sauce with Tarragon (?) that rivals anything I have had in a while. For my sake, due to the low-carb diet, Chef C omitted the rice and substituted collards (with real ham hocks) and green beans, both of which were NOT from a can. Being a legal alien, I am not really sure what a ham hock is so I took a picture:

A "hock"

If you do not like "hocks" in your collards, go to an all you can eat buffet where the collards are poured out of gallon-size cans. To me, a hock in your collards or beans means "home cooked."

The price for this feast (with diet beverage) was just around $8 with tax. Well below the Tojo line. I would recommend calling ahead, however, because the entree really is cooked to order and it takes a few minutes to prepare. But today I enjoyed a nice chat with the patrons while waiting and learned a lot about why representing women in domestic relations cases is a pain in the.....(but that is a whole different story).

But while waiting I did learn some good news: Bama Bistro now has a liquor license and serves breakfast (for $3.99)! I love a nice tot of Jameson with my fried eggs don't you? To top it off, they are talking about opening on weekends too.

Bama Bistro's phone number is (334) 240-6938. It is located at 15 Commerce St. next to ServisFirst Bank (the old Colonial Bunker).

They are truly locally owned and deserve our seal of approval (which is a surprised-looking carp):

No offense Cornbread.

Micro-Gump: Witnessing the Resurrection of Bama Bistro

Much like the witnesses of the Lazarus story of old, I have witnessed the resurrection of Bama Bistro. And much like the believers who are able to read the account of the miraculous events from the Good Book, you, my dear blog reader, are able to receive the Good News about a the little local restaurant that could. But wait, I am getting ahead of myself.

In the beginning, a man created a restaurant. It was a modest establishment, trying to serve the good people of the Gump a good meal while they waste their lives away working for The Man Downtown. I had heard tale of such a place but, sadly, it was only in the past tense. Upon my first encounter with this restaurant, which shall be called Bama Bistro, I saw nothing but a locked door and, behind the smoggy glass windows, chairs stacked up on tables and a pile of unpaid bills that had been shoved under the door by a disgruntled worker for the U.S. government who is oblivious to the fact that this place is obviously CLOSED and those bills ain’t gettin’ paid.

But fear not, my child, for this story is about faith and hope. For, on one fateful day, I received word from a reliable LITG tipster that Bama Bistro had reopened.

And it was so.

I asked for mercy and forgiveness; how could I, calling myself a Gumpian, deny patronage to a local eatery right in the heart of downtown and owned by a simple man just trying to get by in this transitory life? Perhaps he had only needed one more customer, and those bills could have been paid. Alas, I seized on the second chance that I had been given. For if not me, who? And if not now, when? And so, with great thanksgiving, I accepted the first bequest that I received to visit this establishment and congratulate the owner on his resurrection.

And it was good.

I partook of the jerk chicken sandwich. Tasty, with a little kick to it. I wept. Yet it was not too spicy, like how sometimes Indian food makes my head itch. The surroundings were humble; a rather narrow space but enough tables and chairs for the modest crowd. I believe that the location was formerly Boomer T’s. I heard gospel music from the portable radio set on the counter. The service was friendly and there was a slight glow about the place, almost like a halo.

My companion had the chicken tetrazzini, affectionately referred to as the “chicken tet” at Bama Bistro:


My friends, I can testify that I personally witnessed that dish be devoured within minutes. There is no better compliment to a good meal than fast consumption.

I did not try the daily specials, but I would fully expect them to be strong in caliber. They are certainly set at a fair price:








And so, to you unbelievers, I ask that you renew your faith. Visit the Bama Bistro and you will not be disappointed. Seek, and ye shall find. Knock, and the door shall be opened. But if it does not open, and instead you find nothing but a pile of unpaid bills, you will only have yourselves to blame. And I will wash my hands of you.




Posted originally on http://www.lunchinthegump.com/

Gump on the Go: Rainout Gump Take Away Diary

O.K. It is raining cats and squirrels in the Gump at lunchtime and your ankle bracelet can't get wet. To top it all off, you actually have work to do because you have wasted all morning swapping slobber with your Bammer friends about the No. 2 Tide (and/or the collapse of the Tigers). What do you (or Larry David) do?

The answer: Force some runner to divert a trip to deliver time sensitive and critical closing documents needed by an important client so they can run by and pick up your lunch and bring it to you first, of course. (And then complain that they only provided two Catsup packets and deny you knew about the diverted errand when the runner is fired).

But where and what do you order? Hmmm.

Choice's Chinese? No choice for me. Nose too sensitive. Roaches hang themselves.

Bama Bistro? They won't answer the phone from the jail er...office. Are they still open?

Chappy's? No way. I've sampled way too many of those "free" left-over sandwich platters on the conference room table to want to actually pay for a quarter of a sandwhich I could make myself if I had opposable thumbs.

Hamburger King? You kidding! Those things don't travel well. They liquefy after five minutes in a styro box.

Davis Cafe? I am afraid that if those turnips cool they will set like cement.

Dreamland? Now you are talking. Chicken or pork. Two of my natural enemies chopped or sliced like Auburn's defense. Much easier to catch on a bun. Yummy and right downtown. Only problem, bottom bun soggy. We have sent men to the moon, but we can't package a bar-b-que sandwhich to travel five minutes in a styrofoam box without the bottom bun getting gooey. [Which is a really tiresome analogy because it actually took us longer to put wheels on luggage and coolers than it took us to go to the moon.] Hint: Try putting the sauce in a side tub!

I wish our favorite places could figure out delivery logistics. Rainy Days And Mondays Always Bring Me Down.

Still high and dry,

The Shadow Pup, Lh.D., C.D.

See Standard LITG Disclaimer.

Microgump: Bama Bistro Serves True Lunch Only Cuisine

View from Table Coratio

After "gut bombing" my system at Chris' Hotdogs yesterday, my stomach settled and I coerced a fellow gumpster (a/k/a The Shadow Pup) to lunch to eat something other than the usual meat and three. As we wandered down the odd numbered side (West) of Commerce Street with the tourists trying to find a worthwhile downtown lunch experience, the words "Bama" and "Bistro" caught my eye, as well as, the well-worn Colonial Bank wording etched into the granite building next door: 15 Commerce Street. Having visited before, I knew familiar faces and a lunch-only cuisine was close at hand. Greeted personally by Executive Chef Coratio (yes, that is what it says on his tunic), my lunch companion was impressed that I possessed the "inside" scoop on the place. When you look at the menu, you wonder how the food and the place are entwined together. There in the menu was a plethera of real restaurant dishes like chicken pesto pasta, pork chop supreme and others. I assured my companion (I swear I am not gay--not that there is anything wrong with that) that whatever was ordered, WOULD be good. After much discussion and the fact the Bamastrami no longer is offered, we both settled for the Bama Beef Brisket --- make that Bama "Smoked" Beef Brisket, as Chef Coartio gave us the reasoning for the distinction. This food was simply, outstanding--nuf said. The sandwich, which came with a side, with tax, was $7.69, well under the defined mark for Gumpster lunches. With Bama, Bistro, Smoked and under $10.00, I give it four.five Yellow Hammers out of Five Warren St. Johns. RTR.


The "Bama Bistro" is open 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. M-F.