Crossing the RED LINE Gangnam Style

[Ed Note 5/29/2015: Looks like Gangnam has bitten the dust]

The leaders of Lunch in the Gump have previously declared the Eastern Bypass to be the red line boundary of the Gump over which no self-respecting member of LITG should cross without changing the calculus of supporting our local mid-town restauranteurs.  Yet, in the past our leaders have ignored the red line in the asphalt as other members have brazenly visited terrific places like Wishbone Cafe or D'Road and lived to blog about it.  This has obviously weakened our foreign policy.  However, never before had we, the elite Gump Guinea Pig Squeal Team Six*, ever been asked to venture into West Shorter until we received our orders to try the new Gangnam Grill which recently opened just across the bypass from the Gump.

Steeling our nerves and with our muzzles all a'twitch, we passed through the busy intersection cameras without triggering the flash that leaves a record.  There in the former Hooter's building--Hooter's being the bane of fine dining, women's liberation and a non-Gump chain (good riddance)--was the new and well-signed Gangnam Korean Grill & Bar.  The interior decor was very stylish and totally changed from what I imagined to be the tacky raw wood of the interior of a Hooters.  Chic all the way.  My only problem was the markings on the bathrooms caused me to mistake the ladies room for the men's room.  Thankfully, there was no one home and no one noticed but me.  An international incident was avoided.

What is "Gangnam" you ask?  Well, according to a lot of unsubstantiated internet chatter, it is a section of Seoul, Korea south of the Han river ("Gang"+ "nam") where there are lots of glitzy clothing stores and restaurants serving Korean "bulgogi".  The area was made famous by the Korean pop star Psy(cho) and the video: "Gangnam Style," the title of which we incorporated into our little report of this date.

The real question should be: What is Korean barbeque? That's a good question. Most people don't know what Korean BBQ is -- even we the GGP's who just had it and, I suspect, even Koreans themselves!

The phrase "Korean BBQ" was made up by Koreans who live here in the States.   It was a way for Korean restaurant owners to advertise what they were selling. Americans are less likely to understand what "bulgogi" or "bulgalbi" is. Not only is it hard to pronounce, it doesn't even sound good to eat. The phrase "Korean BBQ" fixed all that.  People understood what is was, albeit wrongly, and it sounds pretty good too.

Currently, what most Korean restaurants mean by "Korean BBQ"--and what the Gangnam Grill apparently subscribes to -- is any meat -- beef, pork, chicken, or seafood (squid & shrimp) -- that is marinated in a Korean sauce and cooked over an open fire.  The Gangnam Grill even includes vegetables under Korean BBQ.

I ordered the pork (I cannot pronounce or spell the Korean name) for lunch and was soon brought what seemed like 12 little bowls of various spices, vegetables, chest nuts etc.  Here, a picture is worth a thousand words:

Actually, it was 12 bowls.  Any idea what they are?
(Notice I was not wearing my eye protection)

Although the waiter was very nice and attentive, he did not look Korean and I was pumped up with too much testosterone to ask any questions about what was in the bowls or what I was supposed to do with them.  Fortunately, as I sat there pondering the 12 little bowls, the place began to fill with persons driving Hyundai's and appearing Korean.  A pretty good sign I would say.  My international Squeal Team Six training allowed me to overhear snippets of their conversations in Korean.  I snickered when I caught and translated a comment about me: "Oppa? What's with the little furry dude butchering the chop sticks?"  Of course, I never let on I spoke pigeon Korean and it is true I have a hard time with the sticks.

Anyway, I watched what others were doing trying to determine what I should do but they were mostly women and they were not ordering what I ordered.  I fell back on my training.  Logically, they would not bring out these little dishes before the meat dish for no reason.  So I began trying to eat them although I honestly had no idea what some of them were.  Actually I could only recognize the trusty onions.  Nevertheless, I tried them all and was pleasantly surprised at the variety of flavors--mostly all interesting and pleasant.

The stars of the show: pork, soup and rice on a sizzling platter

In due time the waiter appeared with a sizzling platter of shredded marinated pork and vegetables, with a cup of a tangy soup and little silver bowl of white rice.  Since I had not eaten all that was in the little appetizer bowls, I started mixing in the contents of the bowls with the hot meat and added rice.  The mixture of flavors was refreshing and new to my relatively unsophisticated pallet and very delicious.  For the money, I enjoyed a very fine lunch as I sat in a swanky restaurant looking back across the DMZ into the Gump.

I have double-checked with the trusty Lunch in the Gump crowd on Facebook and several of them have been raving about the place.  Entries on Urban Spoon and Yelp were also positive.  So, after the normal incubation period with no adverse gastronomic effects noted, I can release this report to you as a recommendation to try Korean "BBQ" Gangnam Style.  No animals were harmed during this investigation except for perhaps one pig.

*For more information on the fearless and expendable Squeal Team Six, click here and read the ASPCA Notice below.

"The Fish and the Bird can fall in Love...at Chris' Hot Dogs

Most of you have figured out that this blog is more than a food review.  In its own twisted way, this blog has chronicled the history of Montgomery for the past five years.  One thing you can be sure of about history is that it will change depending on the lens of hindsight.  For example, during 2013 public opinion on gay marriage reached the tipping point and shifted such that I think it is safe to say that prohibitions against same-sex marriages will be viewed in 10-20 years like the laws prohibiting inter-racial marriage of the 60s are today.  The debate will undoubtedly go on despite the current trend but we completely understand that you--our loyal readers--want to know what this paradigm shift means for Lunch in the Gump.

Behind the scenes, we of the Lunch in the Gump gang have for some time been testing and experimenting with non-traditional menu choices at some of our favorite lunch spots.  Here is what we have learned:

Months ago, on a whim we ordered the hot dog at Hamburger King on Decatur Street.  As experimentation goes, this was a disaster.  The jumbo pink dog could not compete with the greasy scion of burger that gives the little hole in the wall its name.  I, frankly, do not know how you can make a hot dog as greasy as a Hamburger King cheeseburger without splitting it in half and deep frying the poor dog until it nearly detonates.  Our advice, stick with the traditional namesake at Hamburger King.

But one anecdotal example does not establish a trend.  While the hamburger joint does not love the hot dog, we have confirmed that it is possible for the hot dog emporium to love the hamburger and make a home.  Our Exhibit A is Chris’ Famous Hot Dogs on Dexter Ave.  Although this family run icon of Montgomery cuisine is internationally known for its hot dogs, just about every regular customer also pairs a cheeseburger with their dog.  The dog and the burger share the “special Chris’ sauce” and steamed buns.  Both are outstanding when enjoyed in moderation (about once a month or quarter depending on the thickness of the lining of your stomach).  So, for you newbies to the Gump, don’t forget to order a cheeseburger at Chris’ Famous Hot Dogs.  People will not look at you like you just came out of the closet and you will be very pleasantly surprised.

What is the first thing you Montgomerians—except the Cornbread Carp—think of when the word “Martins” is spoken?  That’s right: Yard Bird a/k/a fried chicken.  The Carp, of course, thinks of a hot buttery muffin of Martin’s cornbread.  The bird and the cornbread are so good at Martin’s (also family run) that it is hard to break their grip on your gullet.  But some months ago we ordered roast beef at Martin’s Restaurant at the corner of Carter Hill and Narrow Lane. Was the roast beast as good as the bird?  Well, of course it was not.  The bird beats the beast wings down.  But it was good juicy roast beast and it also comes with the fresh and hot cornbread muffins.  They even serve fish there, I have heard.  However, I have never had the guts to order fish in the bird’s nest that is Martin’s.  Stick with the traditional yard bird at Martins and let Sundown East serve up the “Beast” (the Gump’s largest hamburger steak).

Finding a good fish with the bird is troublesome.  For example, the chicken fingers at the Capitol Oyster Bar should remain anonymous.  I know they are only probably there for the kiddies.  We recommend you leave the tasteless globs of chewy chicken to the crumb snatchers who don't care what they put in their mouths (except vegetables) while you drink your frosty PBR, suck down some fresh oysters and listen to great jazz on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

No doubt you all can think of countless other examples of ordering contrary to the traditional lunch conventional wisdom.  Think of it: Bob’s Salad at Dreamland; a rib eye at Wintzell’s; grilled shrimp at the Irish Bred Pub etc. and etc. 

The point is that the fish and the bird can fall in love, even if they may have a heck of a time finding a home.

 

Yours Truly: