Minigumpage: Flames Grille Cafe:' "The Original Taste of the Past"

[CLOSED]

Distraught over the wildfires in California forcing those in the Hollywood Hills to abandon their art collections, I wandered the sidewalks of the Gump today until I looked up and saw a sign that said: "FLAMES Grille Cafe." The karma was too great to overlook so I went with the flow and tentatively peeked inside.

I entered and delved into the questions: "What is 'The Original Taste of the Past'?" and--oh my!-- "What is that funky smell?" I mean, those little pine trees hanging from the rear view mirrors of some cars do not smell as strong as what hit my olfactory glands upon entrance into the Flames Grille Cafe. It certainly was an original odor from the past: The odor reminded me of one of the "smells" the Madison Car Wash years ago wanted to squirt into my clunker for an extra $1.50 and, believe me, it wasn't the "new car" selection. I do not remember the name of the fragrance I received (Some smells are too complex to be given a name) but it must have been something like: "Shag Carpet Pine" or "Apricot Brandy Sloe Gin". Man, you only make that $1.50 mistake one time and when the Flames fragrance hit me it was deja vu for me all over again. At least it was no extra charge.

My thoughts then turned to the Zen of the concept: "Original Taste of the Past." It's really a circular thought--maybe even eliptical--like trying to comprehend infinity. Expecting the menu to provide a glimpse into the owners concept of past tastes available in Montgomery or perhaps in all of human history, I was a little disappointed when the menu showed only hamburgers, chicken sandwiches and tenders, turkey melts, and that old time Montgomery original: The Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich. (You may laugh, but actually the eastern part of downtown was founded as New Philadelphia aka "Yankee Town" by the enigma Andrew Dexter

around 1818). Actually, I don't know how far in the past Flames LLC meant their original taste to run, but everything on the menu seemed pretty contemporary to me unless you consider cheese cake to somehow be a desert from the past.

Other than the fact that the owner was proudly wearing an Auburn baseball hat (karma to the third power), I was prepared to diss the place until my "New Orleans Grilled Chicken Sandwich" arrived with the Jalapenos on the side. It only cost $4.55 and was fresh, spicy and good. The real fries were also hot and covered some red powder that proved tasty. The folks are real nice and you can get in and out pretty fast. I also really appreciated the fact that no one was impolitely staring at my ankle bracelet. Perhaps they understood I was framed. I would have to say I would consider sneaking off work-release to go back there IF they could get rid of the powerful and flowery background smell and tune the TV to anyone other than Andrea Mitchell.

Flames Grille/Cafe is located at 142 Montgomery Street next to and/or across from these blasts from the past: The Elite and Alex Rice. Eat in or take out. And due to the smell, I would recommend you consider doing the latter.

I would rate the place 2.5 squirts of cheese whiz out of 5 Philly Cheese Steaks.

Yours in fine dining,

B.

P.S. All this blogging has finally revealed to me the value of RSS feeds which allow you to automatically retrieve content of your favorite website or blog (such as LITG) without having to go through the usual ways of getting there. Here is how to set up an RSS feed according to one of Bill Gates' minions:To subscribe to a feed, follow these steps:

Go to the webpage that has the feed to which you want to subscribe i.e LITG

Click the Feeds button to discover feeds on the webpage. If the site also has Web Slices, you'll see the Web Slice button instead.

Click a feed (if more than one is available). If only one feed is available, you will go directly to that page.

Click Subscribe to this feed.

Type a name for the feed and select the folder to create the feed in.

Click Subscribe.

Don't we all want to subscribe to be fed? Yes we do. I think I can hear a faint: "Thank you Binion!"

You're welcome.

[Sign on the door August 2011, closed for re-tooling]

Gump on the Go: Scott Street Grocery & Deli

Despite the prevalent pall over the country due to the passing of the "Lyon of the Senate," those who still pay taxes must nevertheless take some time to find sustenance away from trying to make enough to provide health care to those who do not work. For the Gumper on parole (or the poor sap still chained to his desk) one of our best-kept downtown Gumper secrets is the little hole in the wall Scott Street Grocery & Deli. Although there are "NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS" and it appears to project the pretext of being a "grocery," if you avoid eye contact, move slowly toward the right as you come in and know the pass code ("The Italian Please") you will stumble upon a small deli counter from behind which two cute, smiling and fast sandwichista's will immediately begin peppering you with questions you won't hear at Subway like: "Homemade wheat or white?" "Vegetarian or Carnivore?" and "End or middle piece?" But there is one question you will never hear on Scott Street and that is: "For here or to go?" That is because--dear devoted LITG follower--everything at Scott Street is "TO-GO" as there is no place to sit except out in your vehicle while you listen to your favorite radio program profusely shower praise upon the man who gave us HMOs the last time we "fixed" the health care crisis and the Immigration Act of 1968 the last time we "fixed" that problem. But I digress, my right to vote has not yet been restored and my opinion does not count.
The bottom line was that my "Italian" sandwich weighed in at a whopping 24 ounces (I actually weighed it) chock full of meat, cheese and a lot of green stuff with oil on it. Very tasty and, at $6.49 (.27 per oz) quite a bargain. To top it off, they actually have Cokes in the old style little curvy bottles. This place is a real throwback to the days of the little country store. I could almost imagine a couple of old geezers sitting in the corner playing checkers over a cracker barrel farting and bitching about how the Kennedy-Kevorkian Health Care Plan was going to affect their Social Security checks.

If you are in a hurry call 264-9415 and order up one of their fine sandwiches to be picked-up by one of your flunkies. I'd tell you where to go but because I do not want to have to wait a long time for my next "Italian" I have intentionally avoided disclosing the exact street where this wonderful deli is located and would appreciate it if you would keep this info "down home cuz."

I ate the whole thing and went into Rigor Puppus...