Baumhower's at RSA - Pleasantly Stunned

At last, a Lunch in the Gump review about food.
Well, sort of.

Baumhower's opens at the new RSA Imperial Palace Headquarters

Last week Fat Clemenza, Norm Peterson, Tojo Yamamoto and I decided to check out the new Baumhower's in the palatial RSA Building up on Goat Hill. It's at the intersection of South Union Street and Adams Avenue (see above). If you get to a pro-bingo protest mob, you've gone too far.

It turns out that before Norm became Cliff Clavin's drinking buddy, he was a noted restaurateur and real estate tycoon who knows Bob Baumhower, the Crimson Tide and Miami Dolphin great who owns this chain.* Anyway, Norm blabbed our true identities and before you could say "conflict of interest," the Lunch in the Gump boys were having lunch with a 6-time Pro Bowl nose tackle, sampling the new menu, meeting the chef, being waited on hand and foot, generally shooting the shit with the big boss and... getting the check comped by old #73 himself.

The following is a completely unbiased and objective review of this SUPERB new restaurant.

We arrived expecting nothing more than the rock-solid, reliable pub food we've come to expect from Baumhower's over the years. Bob is a veteran who has been at this gig since 1981 when he and then-partner Phillip (Dream) Weaver opened a great little wing joint across from the Sigma Nu house in Tuscaloosa. Now he's got 'em all over.

Understand that I'm a born and bred Alabamian, but I must confess that Louisiana is my favorite state. I never lived there, but I visit all the time because I enjoy the following: drinking to excess, shooting ducks, catching big fish, listening to great music, losing money in casinos, and going to Baton Rouge in even-numbered years to watch the Crimson Tide stomp some Bengal Tiger ass. Oh, and hearing Cajun people talk.

I like Louisiana because "let's have a look at those ta-tas" can be an acceptable greeting down there sometimes.

Most of all, though, I like Louisiana because of the food. I get all misty-eyed when I recall the scallops from my last trip to Bayona, the turtle soup at Commander's, the three-hour lunches at Galatoire's, a muffuleta from Central Grocery or a debris omelet from Mother's. Now, thankfully, there are two places in the Gump (Baumhower's and Lunde's on Montgomery Street) that can tide you over until you point that pickup truck south and get back down there.

Baumhower's has a new, slightly more upscale menu and a young head chef, Steve Zucker, who is a disciple of Louisiana culinary legend John Folse (left). As anybody familiar with Louisiana food and football lingo will tell you, Emeril Lagasse couldn't tote John Folse's jock strap. We tried several of the new menu items at Baumhower's and found them to be good representations of the Folse style, richly flavorful, simple, and without all that ridiculous BAM!! bullshit (I use many of Folse's classic recipes at home, and if you simply do what John says, you ain't gotta "kick it up" at all). I've had a number of the cajun/creole standbys at Baumhower's and found them all to be real good, particularly given the reasonable prices. The shrimp etouffee is special, maybe even up to Jubilee standards (when they have it). If you've ever been to any of his other places, like Mango's in pre-hurricane Orange Beach, you know Baumhower is serious about quality. I guess Bob would stomp a mudhole in a slacker chef, but that's just speculation on my part.

You can usually tell if a place is serious by its gumbo. Making a decent gumbo is hard work, and it's pretty easy to tell if any corners are being cut (like at a certain other place recently opened in downtown Gump). Baumhower's serves a dark roux sausage and chicken gumbo that's worth remembering. It's not too thick and it's seasoned like Baby Bear's Porridge -- just right. Be careful, though. You do not want to get any on your head, because your tongue will beat your brains out trying to get at it.   

The new menu still has a mostly Caribbean flair in addition to the cajun/creole stuff. Foodies are always quick to point out that Caribbean cuisine is a big influence on the creole style. I tell them to shut up and eat their food or else talk about football or women or bidness like regular people do. And don't say "cuisine."

Like I said, your Baumhower favorites and old reliables are mostly still on the menu, and everybody I've talked to seems to like the place. The prices are reasonable (I think they are still running some grand opening specials, so hurry before Bronner raises the rent). There's a full bar in case you need a couple of pops before heading home. Norm, for example, likes to get well-fortified before he has to face Vera for the nightly cussfight.

I do have one small gripe -- I counted only 20 or so giant TVs, which makes me wonder, how in the hell is a guy supposed to drink beer and watch March Madness during bidness hours with that paltry number of flat screens? Maybe they've got some on back order.

Clemenza tried to buy lunch for our group, but must have sensed that the owner was about to comp the whole deal. Nice head fake there, Clemenza (they are cunning, the Sicilians). Tojo must have liked it because he just kind of smiled and patted his belly.

Norm was test-driving bar stools when I left.

Well anyway, that's the unbiased objective arm's length fair and balanced review. I am glad we got this out to the loyal readers with our journalistic integrity intact.**

* Since Baumhower's is an Alabama-based chain, the new location at the RSA Building is therefore Gump-eligible.

** Note to Gump area restaurateurs: see what a free lunch gets you? Yep. You get your butt kissed on the World Wide Web.

Originally posted on http://www.lunchinthegump.com/

Etouffee. Done properly, right up there with great sex and college football.

Lunch in the Gump: El Paso Chili Cafe

Lunch in the Gump tends to patronize joints, preferring casual dump ambience to the fru-fru trappings of those white wine-sipping sissy food emporiums where all the fatcats like to gather when The Club is closed on Mondays. We Gumpers like our lunch greasy and we like it served up hot and fast, and we don't want it on a bed of cous-cous or with a layer of mango chutney on top. And it better be reasonable, because that lunch money didn't just fall out of our asses. Lunch in the Gump and the Lucky Sperm Club ain't got any overlapping membership. We don't want our vegetables pureed into baby food and we like regular old Morton's salt, for crying out loud, we don't want any damn sea salt and it and if it's steamed we want to know, well, couldn't you have deep-fried the sonofabitch? Or if it's a vegetable and you didn't cook it for at least three hours with a ham hock in there, then what in the hell was going through your feeble mind? Sheesh.

And just who do you think built this great country of ours? A bunch of mixed green eaters? Vegans? What got this country off its ass when it was stuck east of the Mississippi? Chili, that's what. The national dish of Texas and at the El Paso Chili Cafe they've got good chili, and you ought to go there and eat some.

We had a decent crowd of gumpers today, Binion, Show Dog, Matlock, He-Who-Has-No-Nickname, Bo Diddley, Tojo Yamamoto and yours truly. At El Paso you can get chili by itself or you can get stuff in your chili. Or you can get stuff other than chili and they'll put chili on it. Me? I had 'em add chopped onions and some kind of cheese to my chili. A couple of others had chili dogs and chili burgers and chili cheeseburgers and somebody even had chili fries. Although I didn't see it on the menu, I am sure you can get chili cheese fries with onions if you've got the cojones to ask.

Gumpers do not like to fart around at lunch. We like to catch up on the local gossip, eat and get going because we got things to do. But El Paso lays the hay right down there where the goats can get it:

You've got to respect that. If you are in a hurry, go to McDonald's and get you a frozen little wimp-ass burger. At El Paso, if you wait a few minutes you can get one of these:

BamaBing!'s phone has a crappy camera, but you get the idea. Note that this bad boy had to be cut in half. Binion asked for some lemon for his tea and although he didn't get any real lemons, he did get a shitload of ReaLemon.

The El Paso Chili Cafe is on the Eastern Bypass, but on the west side of the Eastern Bypass over by Lagoon Park, therefore inside the bypass so there were no parole violations.

The "Beast" at Sundown East

Not actual size

Once you get past being greeted by a hostess picking her teeth, the double-wide decor and the double-wides stuffed in the "Harley-Davidson" wife-beater t-shirt donned by your waitress, the LITG Gang consensus is that the Sundown East in the Forest Hills Shopping Center provides one of the best lunches for the money in the Gump especially if you order "The Beast".

The Tower of Terror

"The Beast" is the 1/2 pound hamburger steak smothered in gravy and onions that--with "The Works" (Swiss cheese and something else fattening)--can satisfy the most ravenous post-Aquapalooza hunger pangs. Substituting a salad (lettuce, onions and tomatoes only) for the fries you almost touch all the four food groups: (1) ground meat; (2) green stuff; (3) bread; and (4) gravy.

It should be noted that Henry Gates, Jr. (the Harvard Professor recently falsely accused of disorderly conduct because he yelled that he would "Do Yo Momma" to a Cambridge Cop) might not feel as welcome here as the Irish Catholic members of LITG, but if you like the infield at Talladega, you should fit right in.

I would rate the food at 3 toothpicks.

Value-wise, this is a real find: Only about 20 shares of GM (Motors Liquidation Company) (which is less than $10 bucks) will get you The Beast with The Works and a glass of tea.

Parking is easy and service is fast. Door to door from downtown in one hour or less.

Montgomery Brewing Company (ho-hum)

[Ed Note: In October 2010, the Montgomery Brewing Company announced they were closing for renovations.  Since then, no work has apparently been done.  It is now December 21, 2010 and it appears the MBC is finito.  Perhaps the following blog foretold the problem....]

I think the LITG crowd was underwhelmed by the Brew Pub. You folks better get off your butt.

I ordered a "Brew Pub Club," with a cup of gumbo, which, according to the menu, was supposed to be $8.50 http://www.montgomerybrewpub.com/Lunch.html . They got the gumbo out real quick (good), but I had to ask for tabasco & crackers (bad). The gumbo itself was flavorful, but the consistency of jello, so it came out of the cup in two bites. I didn't find a shrimp in there, but then again I didn't look real hard to begin with. Then my "Brew Pub Club" comes out. It was pretty much like anybody else's club: no better, no worse. Maybe a tad soggier. There were some non-extraordinary fries. All-in-all, about what you'd expect for $8.50, plus I'm thinking maybe $1.50 for the weak unsweet tea, tax & tip.

This ordinary lunch should've been about $13.00 bucks total, BUT NO! Apparently I wasn't specific enough that I wanted the club sandwich/cup of gumbo COMBO! Because of the aforesaid non-extraordinary fries, I got the Brew Pub Club ($7.50, but with fries!), plus a couple bites of tasty but pasty gumbo ($3.95), plus tea ($1.50... oops, sorry... not so fast! $2.25!!!) for a total of $15.07 pre-tip.

I'm no whiner, so I ponied up, left a $2.93 tip, or 21.4% of the pre-tax check (our service was real good, and LITG never stiffs hard-working waitpersons). So anyway, that was $18.00 for lunch... the WORST bang for the buck in LITG history (with the exception of that new hotel, maybe). The last time I spent so much for lunch in Montgomery was at Nancy Paterson's and I left there very satisfied.

$18.00 lunch = 30 shares of CNB common as of 7/20/09

Food = 2.5 biscuits
Service = 3 biscuits
Value = 1 biscuit