New Slogans for a few of Montgomery's Night Spots

We at LITG think every local bar should have an honest-to-goodness slogan to let patrons know exactly what they're getting into. With that being said:

Pine Bar - Young attorney's gotta have somewhere to drink too!

LeRoy's - Wanna go to a bar in a storage room and order a beer you've never heard of?

Rock Bottom - Looking for somewhere to wear your new Affliction shirt?

1048 - When those 12 steps just didn't take.

Bud's - When you're pretentious enough for Pine Bar, but Daddy hasn't hired you at his law firm yet.

El Rey's - Nothing goes with morning "beer runs" like an $18 burrito!

The Exchange - Winter: God, it's FREEZING out here! Can't wait for summer! Summer: God, it's SWELTERING out here! Can't wait for winter!

Stuckey's - Your weed guy is here.

SandBAR - Too cheap to go out of town but still want to pretend you did?

Sous La Terre - Good LORD, are you still out?!?

The Blue Iguana - When you're too classy to drink in a bowling alley, but too drunk to leave.

Aviator Bar - Because Air Force plebs need assistance from the decor to act cool.

Club Liquids - Because you want to dance like a fool and get applauded for it.

La Jolla - Pretend to be cool, try to forget you're drinking at the mall.

AlleyBAR - We could be cool, but hey, it's Montgomery; why put up the effort?

Head on the Door - Remember us? Not really? Well, we're still here!

The Tipping Point - I know the sun is still out but it's closing time, get the kids.

--Thanks to LITG Facebook stalwarts: Robbie and Erik Poole

New Taco Beer Buffet at AlleyBAR

"OUTRAGEOUS HAPPY HOUR PRICING
$1 domestic beer / $2 well drinks
FREE Appetizers
4 until 8 p.m. EVERY DAY
The season is changing and so is Happy Hour at AlleyBAR !!!! Gone are the dog days of Summer and crisp Autumn afternoons are ahead. Join your friends as our big doors swing wide and the bar and the Alley become one. Enjoy a cold Bud Light, Miller Lite, Mic Ultra, Coors Light, PBR, Yuengling, Bud or High Life at an unbeatable price of one measly Washington and well drinks for only a pair. AND......look for other daily drink specials as well as promotions from the world famous Frozen Shot Room ! Chef Kyle will be serving up tasty appetizers from atop the oaken barrels......on the house ! AlleyBAR is your new HAPPY HOUR destination."

The food bar and last thing I remember.

Got the e-mail above yesterday about 4 p.m.

Just made it back to the trailer on the lushtrolly ...or was it a friend who drove me? Well, nevermind. Managed to get my computer to come on and just had to write about this new happy hour deal at Alley B......urrrrrp (excuse me)......BAR. They have tallboy PB...urrrrpppp...(sorry) Rs for a buck! Served by a tall boy by the way, but a buck! A b....urrrrppppp! (Sorry man) A freakin' buck!

(Where is my wallet?)

And...yes...they have food. Free food. No incredihorrible stuff but wraps and things like that. Cheese. You know, things girls like to eat when they are on a diet. I like cheese.

Sooo....(where is my cellphone?)...I think you should go... there. Ride the drunk trolly from Old Gumperdale, mingle. Go after work, if you have a job, and (excuse me).....

(What happened to that twenty I put in my pocket?)

I'm not feeling soo good. I feel fantastishitty. Anyone got any aspirinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[Ed. Note: The blog trailed off at this point and we can only guess that it represents the Carp's head on the keyboard. We edited-out the thousands of lines of "n" that followed.]