No Bread in the House

We proud Gump Guinea Pigs have seen a lot of strange things in the service of Lunch in the Gump fans.  We've taken gastronomic risks no patrons of lunch fare should have to endure.  We've been starved, sat upon and thrown out on our ears. But the last thing we expected to face when a squad was sent in to sample the chicken salad sandwiches offered by "The House of Bread" in Old Alabama Town was they were out of wheat bread by 12:15.  Yes, you read that right: No bread at House of Bread.

House of No Bread
(Photo from Montgomery Advertiser)

Normally we discount anecdotal accounts of the foibles of new restaurants because we all know a very good restaurant can have a bad day or a bad meal or two.  But "House of Bread" has been open about four months now and not only did they have no wheat bread, they ran out of the chicken salad after serving one of the GGP's this tiny portion--a mere melon ball scoop--of chicken salad with three packs of saltines.  At least, because they originally thought they were going to be able to serve us a sandwich, there was a bag of chips included which, as you can see below, was devoured before the entree arrived.

A daub of chicken salad with a few leaves of lettuce and three small tomatoes.
(Photo from secret GGP iPhone)

The chicken salad was more finely ground up than we usually see in restaurants this day and age but what was of it available was tasty for the three bites it supplied. The "unsweet" tea was also good although it came pre-sweetened.  It was a good thing one of the squad tasted it first or he would have enjoyed super-sweet tea.

All in all it was not an auspicious performance. But, that is what the GGP's are here for: checking places out and twitching their noses.  On the bright side, the building is quaint, the waitstaff is willing and the menu offers traditional light lunch fare. I understand the catering side of the business is what propelled them to open for lunch.  We emphasize this is only one visit and one item ordered.  We believe it is worth a visit to see if others catch them on a better day.  For a more favorable reviews click here or there. The location is, at the very least, an interesting place to visit.

Lunch is Served in Gump Central

Finally! We have a true replacement for The Elite where you can enjoy fine dining for lunch in the Gump: Central at 129 Coosa. I know that is saying something, especially to those of you old enough to have actually experienced a business lunch at The Elite. And I also know I am very fond of the Olive Room. But I dare say I do not exaggerate when I say that Central is a very good choice for a lunch with clients and colleagues because it has some interesting spaces that can provide various levels of appropriate privacy with attentive service and an interesting selection of variously-priced entrees.

Why, just the other day I was invited to lunch with a group of financiers to discuss why I was wanting to teach my loans to roll-over when my dog was not house-broken. They were kind to include lunch as part of the cordial reminder that eventually you have to pay your debts back (or resign yourself to the status of a nare do well like Whiggin Blanket).  By the way, that reminds me of an e-mail response from a listener who was a former navy seaman who took offense at some comment to the effect that Congressional Republicans spend money like "drunken sailors" and Congressional Democrats would spend  money like "drunken sailors on crack."  His point was well made when he wrote: "I take offense at the comparison of Congress to drunken sailors. At least even we drunken sailors stopped spending when we ran out of money."  I, your humble servant, have taken heed that I need to stop spending but, as we are wont to do, I digress.

The point of all of this was that Central is now open for lunch and I enjoyed a very fine lunch there.  I had the Central version of a gyro sandwich which is actually called a grilled chicken pita with feta cheese, tabouli and a Greek vinaigrette ($10).

(For the correct pronunciation of Gyro see this link.)

My only possible complaint pertains to the portions. Notice the New York City style portions and glasses. Anyone heard of what NYC is trying to do about portions? Perhaps you like the idea, but I, for one, am squarely against a city telling me what size portions my favorite restaurant can serve food and non-alcoholic beverages. Why, I would never want a 42-ounce tankard of Diet Dr. Pepper, but by goodness I have and do occasionally want the chance to devour a 42-ounce sirloin and win a free meal.  Again, at Central recently my meal was delicious and well-prepared.  My only constructive criticism would be for Central to enlarge the luncheon portions. I must of consumed six glasses of water where one larger glass would have probably sufficed. Not asking them to "Super Size Me," mind you.  I am just suggesting a larger water glass, a few more vegetables in the side dish and a pita that can hold a few more ounces of chicken. "Just saying" as you natives and Josh Moon say.

You see, I just don't buy the idea that the government needs to be involved in my dietary choices in a free lunch market. If you believe government should do something about the fact we are the fattest people on earth then just tax the fatties by the pound and it will all work out in the marketplace!  Ooops.  Did I step over the line a bit there?  Well, if I have offended any of you "Biggest Loser-Types," I humbly apologize because I know your life choices are actually the fault of the city's failure to regulate the number of french fries you can sneak off from work and order at the Wendy's drive-thru between your five other normal feedings. At least, that is what they say in enlightened New York City. Today it is no sodas over 32-ounces. What's next: No triple Whoppers? No extra mayo? Gee, thank you Mayor Bloomberg.  Who said Republicans don't like expanding the role of government? Leave the fatties alone. Sock it to the thin. And lunch at Central!

Don't blow a gasket over the portions (and mind your head at Central).