The Cheese at the End of the Rainbow

A small reconnaissance squad and myself unwittingly journeyed outside the bypass on that warm Saturday where the rain let up and the temperature got bearable. My force, usually more disciplined than their lemming cousins, was undoubtedly led out of the gump proper by the presence of an elusive DOUBLE RAINBOW!

This guy knows what's up

We followed the rainbow to its shocking source: the Tipping Point at Hampstead. And what might you ask was at the end of the rainbow????? Pimento Cheese and flatbread!

Ahh yes, cheese, the great motivator for rats, mice, and guinea pigs alike. But this cheese wasn't at the end of some researcher's maze, it was at nice outdoor bar/dining/sitting area with those cool garage door thingies you normally see at trendy bars out in Texas. The weather was perfect for soaking up the sun (we guinea pigs rarely go outside the lab), chatting with the squadmates, and blowing off some serious guinea pig steam (eating chicken vandaloo at India Palace is more stressful than you think). .After enjoying all the cheese I could eat (and an oat soda or two that had spilled on the floor) and witnessing the polite service from folks who may have hung out with double rainbow guy, we returned to the inner gump: happy, cheese- filled, and stress free. Was the pimento cheese a lure to trap the GGP crew outside of its comfort zone? Maybe so, but it was the most relaxing trap this pig has ever been caught in!

I have submitted my report to the LITG higher ups. It recommends a full service attack to try the cheese (the post-up was immaculate), the fancy hot dogs, and an oat soda...dude.

Squeak-Stay Hungry

Gump Guinea Pig Raid Goes South at Bombay Masala



Things went "South" quickly...and loosely.



We Were Guinea Pigs Once....and Young.

(AP--Montgomery) Wikileaks, the international non-profit organization that publishes submissions of private, secret, and classified media from anonymous news sources and news leaks and its pedophile founder Julian Assange, is at it again. Recently, WikiLeaks released excerpts of a Top Secret Report to the LITG Secret Committee (and they know who they are) concerning what appears to be a disastrous raid conducted by the "Elite and Expendable" Gump Guinea Pigs just outside the Gump at Bombay Masala in early January 2011. According to the report, two of the members of C-Company (Cooper Company) of the GGP suffered  gastronomical distress following a visit at Bombay Massala in early January barely making it back to the extraction point and then to GGP headquarters. Fortunately, the two commandos appear to have survived and have been declawed and debriefed.

The existence of the GGP commandos was only recently made public on the LITG blog. It is not clear when LITG intended to release official information concerning the raid. However, the secret report did suggest giving the Bombay Masala luncheon buffet a wide berth and ordering from the menu if avoidance was not available as an option. Indeed, the "Chicken" Vandaloo was suspected for what appeared to be an urgent need for emergency lavatory time by the entire C-Company team. Lavatory visits are referred to as "Posting Up" in the report. What that means is unclear. Perhaps it is some form of secret code.

A classified photo of the GGP commandos was also included in the Wikileaks post. It is believed to show the C-Company and their leader known only as "Squeak."  The other members of C-Company were not identified.

Top Secret photo of C-Company in happier times...

  

Apparently, as if things could not go worse, the GGP commandos experienced transportation/extraction problems that contributed to casualties.

A representative of LITG, Tojo Yamamoto, decried the publication of the secret report by Assange's Wikileaks adding: "Tojo make pretzel of girly man Assange... but he might like.  Tojo just fume."

Assange was unavailable for comment.