Gump Dynasty: Chophouse Vintage Year

Call me "Lamb Commander!"

[Ed. Note 9/4/2014: We sadly announce we have learned the Vintage Year closed. Hopefully it will reopen soon.]

My Robertson cousins from Louisiana (who have a TV show I think is called "Duck Dynasty") visited me last weekend while they were meeting with Buckmaster Jackie Bushman and Willie Robertson said they wanted to take me to dinner "Somewhere's nyace."  I decided to think outside the swamp and began to pick the place that would impress these yahoos with its fine cuisine. Why? Because they were paying and there is no place in the Gump where you can get squirrel brains (their favorite delicacy) and I am not fond of frog legs (their second favorite food).  My choice was Chophouse Vintage Year, long a favorite of the LITG gang.  In fact, I had last dined there when we met to divvy up our ad revenue from Google Ad-Sense which paid for one appetizer.

I guess I was not prepared for what happened after Willie called.  You see, I did not know Si and Phil would be there along with Jace. Normally, cousins Si and Phil don't like to leave the swamp and Jace is always hunting. I thought Willie, with his MBA and country club memberships, would be able to fit in quite well at VY, despite his "mountain man" beard, bandanna and cammo blazer. But I feared Si and Phil in cammo might give other diners the wrong impression i.e. that they were swamp people instead of self-made duck call millionaires. Well, actually, they are both. But that is another story.

In any event, our waiter "Will" was very professional despite having to field questions like: "Got any squirrel?" or comments like: "My favorite part is the head."  Of course, there was the usual banter about being poor country guys not knowing which forks to use and ribbing me about how I had forgotten where I came from. When Will reviewed the specials, the "Berkshire Porterhouse Pork Chop" garnered a few giggles from the Robertsons. "Berkshire Hathaway pork chops?," Jace asked.  "They should be on the Buffet (which he pronounced Buff-Ett)."  They giggled like rubes that probably own several shares of BH stock.

Willie, smiled and said, "No you uneducated dope.  Berkshire pork is what they call Kurobuta pork. Its from the oldest known pig breed: the Berkshire. It is not like white pork but is more marbled like steak."

Si added with a straight face, "There's two kind of people in this world: the educated and the 'unducated.'"

The Filet Commander with "cake"

However, when the dust settled Si ordered the steak and cake (filet and crab cake), Jace ordered the Berkshire Pork chop, Phil ordered the Snapper and I ordered the lamb special (shown above). the three generous lamb chops were served on a bed of green stuff on top of potatoey stuff that tasted like butter stuff. Together It was outstanding and cooked medium rare just as I ordered.  I shared a bite with Jace and Si and they admitted I had out-ordered them this time.

Si on Ninja Beavers.

The boys actually minded their manners and Willie showed some prowess with the wine list pairings for the entres. I particularly liked the Silver Oak he selected for me.

As we ate Si, Phil and Jace regailed me with the "Showdown at the Beaver Corral" they had just conducted and imparted to me some of their best pieces of advice and other swamp witticisms. For example, Phil remarked: "You need to be able to take a leak in your yard without someone saying "Hey, what's he doing?'" And Si, seeing my car outside opined: "First it's pretty tires, then it's pretty guns....the next thing you know you're shaving your beard and wearing Capri slacks."

They ate rather fast and I asked Phil what was the rush. He held up the wrong fork, smiled and told me: "When you don't know what you're doing, its best to do it quickly."

Phil on Bees and Women.

Despite their ragged appearances, these Robertsons know good food and they raved about Chophouse Vintage Year.  They even signed a few autographs, which surprised me because I doubted anyone who frequented the VY would also watch Duck Dynasty.  It is wonderful when two worlds converge in harmony over finely cooked steak, pork and lamb with brain cells marinated in a fine Cabernet. I thought to myself, why even Whiggin Blanket and Chase N. Allpots would have enjoyed this dinner and perhaps a chuckle or two.

Although my guests are the "Duck Commanders," Friday night, with the help of Chef Skelly at Gump Dynasty Vintage Year, I was the "Lamb Commander."

Quack, quack!

The Snappermaster