A few quotable quotes from all of the Lunch in the Gump reviewers...
On the lingering aroma of Hamburger King:
“Here's the thing about the smell. I’ve washed my hands twice and I can still smell it. It permeates my office. I think I could boil my tie right now and make Hamburger King Soup, and that it would be good soup.”
On the seafood gumbo at Montgomery Brewing Company:
“I didn't find a shrimp in there, but then again I didn't look real hard for one.”
On the waitress at the Wagon Wheel:
“She had me at ‘How ‘bout I bring y'all a basket of cornbread and rolls to work on 'til the rest of your friends get here?’"
On the lack of VIP treatment at the Wagon Wheel:
“The owner apparently was not told of our presence or he surely would have greeted us, advised us of the appropriate menu items to order and then comped the meal.”
On the overpriced gruel at the Renaissance:
“I almost called "dine & dash" on that one.”
On the ambience of Sundown East:
“If you like the infield at Talladega, you should fit right in.”
On the waitress at Sundown East:
“You wouldn't take her home to your mama... but then again she probably wouldn't take you home to hers.”
On the “vegetable plate” at Derk’s Filet & Vine:
“By the time my plate is piled with mac & cheese and fried okra, the theory behind the vegetable plate is shot.”
On Dreamland:
“I am glad it is open on Mondays and is close to my work-release location.”
On the lingering aroma of Hamburger King:
“Here's the thing about the smell. I’ve washed my hands twice and I can still smell it. It permeates my office. I think I could boil my tie right now and make Hamburger King Soup, and that it would be good soup.”
On the seafood gumbo at Montgomery Brewing Company:
“I didn't find a shrimp in there, but then again I didn't look real hard for one.”
On the waitress at the Wagon Wheel:
“She had me at ‘How ‘bout I bring y'all a basket of cornbread and rolls to work on 'til the rest of your friends get here?’"
On the lack of VIP treatment at the Wagon Wheel:
“The owner apparently was not told of our presence or he surely would have greeted us, advised us of the appropriate menu items to order and then comped the meal.”
On the overpriced gruel at the Renaissance:
“I almost called "dine & dash" on that one.”
On the ambience of Sundown East:
“If you like the infield at Talladega, you should fit right in.”
On the waitress at Sundown East:
“You wouldn't take her home to your mama... but then again she probably wouldn't take you home to hers.”
On the “vegetable plate” at Derk’s Filet & Vine:
“By the time my plate is piled with mac & cheese and fried okra, the theory behind the vegetable plate is shot.”
On Dreamland:
“I am glad it is open on Mondays and is close to my work-release location.”
Punch line of Auburn joke told by Corsino’s waiter:
“Officer, I’m just trying to help this goat get over this fence!”
On the Italian sub at Scott Street Grocery & Deli:
“The resulting prize was approximately the size of a nerf football.”
Also: “It weighed in at a whopping 24 ounces (I actually weighed it).”
On the service at Bandana’s:
“The server was friendly and sufficiently attentive (but not in a creepy-please-stop-invading-my-personal-space way).”
From a less-than-glowing review of Peyton’s Place:
“I’ve already forgotten how to get there.”
On why it is hard to eat a Deluxe Cheeseburger from Hamburger King:
“The structure can’t support its own weight. It is a gastronomic wonder, but an engineering catastrophe. And it's slippery.”
“Officer, I’m just trying to help this goat get over this fence!”
On the Italian sub at Scott Street Grocery & Deli:
“The resulting prize was approximately the size of a nerf football.”
Also: “It weighed in at a whopping 24 ounces (I actually weighed it).”
On the service at Bandana’s:
“The server was friendly and sufficiently attentive (but not in a creepy-please-stop-invading-my-personal-space way).”
From a less-than-glowing review of Peyton’s Place:
“I’ve already forgotten how to get there.”
On why it is hard to eat a Deluxe Cheeseburger from Hamburger King:
“The structure can’t support its own weight. It is a gastronomic wonder, but an engineering catastrophe. And it's slippery.”
LITG Haiku:
ReplyDeleteOnions and cheese,
greasy meat and soggy bun:
my burger bites back.
Shadow Pup, go hump somebody's leg. Also, I hear you (or was it Darla?) smelled relatives in the Asia Bistro dumpster.
ReplyDeleteAnother good quote about the rooster at Corsinos:
ReplyDelete"Two words, Belle: Chicken Parm."
Re the waiter @ Corsino's punch-line:
ReplyDeleteExact quote of an Alabama Phi most of you know... when caught by cops, whilst cavorting around nefariously with Joe Duffy, back in their hay-day, I guess you could say...
A review that was sent to me I thought you might like.
ReplyDelete"I feel compelled to give a heads up to my friends about the above referenced restaurant. I would not driven 12 miles one way to try the place had I not read a glowing review in the Montgomery Advertiser. The review raved about the vegetables "fresh from the farmers' market." Simply, this is BS. Neither puffery nor hype, but an out and out lie. There wasn't a fresh vegetable in the house except cabbage and I'm not sure that counts since it isn't available any other way. Frozen butterbeans, canned corn, instant potatoes and brown gravy mix. The green beans, I think, were frozen but may have been canned. Ditto the turnip greens. The fried squash reeked of old grease and had been held so long I couldn't tell whether it had started out the morning fresh or frozen. All vegetables were unseasoned. The fried chicken tasted good. The leg was the size of a buffalo wing and the thigh was three bites. I'm serious, the whole bird wouldn't have dressed out at a pound and a half. $8 for a meat and two or a four vegetable plate. The chairs were uncomfortable, the parking erratic and the background noise deafening. The two tops were jammed together (think Martin's without the excellent cornbread) and the aisles obstructed with walkers and canes (a possible explanation for the parking.) There was a nostalgic moment when I saw the little three partition Bakelite plates for the first time since grammar school. The service was super-efficient and coupled with the small portions allows you to be finished in 10 minutes. Bon Appétit!"
That's Farmhouse Kitchen at Hampstead btw.
ReplyDeleteAnnon: Whomever wrote the above needs to be a contributor to this site. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI am considering a battlefield promotion for "Anonymous." That's a scathing review that made me chuckle too. BTW, those are my sentiments exactly re FHK.
ReplyDelete