This better be temporary or I will go postal.
BE BACK
MAY 3RD
What gives? Seeking grease infusion therapy at lunch today naturally led to a desire for the famous Hamburger King "Widowmaker." Alas, upon arriving at the little hole in the wall on Decatur Street there were no signs of life and a terse sign, in block red letters screaming: "BE BACK MAY 3RD" All caps. No exclamation point. No period. Absolutely no punctuation at all. Totally punctuation-less. I mean, as you can see, "BE BACK MAY 3RD" was all there was. Unlike Gen. McArthur's vow to return to the Philippines with an egotisitical "I Shall Return!" the persons who posted this sign probably meant something plural. But, unlike McArthur, these ballsy owners stated a date (assuming they mean 2010). Very confident and certain. But comforting? Hardly. Especially to those poor HK junkies I saw in the noon shadows looking weak and gaunt (as if overweight people can ever look gaunt in one day of fasting). But what has really happened?
Does this mean: "(We Hope to) BE BACK MAY 3RD"? or "(We Will Definitely) BE BACK MAY 3RD?" Does it refer to us? "(You Should) BE BACK MAY 3RD"? Enquiring Minds Want to Know. Is this a vacation or an OSHA imposed respite from grease-saturated air for the staff? Is this a vacation or a chance to fumigate the premises? Is this a vacation or a chance to reload the meat? (Please don't let the feds touch that grill surface!) "Enquiring" minds and growling stomachs need to know!! We hope for the former and fear the latter. I mean who other than a fat cat corporate exec with a golden parachute has a vacation lasting a month? Is there some sickness in the family or some tragedy? Heaven forbid.
All I know is that if the HK closing lasts longer than May 2nd, then the Recession Officially Sucks! Don't know about you but we will be in line on the 3rd and the grease better flow or "(We will) BE PISSED MAY 4TH"--BIG TIME! And I am a postal worker who can afford to add an exclamation point!
As Col. Kurtz so succinctly put it in Apocalypse Now... the horror... the horror.
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, I can probably peel off five pounds or so by May 3.
OK, people, let’s try to remain calm. I don’t think there are enough cardiologists in Montgomery to handle the outbreak that would occur if we all gave in to a group panic. Perhaps there is a simple explanation. Perhaps there has merely been an equipment failure, and – unlike some other restaurants in town – HK refused to rent a “spare” and unabashedly stick it in the parking lot while waiting for a new one.
ReplyDeleteWe must sit tight, say our prayers, and try to keep the faith. Lord knows some of us could probably use a little fasting period; we certainly have enough in reserves.
But if May 3 comes and goes without a resurrection, and we must resort to drastic measures, I vote that we eat Tojo first. There should be enough meat on dem bones for all!
Tojo refuse to waste away. Hara-kiri for Tojo if Hamburger King close for good.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason your site has slowed down a TON since you switched formats.
ReplyDeleteIan... I removed the "slide show" gadget, which may be the culprit. We need to keep this thing simple! Thanks for the input and let me know if it's any faster. I can't really tell from my end because my computer sucks butt.
ReplyDeleteCalm down, all! They have just gone on vacation! Ate lunch there last Friday and overheard the wife talking to some customers about the trip they were going on, and how they were closing down HK for several weeks so they could take this vacation. Well deserved, I'd say.
ReplyDeleteI know y'all said honorary but I thought I was going to get to eat...
ReplyDeleteTuesday - Our leadership is terrible. I smell a regime change.
ReplyDeleteSorry to say it is still kind of slow. But that's ok. It is still readable, etc. and that is the important part.
ReplyDeleteDo you all know when the new places in the alley are opening? Also, when is the school opening in the old bank? I am especially interested in the italian ice place and the new jazz place. thanks!
Ian:
ReplyDeleteHeard today the Dreamland owner is in negotiations with the Alley Station owners to open a deli over by Sa-Zas. Meeting is next week.