Rumor Gumbo in the Gumpo

The Latest Poop:

If you haven't noticed, this is an internet blog run by real people with fake names about things that interest us. We have become the world's most popular and widely read blog specializing in eating lunch within the by-pass of Montgomery, Alabama, a/k/a "The Gump." We did not become the "No. 1 Blog" on Urban Spoon by sticking to the facts like gravy on a biscuit. Occasionally, we simply make stuff up to have fun. We pull legs and pulleybones. We digress. We embellish. We photoshop. We play jokes and we repeat rumors. So, with that warning, here is the latest in the Gump Rumor Gumbo:

Nancy Patterson's: Looks like work in Zelda Place is feverishly proceeding in the old Klein's location on their combination pizza place and fine dining restaurant working out of the same kitchen. Supposedly, the pizza place will be opening by May 1 with the fine dining side coming on line later. Over a billion dollars was spent renovating the place with a grant from the Intermediate Business Administration and a bond issue underwritten by Goldman Sachs. This looks for real. How you work two disparate restaurant themes from the same kitchen is going to be fun to watch. About as fun as watching the cooks yell at each other at Sa-Zas. Of course, after we posted The Advertiser printed their article. Late as usual.

Chappy's Deli--Word on the street is that Chappy's will no longer sell sandwich trays for wakes, funerals or mediations as they want to shake the "Bad News Tray" designation it has earned among wags in the Gump. "Everything in Moderation" they say. Even a Chappy's sandwich tray gets old after about a hundred times in a year--all associated with sadness or pains in the arse. So, if after about a month you get a hankering for another Chappy's tray, don't let on it is for your grann's wake or it will be "No Tray for You!"

Derk's Filet and Vine--As the government creeps into every aspect of our lives, it is about time they required some semblance of order in the way restaurants throw around words like "cantina," "deli," "grille," "cafe," "palace," "pub," "bistro," and "sushi bar." You may or not be glad to learn that the Obama Regime's Health Care Reform has established a new federal agency called the "Restaurant Naming Commission" or RNC to regulate such things for the sake of our health. Unfortunately, our favorite cafeteria style meat and three was discovered to be the only cafeteria in town without "Cafe" in the name. Under duress, Derk is changing the name of his place to Derk's Filet Cafe. It was that or being taxed out of existence. Incidentally, rumor has it that, if you are sick of the ubiquitous Chappy's Sandwich Tray (i.e. the Bad News Tray), Derk's offers a nice alternative at a slightly higher price. Here is what happened to one of their trays today in 10 minutes after someone announced via e-mail: "There is a leftover sandwich tray in conference room 1-E."

Before....

After. (Surprised the tongs survived)

I certainly hope no one was standing in the doorway as the hordes approached.

The AlleyBAR--Don't let this get out, but the owner of the AlleyBAR is seriously considering offering lunch in the near future. They already serve some food in the evening to the hordes of college types while they drink frozen shots in their fake fur coats at 2 a.m.. In fact, if he pulls the trigger on this caper, the Lunch in the Gump has been invited to review the new menu so you will be the first to know. It will be interesting to see if they can compete with the other places currently in the Alley (Sa-Zas and Dreamland) or whether it creates a synergy positive to all concerned. Nice restroom art but may be a little much for the Blue-Hairs from the gun show eating lunch.

Ala-Thai--Now has three locations in the Gump! Who would ever have thought that the little understated Thai place in a seedy old strip mall near the Coliseum and next to a pool hall and laundromat would expand to the "Towne Center" development on Ann Street and out in West Shorter on the Atlanta Highway. Very different from Lek's, the cuisine is lighter and very fresh but nevertheless fine for mild American taste buds. The Shadow Pup declared the meat authentic and no threat to pets, foreign or domestic.

Bama Bistro--Ran into Chef Coratio the other day and he told me the notice sign on the restaurant was about him trying to get a liquor license (on agenda at city council meeting April 20th). The plan to put chairs tables outside and have happy hour: Brisket and Bourbon for all!

With this I leave it to you, the reader, to sort the wheat from the chaff, the butter from the Promise, and the homemade from the mix. Rest assured we will not rest until all is revealed.