Green Papaya: Tojo Yamamoto Ends Hunger Strike

Tojo upset because Ndamukong Suh not win Heisman Trophy. Lunch in Gump fans know Tojo love Thai food. Tojo figure anyone with name “Ndamukong” must be Thai so Tojo root hard. But slippery little Ingram win trophy. Tojo know in heart SEC refs cheat on vote count, so Tojo protest. Tojo go on hunger strike.

Tojo e-mail Lunch in Gump about hunger strike so Gumpers not save seat for Tojo. Tojo starve until Ndamukong get rightful trophy. Then Catfish tell Tojo Mr. Suh from Africa and Mrs. Suh from Jamaica. Tojo google. Catfish right. Hunger strike all for nothing. Tojo ashamed and hungry enough to eat frozen dog.

Tojo confide shame to Lunch in Gump. Loyal friend Shadow Pup suggest Green Papaya on Coliseum Boulevard. Tojo ask Shadow Pup, why Green Papaya? Tojo never hear of Green Papaya. Shadow Pup say Green Papaya have excellent food from Thailand and Laos. Make Tojo forget all about African-Jamaican Cornhusker and stupid hunger strike. Tojo say okay.

Tojo google Thailand. Surprised to find out Yul Brynner not king anymore. Find out hoochie-coochie trade 10% of tourism revenue. Tojo think, hmmm.

Tojo google Laos. Find out original name Kingdom of Lan Xang, or Land of a Million Elephants. Tojo bet slippery little Ingram happy about this!

Anyway, Tojo call Shadow Pup to ask direction. Shadow Pup say Green Papaya on Coliseum Boulevard by giant flea market. Tojo find Green Papaya easy but wonder who need giant flea? Tojo digress.

Tojo know to watch out for spicy Lao-Thai va-va-voom hot pepper from Sup in Gump review so Tojo order Spicy Basil Chicken (mild). Because of stupid hunger strike Tojo also order extra spring rolls, Chicken Satay and Papaya Salad. BEST LUNCH IN GUMP FOR MONTHS! TOJO LIKE!

Other Gumpers order Pho Special Combo, Tom Kha, Pad Prik Keing, Nau Pad Na Mun Hoy, Amazing Lad Na, Pad Woon Sen, Tham Mak Houng, plus Goong and Yun-Wun-Sen appetizers. What these mean? Tojo Japanese, have no idea. Tojo guess these all Laotian words for “taste wonderful” or “make nose run.”

Green Papaya menu remind Tojo of Deer Hunter when guard grab Christopher Walken by hair and shout, “Yum Pla Muck! Nam Tok! Pad Kee Maow! MAOW!” Tojo hate that part.

Tojo off topic again.

Green Papaya great lunch place. Everybody get out for $10 to $15. Tojo’s bill $42.65 before tip because Tojo starving from stupid hunger strike.

Who is this Tojo? Bring him to me.