Scouting: Davis Cafe

Gumpers:

We gotta go rate this place! Kicks Martin's a** on chicken. 515 No. Decatur. Been around forever. True "soul food"--at least it says so behind the cash register. Me and parole officer ate for under $9 per w/tea!

I don't know what "Dept. o1" is but everything I got came from there!

Scouting: Mr. G's Ristorante

Since it is not open on Monday's and is dangerously near Bell Road it is doubtful that "Mr. G's Ristorante" would ever temp the secret LITG gang to violate parole and visit what may be the only Greek/Italian Restaurant in Alabama. Question: Are these really cuisines that go together? Is it like-maybe-Thai/Chinese or Indian/Moroccan or some other example of our mixed-up crazy world? Even the two national flags (used on the menu to help you know the difference between the Greek and the Italian dishes--as if you would have a hard time telling your "Greek" salad from your "Ceasar" salad) have none of the same colors--except white (which is actually the absence of color).



Actually, there are a lot of Greek/Italian restaurants all over the country. The countries themselves are sort of in the same area and both lie in the Mediterranean. They are both fairly old cultures and have something to do with Western Civilization. At least that is what one of my teachers was babbling on about when I wasn't paying close attention.

Looks like from this map Italy is stomping Greece with its heel. However, since we all know about the fighting prowess of the Italian army, most would view the map as Italy trying to kick Sicily out of the way while running away from Greece nipping at its heel, naturally, from behind.

You know the old story about the Greek and Italian who were arguing over who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics"
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

One point for the Romans.

Well, all I can say for sure is that Mr. G's introduced the combination of Greek/Italian cuisine to the Gump and it looks like the Greeks won.

One point for the Spartans.

Located in the old CiCi's Pizza on the Atlanta Highway, the place is attracting hungry crowds because the food is good and reasonably priced. See http://www.mrgsmontgomery.com/text.htm for the prices. The Greek Spanikopita made a tasty appetizer and the Greek salads are really authentic. The Gyro sandwich, (Pronounced YEE-roo or YEE-HAW!) $5.75 (23 Shares of CNB stock) was supposed to be wrapped in grilled pita bread
freshly sliced gyro meat (what is gyro meat in an Italian/Greek restaurant anyway? Goat + Donkey?), seasoned and topped with Tzatziki sauce, tomatoes and onions. Unfortunately, the real thing was was bland and suffering from meat deficiency. To top it off it was very messy. Whatever you do do NOT take it out of the aluminum foil wrapping or wear a tie! The bottle of Chianti on the table was a tempting source of solace for the ruined neckware but I digress.

One thing you can say for this place is that the owner was present and attentive to every table and the service was fine. I would bet that most of the Greek dishes are what attracts the crowds.

Bottom line, Mr. G's is a decent place for lunch and probably a better place for dinner. As a lover of Greek food it is empowering to have an openly Greek restaurant come out of the closet here in the Gump. I give it 3.5 glasses of Ouzo! Opa!

Gumpage on the Go--Hot Dog Guy

Sometimes, you can't always sit down with your fellow parolees to enjoy a solid meat and three. Time is short and you need Gumpage fast. Our new feature "Gumpage on the Go" reviews those locales where time is of the essence and silverware is optional--Eds.

Gumpage on the Go: HOT DOG GUY!

Location: Corner of Talapoosa and Commerce

Confession, I love hot dogs. They are cheap, delicious, and as American as hamburgers. My patriotism doesn't mean I discriminate--Polish and Italian sausage on a bun is okay by me. I love hot dogs so much, I asked for and received "The World's Greatest Hot Dog Maker" for Christmas two years ago. Yes, I WASTED A CHRISTMAS PRESENT ON A HOT DOG TOASTER!

Needless to say, expectations were high when I dropped in on the Hot Dog Guy at the corner of Talapoosa and Commerce streets for some Gumpage on the Go.

Menu is short and sweet, dogs (regular, brat, polish), chips, and drinks. A combo of all three runs you around $5.00. Was the service fast? This is Gumpage on the Go, son! I ordered a combo with chili and cheese (no extra charge), and had that processed meat goodness in my hand in less than a minute. Extra points to hot dog guy for having a (maybe) twelve year old to run around and grab my Lay's potato chips and Dr. Pepper.

Was the food good? Again, Gumpage on the Go is not about words like "quality" and "distinguishable meat and dairy products." The dog was bland. The Chili was canned. And the cheese was an orangy-yellow liquid. This was no Varsity chili cheese dog with a frosted orange:

Lucky Bastard...

By Lunch in the Gump's usual standards Hot Dog Guy would amount to one or two chili-dogs, tops. However, at Gumpage on the Go we're concerned more with speed and value than "taste." I went from Office (hungry) to hot dog guy to Office (not hungry) in less than fifteen minutes: 3.0 chili-dogs with a Dr. Pepper.

The Chop House Vintage Year

Took the fam to the Vintage Year to celebrate several birthdays. It was our first visit to the recently opened "Chop House Vintage Year" in Old Cloverdale. We had been regular customers of the Vintage Year over the years and were glad to see it re-opened and boy were we impressed. Toadpot the Foodie is very hard to please but she loved the ahi Tuna dish and the soup of the day. Tayteese Who Must Be Obeyed loved her steak but raved about the soup! Casey Ray ordered the last scallop entre and liked it. I tried the lamb with crab meat and was very impressed. The presentation (striped asparagus with three dots of gravy on each side of the meat) was above what you normally see in the Gump. Entree prices are what you would expect ($18-$27) but they include two sides. All in all a very enjoyable experience. Ran about $400 for six people (including $110 in adult beverages) with tip.

Service was deliberate but professional. This is not a place to come if you are not willing to engage in conversation with your group as the plan is for each party to spend about an hour over dinner and a glass of wine.

The new bar is expanded and was almost full on a Tuesday. Artwork is done by local artists and is really interesting. The formal dining area is now smaller and quieter. I would recommend reservations--especially on weekends or if you must sit in the bar area. [If you can guess the names of all the persons whose portraits appear on the wall of the bar--you are really up on current events]

My group is normally hard to please but they were unequivocally high on this place. Ben Skelly, the new chef, did a great job. We give it: 4 of 5 "Chops" for food, 3 0f five "Colonial Bank Shares" for price and 4 of 5 "Candles" for ambiance.

Capitol Grill - Counterpoint

[CLOSED]

Yeah, the food was average and so was everybody else in the restaurant. I didn't see a fatcat or a peacock in the whole joint. Most people there knew other folks there. The WSFA noon report was on, but nobody was paying any attention. Background music was a local radio station. Duct tape was holding a lot of the place together. Folks from all walks of life were there at the Capitol Grill, getting along. The waitresses did a great job. The price was right. For 45 minutes I patronized a family-owned business, did a little political schmoozing, heard some gross conversation, brainstormed an intriguing business idea and yes, I had some bland food. All-in-all a damn fine lunch I'd say.