Sometimes, you can't always sit down with your fellow parolees to enjoy a solid meat and three. Time is short and you need Gumpage fast. Our new feature "Gumpage on the Go" reviews those locales where time is of the essence and silverware is optional--Eds.
Gumpage on the Go: HOT DOG GUY!
Location: Corner of Talapoosa and Commerce
Confession, I love hot dogs. They are cheap, delicious, and as American as hamburgers. My patriotism doesn't mean I discriminate--Polish and Italian sausage on a bun is okay by me. I love hot dogs so much, I asked for and received "The World's Greatest Hot Dog Maker" for Christmas two years ago. Yes, I WASTED A CHRISTMAS PRESENT ON A HOT DOG TOASTER!
Needless to say, expectations were high when I dropped in on the Hot Dog Guy at the corner of Talapoosa and Commerce streets for some Gumpage on the Go.
Menu is short and sweet, dogs (regular, brat, polish), chips, and drinks. A combo of all three runs you around $5.00. Was the service fast? This is Gumpage on the Go, son! I ordered a combo with chili and cheese (no extra charge), and had that processed meat goodness in my hand in less than a minute. Extra points to hot dog guy for having a (maybe) twelve year old to run around and grab my Lay's potato chips and Dr. Pepper.
Was the food good? Again, Gumpage on the Go is not about words like "quality" and "distinguishable meat and dairy products." The dog was bland. The Chili was canned. And the cheese was an orangy-yellow liquid. This was no Varsity chili cheese dog with a frosted orange:
Lucky Bastard...
By Lunch in the Gump's usual standards Hot Dog Guy would amount to one or two chili-dogs, tops. However, at Gumpage on the Go we're concerned more with speed and value than "taste." I went from Office (hungry) to hot dog guy to Office (not hungry) in less than fifteen minutes: 3.0 chili-dogs with a Dr. Pepper.
Saw our Hot Dog Guy on a wife-swap television show. Creepy.
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