The Shadow Pup Muses About Katrina While At Lunde's [CENSORED]

[Editors Note: We apologize for the rant of Shadow Pup and have redacted portions of same per requests from the Montgomery Humane Shelter.]


Bob Dobbs Warning: If you believe that [Redacted] This was posted by the Shadow Pup. We are not responsible for liberal heart attacks caused from reading this....

You know I am famous for my lack of patience. And I do not suffer fools well. While waiting an extraordinarily long time for my chicken salad po'boy at Lunde's Monday I noted all the New Orleans artifacts which adorn the walls there and my mind wandered to all the "Fifth Anniversary of Katrina" media coverage that began this past Sunday and continues in our local paper: "The Mt. Gumpery Advertiser." For me, it was a bad combination of events that lead me to connect my annoyance with [Censored].

Do not get me wrong. I loved going to New Orleans before Katrina, have been back since and would love to go again. It is a unique place with some of the finest restaurants I have ever enjoyed. Lunch at Galatoires is the epitome of lunch anywhere. But let's be honest, [Redacted by Humane Shelter]

Whoops!

The truth is that cities in Mississippi (yes, unlike you Bama fans, I can spell it) [Redacted by Humane Shelter] I didn't think so.

 And, excuse me, but [Redacted by ASCPA]

There is a silver lining to the clouds of Katrina: We in the Gump have Lunde's as a consequence of Katrina. I know some of you think we are shills for Lunde's because you cannot get Etoufee (I'm a dog and cannot spell) like you want it. I say: I told you to order the blackened pork loin you bozo! I am not responsible for other items on the menu....arrrf!

[Redacted by Humane Shelter]

Yours in lunching, Shadow Pup.

Oh, by the way, the chicken salad po' boy turned out okay.

Microgump: Eating Cornbread at Martin's Restaurant

The LITE Menu (I'm not kidding)

Being new to the group I wondered why LITG had not yet rated the place consistently rated No. 1 in The Montgomery Advertiser's "Peoples' Choice" award for: (1) Fried Chicken; (2) "Southern Cooking" and (3) Iced tea. After all, the place has benches outside because it usually is pretty crowed with...I must say it...some of the fatest people on earth (especially if you go early to beat the crowd). If you ever recoiled at the damage Waffle House has done to American waistlines, just sit alone at Martins around 11:30 a.m. and watch the parade of obesity squeeze through the front doors for their fried chicken fix. Please do not eat there alone because, if you do, your mind eventually wanders into people watching mode which, at Martins, invariably leads to the sin of smug, condescending judgments about the size of the clientele (at least if you are only mildly overweight after a Thanksgiving of splurging). Many had a former professional wrestler gut like Tojo Yamamoto (I've only seen him once from distance and he was still large from a distance).  My mental victims, on the other hand, are probably thinking: "Why is that goofy guy wearing an ankle bracelet?" To which I say to myself: "NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX FATTY! And stop looking at my buttered muffins!"

One muffin missing. Two in mortal danger.

One thing I can say unequivocably about Martin's: They have some of the best cornbread I have eaten and they bring it to you like other restaurants bring your bread and water glass: quick. And it is right out of the pan, hot and ready to be swathered in fake butter from the ample supply of tins on the table. Three, count-em, three muffins per customer, one for each of the jelly rolls lopping over your belt. As a true cornbread lover, I must say the meal goes downhill after you gobble up your Martin's cornbread and drink the excellent iced tea (unsweetened of course because you are watching your girlish figure as you down the third muffin before the meal arrives).

As sort of a poor joke on the obese, there is a LITE menu which features only one huge fried chicken breast along with two sides and three cornbread muffins with unlimited margerine. Obviously, I chose the LITE meal because it sounded better for me. Here, I have to say, the Davis Cafe & Lounge kicks Martin's butt all over the plate. Unlike the succulence of the Davis Cafe bird, the Martin's fowl was a little dry and had almost no seasoning. I also noted more bones than normal chickens are supposed to have. Perhaps my skills at dismembering the breast with a fork are to blame, but I was constantly chomping on bones--which is rarely fun with regard to eating yardbird. If this were a competition, the score would be Martins 1, Davis 1 after the entre.

Since the prices (about $8.50) are comparable, the tiebreaker would have to be dessert. Here, Martin's has a decided edge. Their fried pies are delicious and homemade and guaranteed to blow any diet, real or imagined.

The winner by a muffin top: Martin's Restaurant, 1796 Carter Hill Road. They are open 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. M-F and for Sunday Brunch. They serve dinner and things other than chicken (like chicken livers). They have a high local rating because....its an icon!! It has been around since 1940 and the service is quick and friendly. I would give it a 3.5 of 5 hot corn muffins soaked in real butter.