Shadow Pup... Free to Good Home, or Put to Sleep?

bamabing@lunchinthegump.com
Email me to save this dog.

Well, I took a much-needed vacation and it looks like somebody forgot to give Shadow Pup his distemper shot while I was gone. Apparently our once-lovable four-footed foodie, whose well-tuned sniffer saved us from many a dining disaster, suddenly went off-message and became a snarling, bile-spewing right-wing elitist social commentator of the junkyard dog variety.

In his August 31 blog post (see below, if you dare), our little canine connoisseur went to finger-pointing about the tragic events surrounding Hurricane Katrina. Shadow Pup pointing fingers? He doesn't even have thumbs.

We decided on an intervention. First thing we did was rub his nose in his Katrina post and say "bad dog" in our sternest voices, which only prompted the Pup to roll over on his back and say, "Will one of you idiots quit screwing around and rub my belly?" So then I wore his ass out with Tuesday's Montgomery Advertiser, but since that's been cut down to eight pages (not counting foreclosure notices), that didn't have much effect, either. The Pup just chuckled, called me a liberal pansy and bit me. Then he told Tojo to "go back to Japan" and called Fat Clemenza a "cannoli-eating goombah." 

So we've decided to give him away. If nobody will take him, well, then we'll just have to euthanize the little fellow. Clemenza says he'll do the honors.

Maybe some fledgling hate group out there needs a watchdog, or a mascot. Maybe Glenn Beck can get Shadow Pup to help him sniff out the president's birth certificate. Or maybe Satan needs a new fire-breathing, slobbering guardian at the gates of hell.

Please, don't make us kill this dog. Somebody take him off our hands so we can get back to cracking wise about food. 

The Shadow Pup Muses About Katrina While At Lunde's [CENSORED]

[Editors Note: We apologize for the rant of Shadow Pup and have redacted portions of same per requests from the Montgomery Humane Shelter.]


Bob Dobbs Warning: If you believe that [Redacted] This was posted by the Shadow Pup. We are not responsible for liberal heart attacks caused from reading this....

You know I am famous for my lack of patience. And I do not suffer fools well. While waiting an extraordinarily long time for my chicken salad po'boy at Lunde's Monday I noted all the New Orleans artifacts which adorn the walls there and my mind wandered to all the "Fifth Anniversary of Katrina" media coverage that began this past Sunday and continues in our local paper: "The Mt. Gumpery Advertiser." For me, it was a bad combination of events that lead me to connect my annoyance with [Censored].

Do not get me wrong. I loved going to New Orleans before Katrina, have been back since and would love to go again. It is a unique place with some of the finest restaurants I have ever enjoyed. Lunch at Galatoires is the epitome of lunch anywhere. But let's be honest, [Redacted by Humane Shelter]

Whoops!

The truth is that cities in Mississippi (yes, unlike you Bama fans, I can spell it) [Redacted by Humane Shelter] I didn't think so.

 And, excuse me, but [Redacted by ASCPA]

There is a silver lining to the clouds of Katrina: We in the Gump have Lunde's as a consequence of Katrina. I know some of you think we are shills for Lunde's because you cannot get Etoufee (I'm a dog and cannot spell) like you want it. I say: I told you to order the blackened pork loin you bozo! I am not responsible for other items on the menu....arrrf!

[Redacted by Humane Shelter]

Yours in lunching, Shadow Pup.

Oh, by the way, the chicken salad po' boy turned out okay.