Eat Mor Chikin? The Roast Beast at Martin's Restaurant




If they had room, the chickens would be rolling around in their cages....


Inspired by those brave young Gump Guinea Pigs, I decided to eat outside the box during one of my frequent visits to local fried chicken and cornbread icon: Martin's Restaurant. Every now and then a little change of pace spices up one's mundane day to day grind. Today, being Valentine's Day, I invited my sweetie Myrtle to lunch on her favorite fried chicken and cornbread at Martins in honor of our seven non-consecutive years of living together. In fact, Martins is about the only incentive that will get old Mert out of the trailer park and away from her DVR collection of "The Biggest Loser" episodes (and her vodka and milk).

After seven years with the same person some things get a little old. Same is true of even our favorite restaurants and, darn it, even very good fried chicken. So today while Myrtle ordered her usual white meat with three sides one being fried green tomatoes (only available every other day), I took a walk on the wild side with an order of the Roast Beast. When I ordered Myrtle looked up from her menu with a curious expression that turned to one of affection. "Wow," she purred, "You thinking of doing something different is exciting." I knew that look and said: "Would you like a bite of my roast beast?" She replied in a husky whisper: "You might get a bite later if you're lucky...."

Fish on!

When the meal came (with extra cornbread of course), I was not disappointed. The roast beast was fork-cutting tender and not so much to eat that I had to loosen my belt at the table. I noted that Myrtle's Spanx were visably undulating as she chowed down on the cornbread but of course I said nothing so as not to destroy the "try something new" Karma. Indeed, Myrtle loved the little nip of beef (a few more bites) and started murmuring something about she making it worth my while back at the castle on wheels tonight. She had completely forgotten that I had not given her any card or roses this Valentines Day. And not one word about getting hitched after all these years of living in sin. (After all, she needs to go ahead and get that divorce first). I sealed the deal with a double order of 'nanner pudding which she gobbled until her Spanx almost blew.

So, to hell with all these commercial devices designed to shame us menfolk into spending money on things completely impractical. Who needs diamonds, chocolates, flowers and cards? I say the way to a woman's heart is through her pie hole. To prove it I can only say that Mert and I left Martin's hand in hand with a warm glow in our bellies, lust in our hearts and feeling much better about ourselves and our relationship than when we walked in. After today I think there may be a case for considering cornbread an aphrodisiac, especially when warm and lathered with whipped butter from the Land-O-Lakes.

Heck, after tonight I may even pay the filing fee for her divorce.

I just hope I can stay awake while she watches "The Biggest Loser".

Bra-cha-cha!

The Cheese at the End of the Rainbow

A small reconnaissance squad and myself unwittingly journeyed outside the bypass on that warm Saturday where the rain let up and the temperature got bearable. My force, usually more disciplined than their lemming cousins, was undoubtedly led out of the gump proper by the presence of an elusive DOUBLE RAINBOW!

This guy knows what's up

We followed the rainbow to its shocking source: the Tipping Point at Hampstead. And what might you ask was at the end of the rainbow????? Pimento Cheese and flatbread!

Ahh yes, cheese, the great motivator for rats, mice, and guinea pigs alike. But this cheese wasn't at the end of some researcher's maze, it was at nice outdoor bar/dining/sitting area with those cool garage door thingies you normally see at trendy bars out in Texas. The weather was perfect for soaking up the sun (we guinea pigs rarely go outside the lab), chatting with the squadmates, and blowing off some serious guinea pig steam (eating chicken vandaloo at India Palace is more stressful than you think). .After enjoying all the cheese I could eat (and an oat soda or two that had spilled on the floor) and witnessing the polite service from folks who may have hung out with double rainbow guy, we returned to the inner gump: happy, cheese- filled, and stress free. Was the pimento cheese a lure to trap the GGP crew outside of its comfort zone? Maybe so, but it was the most relaxing trap this pig has ever been caught in!

I have submitted my report to the LITG higher ups. It recommends a full service attack to try the cheese (the post-up was immaculate), the fancy hot dogs, and an oat soda...dude.

Squeak-Stay Hungry

The Birds

Since the discussion and discourse of this blog has been expanded to include "sounds in the gump" I suppose it could be appropriate to add conversation to include "bird watching in the gump".

It seems that from time to time flocks of Columba Livia will find themselves migrating through this territory (including some that are indigenous) and lite in an unfamiliar (and sometimes familiar) bird bath. To the demise of these unwitting fowl they do not fully understand the pool from which they drink and just who filled that watering hole leaving them prey to sharks that walk amongst us, or as what Parrot Heads refer to as "Sharks That Can Swim On The Land".

Two such migrations have been witnessed in recent days. The first was a rather large grouping of these aviates who's baggage was obviously overweight. The flock was led to the bird bath not by wolves in sheep's clothing, but by afore mentioned sharks dressed in chicken suits (expensive chicken suits none the less). Again, unwittingly they drank from the bath and subsequently had their luggage significantly lightened. This defeathering was to such extent that the banker shark was concerned with an ensuing feeding frenzy that would consume his own.

It should be noted that these birds do have long memories, frequent this flight path and have tendencies to attack en mass. They can be merciless and do have a taste for shark.

The home field advantage for the sharks though does lie with the filler of the bird bath, and that's all I have to say about that.

This bird watching at the bird bath is a popular sport in The Gump and is quite competitive, although the sport is wrought with flops, frequent turns and as all readers of this blog know, a river does run through The Gump.

The second of these recent migrations was by a lone flier who seemed to be familiar with the bird bath but hesitant to lite. Once overcoming the hesitation he lit and the watching began. The bird sipped and sipped seemingly unaware of the sharks, but they were there. Taking notice of the sharks, the bird chirped loudly scaring one of the larger sharks away. This was to no avail, in that all the bird could do was look at the other shark's eyes. They were black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When they came at him, he didn't think he was living until they bit, and then the shark's eyes roll over white, all the screamin' and hollerin' ... well you get the picture.

I am certain that this bird watching at the bird bath will continue to be a popular sport in The Gump. As I understand, it goes on year round. Sometimes there are casual watchings and sometimes strict watchings with absolutely:

NO WABBIT HUNTING.

- She Pulls Out Onto Main Street In Her New Mercedes Benz ... The Road Goes On Forever, And The Party Never Ends.

Michael's Table Serves Feast to Promote Capri Film Society

This past Monday--when Michael's Table is normally closed--Chef Michael Hochhalter hosted friends and benefactors of the Capri Film Society for a wine tasting and dinner which raised thousands for the effort to pay off the mortgage on the Capri Theatre Building. Yours truly, CNA, Esq., was privileged to have been invited to attend and donate to the cause.  Chef Hochhalter and his staff served without compensation a meal fit for finicky film critic wannabes in order to support our favorite neighborhood independent theatre.  The wine tasting including a Malbec, a Beaujolais and a very reasonably priced ($12 bottle) Vouvray.  The cheese-board included my favorite Irish white cheddar which paired quite nicely with the chenin blanc in the Vouvray.

Photo taken before I lost my wits.

The dinner was served European style with the salad served after the entree and before the desert.  The entree was a stuffed pork loin with spinach.  Not only was it cooked to perfection, it was served to a full restaurant properly and in unison.  A difficult task for many places on their best nights.

The conversation was also interesting.  What's your favorite movie? Should the Capri show Blazing Saddles and what drink should be featured: Sarsaparilla?  Who's going to the Gate Band show at the Capri?  How much whiskey should we have available? A lorry load? Dubbing vs. subtitles?  Etc.

A fine time was had by all at one of our best local dinner spots (recently awarded four forks by a newspaper with fewer reporters than LITG). We would rate it higher.  Bottom line was that The Capri Film Society knocked a chunk out of the amount needed to pay off the current mortgage so it can stop paying confiscatory interest payments and start putting that money into improvements in the facility.

If you are inclined to help and/or join the Capri Society, go to their web site by clicking on this link and consider contributing to the "Building Fund."

Cheers!

The Soup at Sa-Za's Pizza

Wedding soup shown with garlic bread.

As an elite and expendable member of the recently formed Gump Guinea Pigs, I have had my eye for some time on the lunch time activities of one local individual whom I shall identify only as "Finicky Real Estate Lawyer." I have noticed that over time this Finicky Real Estate Lawyer walks to lunch most days in what has developed into a habit involving where he will eat lunch. Since he is a fastidious dresser and well-respected bon vivant, I thought today would be a good day to tail him to see what he has found within walking distance of The Alley downtown.

I am aware of the fact that members of this blog have had spats with the staff at Sa-Za's about triple parking in loading zones--especially on Sunday. They know who they are. But I cannot deny that Finicky Real Estate Attorney quickly ducked into the Alley Station--cut a glance into the new Deli in the Alley (undergoing a pre-opening run-through)--and then dashed briskly into Sa-Za's Pizza, rushed past the "greeter" and bee-lined for the Captain's table which separates the kitchen from the dining area.

Due to my size, I was not noticed scampering along behind. But from my observation point, I noticed that almost no words were spoken to the staff. They recognized the Finicky Lawyer. Immediately winks and nods were passed like some form of code and the meal was on.

What had this anal retentive attorney and counselor ordered at a restaurant known for pizza, pasta and other home-cooked "serious" Italian fare?

The suspense was causing me to gnaw at a table leg.

Then, within about five minutes, the chef handling the table placed a black bowl with a big spoon before him along with a piece of garlic bread which, naturally, he had ordered with the garlic removed.

Climbing inconspicuously up one of the natural wooded beams which give the place a modern warehouse ambiance, I was able to snap the photo you see above. Then I climbed down from my perch, twitched my nose and began to scour the menu for a clue on what it was that had been served.

Nothing matched. In fact, there were no soups at all listed on the lunch menu. Yet, clearly, this was a soup he was ladling into his prim and proper face. A closer look and I saw spinach, Parmesan cheese strands and sliced meatballs floating in a creamy white broth.

Why, I thought, that is Italian Wedding Soup! By Cooper, Sa-Za's is serving a soup that is not on the menu! Apparently, you have to wink, nod or ask for it by name.

After he finished I was astonished by what I saw next. Our Finicky Lawyer finished the entire bowl with no complaints, placed seven dollars ($7) on the counter and left. My investigation revealed that the cost of the soup with bread is $5.50. Wow, I thought, that is pretty reasonable. And he was in an out in about 20 minutes. Speedy service.

Before the staff could clear away the bowl I had a little taste from the remnants. Wow again. This is really good. Very very good.

As I write this back at GGP HQ, I still have a warm glow in my belly and a desire to have more of that fine soup. My report is now in and the quarantine period has passed. I can officially declare the Italian Wedding Soup safe for LITG members and their fans.

Enjoy.

Your friend.

Squeak.