Lunch in the Gump: LITG Invades Chris' Hot Dogs

Does this ankle bracelet make me look fat?

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  Today Lunch in the Gump assaulted Chris' Hot Dogs on historic Dexter Avenue (138 to be exact). The Gumpers had to deal with some digestive issues afterward, so the reviews are late. But no matter. We knew the risks when we planned this, and we went anyway.

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  Tojo Yamamoto was a surprise visitor. Tojo is camera-shy but volunteered to take the rare photo of the LITG Secret Committee shown above. Newly inducted first-timer Mimi Furst was a no-show, but was kind enough to send remembrances of Chris' trips past. Guess she had to go get her nails done or something. She was expelled. Women.

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  Here are some excerpts from the reviews of Chris', Montgomery's 92-year-old grande dame of tradition and indigestion:

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  Binion "Don't let the elegant decor fool you. The food is very tasty but really bad for you. Twice a week is pushing it."
  

  

  Elegant decor
  

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  Reginald McLucid "Full gastrointestinal function restored by 12:48 PM. A new record."

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  Two! Not a double or special.
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  Bodiddly "Is the double special or is a special a double?" See menu.
• Shadow Pup "I went into rigor puptis just smelling the wonderful aroma of the place."
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  Rigor Puptis

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  Catfish "I've never liked Chris' but I enjoyed the company."

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  Mimi Furst, on the eatability of the Chris' burger vs. the Chris' dog "While the fully-loaded dog requires you to unhinge your jaw like a python, the burger can be aptly managed by even the most TMJ-challenged individual."

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  The entire kitchen

  Tojo Yamamoto "So when most excellent waitress ask Tojo what Tojo want on hot dog, Tojo say 'Make Tojo One With Everything. HA!"

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  Most excellent waitress "Like I don't hear that 'make me one with everything' shit from every Zen Master walks through this place the last 40 years."

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  Doyle "What's up with the free onion rings and refills? Somebody must've tipped Theo off we were coming."

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  He That Has No Secret Code Name a/k/a (Hey Bast*rd!) "I never had any stomach problems all day. Go get you some of THAT!"

An observation... the last governor of Alabama pictured on the wall is George Wallace. And it is not a photo from his last term, either.

Judge Wallace

True Crime magazines and half-pints of Mad Dog? Get 'em here.

Final observation... Chris' Hot Dogs is a classic. Lunch in the Gump bestows its highest-ever rating... 5 Rolaids®.

No pain, no gain.

Minigumpage: Lunde’s Downtown Restaurant: Cajun-Urbun-Southun

Lunde's Downtown Restaurant boasts of a location in the "Historic Bell Building." Old Montgumphrians can at the slightest prodding rattle off the names of some of the "historic" downtown buildings that have graced the capitol city skyline over the years. There are the Frank Leu Building, the Exchange Hotel, the First Alabama Bank (Regions) building and, more on point, the Bell Building. Unfortunately, what passes these days for "historic" is a little thin. The coolest thing about the Frank Leu Building was when they blew it slap up. At least the Exchange Hotel was a brothel frequented by some of Alabama's most notorious politicians and it was fun to watch it torn down so the infamous floor where the sinning was done was exposed to the righteous throngs below. It is true that the First Alabama Bank building was, at one time of its completion at the turn of the century, one of the two tallest buildings in Alabama. (Birmingham may have even been a smaller town than the Gump at the time but today has a mayor who has some problems).
The other tallest building in Alabama was at one time the Bell Building at 12 towering floors but is that all that made it "historic?" Was the Bell Building where the orders were given to fire upon Fort Sumter or the location where the flawed Alabama Constitution of 1901 was debated? No, it was not built until 1907 and unfortunately, N.J. Bell, a local businessman and entrepreneur did not even live to see the completion of "his big dream" (according to the sign near the elevators). In other words, the only thing truly historic about the Bell Building was that 100 years ago it was considered a really big building: Big Whoop.
The Bell Building has certainly not been a home to fine cuisine in the recent past. If anything, it has been a historically bad place to eat. Actually, before walking over to Lunde's I shuddered to think of all the poorly prepared excuses for food that had been dished-out within the first floor of the Bell Building since 1910. Remember that god-awful lunch counter? Or the first attempt by Boomer-T to actually cook what was loosely referred to as "Bar-B-Que there?" Those bad memories followed me through the door at Lunde's and--thankfully--quickly evaporated.
Even those of you who watch Letterman and "E!" may recall a hurricane named Katrina a while back and the horrors that it wrought upon the City of New Orleans and the Gulf. However, there was some good to come from it. The chaos caused a few New Orleanians with talent in the cooking arts to migrate north to the Gump. One such refugee was the wife of Chef Loren F. Lunde, who is stated to be a graduate of the C.I.A. As such, New Orleans' loss was Montgomery's gain. But in the interest of full disclosure, I must say that on their Facebook page, it is stated that Chef Lunde has called the Gump home for 35 years so my assumption may be wrong. We bloggers never let the truth interfere with a turn of a phrase.

In any event, I know that from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday to Friday in a corner of the first floor of the "Historic Bell Building" at 201 Montgomery Street, you can lunch in the gump with Chef Lunde among the trappings of the Big Easy. Etouffee, jambalaya and Po' Boys of all varieties await your beck and call. For me, however, it would start with that old reliable: red beans and rice with a sausage I cannot spell or pronounce. It sure was a tasty sausage nevertheless.
I guess one way you know you are getting authentic red beans and rice is when it is served with no hot sauces on the table (or in plain sight) because none are really needed. (I wonder if Chef Lunde would throw things if he knew you asked the waitress for some "Texas Pete") While $7.99 is a little pricey for a dish you can get at good places in New Orleans for much less, the flavor took me back to those wonderful pre-Katrina visits to NOLA and the sights, smells and tastes of good Cajun food and banjaxed drunks wearing beads and silly masks. It really did not need anything added for my taste and I like it spicy!

Those who favor the traditional "Meat and Three" will not be disappointed either. For $7.59 you can choose, depending on the day of the week, between old favorites like fried chicken, meat loaf and country fried steak. If you occasionally drive to work without your seatbelt on and like "edgier" fare, you can choose pork loin or Tilapia in shrimp sauce (or should I say "scrimp"). The usual vegetable suspects are available including the ubiquitous and questionable vegetable: "Mac & Cheese". The portions delivered around me appeared ample. If price is an issue you can always seek a discount. If you want a 10% discount all you need to do is join the military. It that is a tad inconvenient you can also e-mail Lundes4lunch@gmail.com and join their "Email Lunch Bunch."

From what I saw the place had some regulars and everyone was chatting it up in sated comfort. A friend who grew up in "N'owlins" eats there often and rates the Cajun food authentic and "good" (not great I note). According to him, the Chef is actually a Scandinavian and can also whip up some of the finest Dutch apple pie "en del toto de Gumpo".


The décor is a little fru-fru (not that there is anything wrong with that) but the place is spic and span clean and the waiters are very attentive.




After a Lunch in the Gump at Lunde's you can always amble across the street and tour the Rosa Parks Museum for a taste of some real history. All in all Lunde's can supply a Cajun-Southern-Urban experience to which I would rate at four Jambalayas out of Etouffee.

As always at your service,

Your Shadowy Pup, Lh.D.

Lunch in the Gump: Taqueria El Cantaro Grill

Literal translation: “Large Jug Taco Shop Grill.” I guess.
Las enchiladas verdes, burritos, tamales, tacos, frijoles refritos y el arroz eran muy, muy buenos. El salsa era muy fresco y hecho con cilantro. Dios mío, era magnífico! Mejor restaurante mexicano en todo el Gump. Mejor que México Tipico y Ixtapa.

Las camareras eran muy cortas, pero agradable y eficiente. En medio de la comida una chica bonita de latina entró y se sentó junto a nosotros. Muy fácil en los ojos, déjenme decirles. Bagre gustaba mucho. El babeaba todo su camisa. Ai, ai, ai.

La policía vino a la tienda del peón al lado. No sabemos lo que pasó. Nosotros no escuchamos los disparos.

Cuatro horas más tarde, no la indigestión.

¿Dónde? La dirección es 1130 Calle del Ann, al lado de I-85.

¿Cuánto? El precio era muy barato. Pagué con mi tarjeta de débito, no hay problema.

Minigumpage: Flames Grille Cafe:' "The Original Taste of the Past"

[CLOSED]

Distraught over the wildfires in California forcing those in the Hollywood Hills to abandon their art collections, I wandered the sidewalks of the Gump today until I looked up and saw a sign that said: "FLAMES Grille Cafe." The karma was too great to overlook so I went with the flow and tentatively peeked inside.

I entered and delved into the questions: "What is 'The Original Taste of the Past'?" and--oh my!-- "What is that funky smell?" I mean, those little pine trees hanging from the rear view mirrors of some cars do not smell as strong as what hit my olfactory glands upon entrance into the Flames Grille Cafe. It certainly was an original odor from the past: The odor reminded me of one of the "smells" the Madison Car Wash years ago wanted to squirt into my clunker for an extra $1.50 and, believe me, it wasn't the "new car" selection. I do not remember the name of the fragrance I received (Some smells are too complex to be given a name) but it must have been something like: "Shag Carpet Pine" or "Apricot Brandy Sloe Gin". Man, you only make that $1.50 mistake one time and when the Flames fragrance hit me it was deja vu for me all over again. At least it was no extra charge.

My thoughts then turned to the Zen of the concept: "Original Taste of the Past." It's really a circular thought--maybe even eliptical--like trying to comprehend infinity. Expecting the menu to provide a glimpse into the owners concept of past tastes available in Montgomery or perhaps in all of human history, I was a little disappointed when the menu showed only hamburgers, chicken sandwiches and tenders, turkey melts, and that old time Montgomery original: The Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich. (You may laugh, but actually the eastern part of downtown was founded as New Philadelphia aka "Yankee Town" by the enigma Andrew Dexter

around 1818). Actually, I don't know how far in the past Flames LLC meant their original taste to run, but everything on the menu seemed pretty contemporary to me unless you consider cheese cake to somehow be a desert from the past.

Other than the fact that the owner was proudly wearing an Auburn baseball hat (karma to the third power), I was prepared to diss the place until my "New Orleans Grilled Chicken Sandwich" arrived with the Jalapenos on the side. It only cost $4.55 and was fresh, spicy and good. The real fries were also hot and covered some red powder that proved tasty. The folks are real nice and you can get in and out pretty fast. I also really appreciated the fact that no one was impolitely staring at my ankle bracelet. Perhaps they understood I was framed. I would have to say I would consider sneaking off work-release to go back there IF they could get rid of the powerful and flowery background smell and tune the TV to anyone other than Andrea Mitchell.

Flames Grille/Cafe is located at 142 Montgomery Street next to and/or across from these blasts from the past: The Elite and Alex Rice. Eat in or take out. And due to the smell, I would recommend you consider doing the latter.

I would rate the place 2.5 squirts of cheese whiz out of 5 Philly Cheese Steaks.

Yours in fine dining,

B.

P.S. All this blogging has finally revealed to me the value of RSS feeds which allow you to automatically retrieve content of your favorite website or blog (such as LITG) without having to go through the usual ways of getting there. Here is how to set up an RSS feed according to one of Bill Gates' minions:To subscribe to a feed, follow these steps:

Go to the webpage that has the feed to which you want to subscribe i.e LITG

Click the Feeds button to discover feeds on the webpage. If the site also has Web Slices, you'll see the Web Slice button instead.

Click a feed (if more than one is available). If only one feed is available, you will go directly to that page.

Click Subscribe to this feed.

Type a name for the feed and select the folder to create the feed in.

Click Subscribe.

Don't we all want to subscribe to be fed? Yes we do. I think I can hear a faint: "Thank you Binion!"

You're welcome.

[Sign on the door August 2011, closed for re-tooling]

The Tao of Lunch in the Gump

A few quotable quotes from all of the Lunch in the Gump reviewers...

On the lingering aroma of Hamburger King:
“Here's the thing about the smell. I’ve washed my hands twice and I can still smell it. It permeates my office. I think I could boil my tie right now and make Hamburger King Soup, and that it would be good soup.”

On the seafood gumbo at Montgomery Brewing Company:
“I didn't find a shrimp in there, but then again I didn't look real hard for one.”

On the waitress at the Wagon Wheel:
“She had me at ‘How ‘bout I bring y'all a basket of cornbread and rolls to work on 'til the rest of your friends get here?’"

On the lack of VIP treatment at the Wagon Wheel:
“The owner apparently was not told of our presence or he surely would have greeted us, advised us of the appropriate menu items to order and then comped the meal.”

On the overpriced gruel at the Renaissance:
“I almost called "dine & dash" on that one.”

On the ambience of Sundown East:
“If you like the infield at Talladega, you should fit right in.”

On the waitress at Sundown East:
“You wouldn't take her home to your mama... but then again she probably wouldn't take you home to hers.”

On the “vegetable plate” at Derk’s Filet & Vine:
“By the time my plate is piled with mac & cheese and fried okra, the theory behind the vegetable plate is shot.”

On Dreamland:
“I am glad it is open on Mondays and is close to my work-release location.”

Punch line of Auburn joke told by Corsino’s waiter:
“Officer, I’m just trying to help this goat get over this fence!”

On the Italian sub at Scott Street Grocery & Deli:
“The resulting prize was approximately the size of a nerf football.”
Also: “It weighed in at a whopping 24 ounces (I actually weighed it).”

On the service at Bandana’s:
“The server was friendly and sufficiently attentive (but not in a creepy-please-stop-invading-my-personal-space way).”

From a less-than-glowing review of Peyton’s Place:
“I’ve already forgotten how to get there.”

On why it is hard to eat a Deluxe Cheeseburger from Hamburger King:
“The structure can’t support its own weight. It is a gastronomic wonder, but an engineering catastrophe. And it's slippery.”