Bama Bistro - Who are we to criticize the new business model?

Bama Bistro lunch crowd at 12:00 noon Tuesday

[Ed Note: We regret to inform you that it appears that our little hole in the wall is now a void between two walls i.e. closed]

As loyal LITG readers already know, Bama Bistro (15 Commerce St.) has made some changes to its business model. In these trying economic times, many business people are tweaking their modi operandi to hang on until we get through this rough patch, or until the banks own everything, whichever comes first.

Anyway, last week we learned that Bama Bistro is no longer open on Mondays, so we went around the corner to Lunde's (no, that doesn't rhyme). Lunch in the Gump, being a Monday thing, doesn't get to review many of the "closed on Monday" joints, like the Capitol Oyster Bar or the Montgomery Chicken Salad Club, but we wanted to give Bama Bistro a shot at redemption. So this week Fat Clemenza, Shadow Pup, Tojo Yamamoto, Chase N. Allpots and I, Bama Bing, broke protocol and went to lunch on Tuesday.

Anyway, when we got there at noon (see above) we deduced that Bama Bistro had decided to close on Mondays and Tuesdays, and that the last to leave had just forgotten to lock the door and turn off the "open" sign. We didn't see a soul in there. Luckily, however, before we started looting the place, a very nice young lady appeared for the greet & seat.  She took our drink orders and we settled in for a quick lunch, happy to have beaten the crowd.

12:10... no drinks yet. Or customers.

Clemenza surmised that maybe the new business model was geared toward "private dining." Well, good thing it was private because Tojo, as usual, didn't have on shirt or shoes, and Allpots didn't put his napkin in his lap (the horror). Worst of all, Shadow Pup (he of no opposable thumbs and limited conversational skills) got bored waiting for his water and started licking his balls.

Happily, though, things started happening at 12:11. Tea and water were served. Orders were taken. Salads began to appear, then chicken tetrazini, basil pesto chicken, chicken marsala, and chicken something-or-other. You would think we were all a bunch of vegetarians. The food was tasty, inexpensive and plentiful, although not terribly photogenic, as shown below:

What LITG is all about: Good food -- cheap and plenty of it.

As we finished our excellent lunches we found ourselves in a moral dilemma -- do we give Bama Bistro a good review on Lunch in the Gump, and thereby run the risk of derailing their new "private dining" business strategy? Or do we keep quiet about this scruffy, quirky little hole-in-the-wall? One would think that a positive review here would bring crowds, followed by word-of-mouth buzz and millions in profits, but who are we to say?  Maybe they are doing it this way for tax reasons.

Side notes: We are happy to report that Bama Bistro provides a solid beer selection (see left), including the usual domestic brands and favorite imports like Heineken (Holland), Corona (Mexico), and Germ-X (Germany). These are proudly served in plastic go-cups so you can take a cold one back to the office and continue your deposition with gusto. You only go around once.

Lastly, you will be glad to learn that Bama Bistro is serious about cleanliness, and for the discerning diner this establishment provides hand sanitizer on every table. In fact, on our table there was no salt & pepper, but there was hand sanitizer.

Imagine our shock, however, when we noticed Tojo applying tangerine-scented hand sanitizer to the remains of his Bama Bistro lunch. 

Tojo like.

Bama Bistro may not make it, but hell, neither did any of the banks or investment firms who used to have palatial offices on this part of Commerce Street. We recommend you check it out. For just $6.99 plus tax (the price of a darn good Bama Bistro lunch w/ H2O), you can help save this locally-owned joint.

 

Vegetarianism, Vegans and Trojans at Lunde’s

Vegans build their pyramids on water. They are not good swimmers. 

Unbeknownst to us, effective July 5, the Bama Bistro decided to close on Mondays. So when the LITG gang (Tojo Yamamoto, Big Easy Slim, Show Dog, Chase N. Allpots, Bama Bing, Cornbread Carp, Shadow Pup, BB MAK and Fat Clemenza) showed up at Bama Bistro hungry but locked out, the consensus was to shift the meeting to nearby Lunde’s (pronounced “Loond’s” because it is owned by Norwegian Cajuns) in the Bell Building. Once again, Bama Bistro forced us into a very fine corner table at trusty Lunde’s where one of the best lunches in the Gump can be had for two bucks under the Tojo line.

It is somewhat old news that everything at Lunde’s is good and reasonably priced. The red beans and rice, shrimp etouffe, chicken salad po’boy and blackened pork loins were devoured by the group with a slice of freshly baked “lemonade cake” for dessert. Me-oh, my-oh. However, today the real treat was catching up with the news and banter of the diverse LITG crew, which started something like this:

BB MAK: Wow, look across the street at the two MPD Segway scooters parked on the sidewalk in front of Flames Grille. Has Flames started giving away doughnuts?

Show Dog: Maybe Flames serves Krispy Kreme doughnuts now.

Tojo: Good doughnut never too crispy. Good doughnut yield to bite like Superfly Jimmy Snuka yield to Stomach Claw.

Allpots: Can vegetarians eat doughnuts? I was in Asheville at the Biltmore House this weekend and upon leaving Sunday went downtown and breakfasted at the “Happy Greens” on Wall Street. Everything had a “V” by it except the omelets and mine came with a biscuit and some type of fake non-meat sausage I cannot name. But I was wondering if vegetarians can eat things like doughnuts.

Bama Bing: I ate at a very fine vegetarian restaurant in San Francisco one time. The food was real good but I would bet you there was some bacon fat involved in the process somewhere. I like any recipe that starts with “melt 1 ½ sticks of butter.” [At which time Karen Lunde presented Cornbread Carp and Fat Clemenza with two warm pats of Land-o-Lakes for their delicious cornbread].

BB MAK: Vegans can’t eat any animal byproducts but some vegetarians can eat eggs, cheese and butter.

Tojo: Tojo vegetarian. Tojo not eat meat—just pork.

Shadow Pup: Pork is the other white meat.

Tojo: What is first white meat?

Shadow Pup: Chicken. You must have taken too many blows to the head.

Tojo: Tojo vegetarian—just eat pork and chicken.

Bama Bing: Yeah and I’m a male Lesbian….. [Awkward pause].

Shadow Pup: Not that there is anything wrong with that….

Show Dog: I’ve never understood the various types of vegetarian labels. There are strict vegetarians and then there are some that eat fish and, err… pork and chicken. What are they called?

Fat Clemenza: Episcopalian vegetarians. By the way, I’ve never understood why vegetarian restaurants serve dishes that mimic meat dishes.

Bama Bing: Yeah. If their food tastes so damn good why do they have to pretend like it’s my food… tofu “burgers,” mushroom “sausage”…. eecch. Next time I see a vegetarian I’m going to hog-tie him and force-feed his hippie ass some Conecuh sausage. That’ll cure him.

Cornbread Carp: I just wish that one time when I go to eat at the home of a vegetarian they will return the favor of me serving them a dish served without touching meat by serving me a meat dish served on a plate that never touched bean sprouts. That’ll never happen.

Shadow Pup: Have you ever noticed that strict vegetarians have an odor about them. What’s up with that?

Show Dog: There was a guy I knew growing up in Troy that thought male vegetarians were either communists or carnivores trying to lay girl vegetarians and then eating Big Macs on the way home.

Bama Bing: I knew that guy. His name was Robert [censored]. He was a character. At the local restaurant he loudly announced his plans to marry his fourth wife. His buddy told him: Robert, you know that girl has slept with everybody in Troy? The whole restaurant got quiet and
Robert said: “I know. But Troy ain’t no big place.”

Show Dog: Robert quit school in the 3rd grade—sort of like Tojo—and liked to boast he was told he would never be anything but a ditch digger and that he was, in fact, a ditch digger….but one who dug them with several D350 Caterpillars worth $300,000 each.”

Bama Bing: He is the same guy who learned to fly his own Bonanza and landed illegally behind a 757 at Hartsfield because he had to pee.

Show Dog: Yeah, they were putting the handcuffs on him as he relieved himself at the end of the runway. Thankfully it was before 911 or they would have shot him down.

Chase N. Allpots: What a classy fellow. You know they call themselves the “Trojans” for the same reason. [Awkward pause]

Bama Bing: They call all the teams Trojans down there because Troy is so safe and secure.

Show Dog: Real snug.

Bama Bing: There used to be a condom factory in Troy, but they only made “Ramses” and “Sheik.” They call that irony.

Allpots: "Stay classy Troy."

BB MAK: Anyone want to split a piece of the “Lemonade Cake?”

Tojo: Can vegetarian like Tojo eat cake?

Fat Clemenza: You think they got cannoli?

Cornbread Carp (to Show Dog): You gonna finish your cornbread?

[And the banter resumed….]

Now you see why we enjoy our LITG meetings. They bring out the best (or worst) in lunchtime conversation. At LITG, like this blog, you will always learn something….you did not know. Enjoy!