ROUX HOUX!! NEAUX-CLEAUX HAS A GREAT NEW CHATEAUX DE GUMBEAUX!!!!!

[Ed Note: 01/18/2012: Roux is now True and True is even better than Roux]

First, let's get one thing straight. Well, a few things straight. (1) I like to catch fish by the boatload. (2) I like to shoot multiple species of ducks. (3) I like classic cocktails, expertly built, with loving care, by professionals. (4) I like to gamble in proper casinos, not amongst pensioners playing nickel machines in "bingo" joints. (5) I like great music played by sweaty-ass musicians in smoky-ass bars who care more about how they sound than how they look. (6) When I say, "Hey, how about a look at those ta-tas," I like having better than a 50-50 chance of actually getting to see 'em.  (7) I like carefree natives who have nice boats, talk funny and who are full of shit. (8) I like having an active Powerball lotto ticket in my billfold at all times (it comforts me).  And (9) I like great food cooked in the creole/cajun style.

By my count, that's 9 out of my top 10* favorite things and I can only think of one place in the whole world where you can score "9" on the Bidgood Bob Pleasure Meter over a three-day weekend without having to cross any state lines or break any laws... and that squishy little slice of heaven is called THE GREAT STATE OF LOUISIANA. 

Next to Pine Bar on Cloverdale Rd...
make a night of it.

Now, unfortunately, the economy being what it is I can't just drop what I'm doing and haul ass to the Bayou State every time I get the urge for something that tastes good, sounds funny or ends in an "X." That's why I'm delighted to report that the Gump Guinea Pigs survived, the full review is complete and the verdict is in. Make a reservation, get your ass to Roux and wallow in it, baby.

First things first: They don't call me "Bidgood Bob the Gumbo Snob" just because I went to a couple of Sugar Bowls when I was in college. I am a student and protege of Chef John Folse and LITG's own Whig in a Blanket, who has taught me the art of the roux and the science of great gumbo for over two decades. When I tell you that Roux owner/chef David Dickensauge knows gumbo, this is not idle praise and I'm not kissing his ass just to get a free bowl (although I wouldn't dare want to hurt David's feelings by refusing one). Fresh lump crabmeat, claws, shrimp, oysters... done just right and about the color of a grocery sack. Keep your hands off the hot sauce... it don't need nothin' else on it nor in it.

Here's the deal... every time I've been to Roux I had the gumbo and I truly can't remember if they put any rice in there or not. I was drinking all three times. Be that as it may, they certainly didn't use a big wad of rice to make the gumbo go farther or to pad the profit margins. As I remember, with that much seafood there wasn't much room for starch.

Oh, one more thing about the Roux gumbo -- there's no okra in it, which is fine by me because I never liked the slimy little bastards anyway.

We are pretty sure Roux is rapidly getting through the early-stage jitters service-wise, but there are sure to be horror stories from any new restaurant's baby steps. My favorite from Roux's opening week came from a pal who ordered a Mojito which arrived from the bar "dirty," with four olives and some olive juice instead of lime juice and fresh mint leaves.  Well, not wanting to be an ass about the whole thing he drank it anyway, kinda liked it, ordered another (made it a double, extra dirty), drank that one, then ran next door to the Pine Bar and mashed his bare butt cheeks up against the window, to the delight of the sophisticated clientele there.

Anyway, back to the "restaurant review." Last Friday night Roux was jam-packed when Reginald McLucid, Doc NBA and I took our sport-model precious adorables out for drinks & dinner & more drinks (in that order). Even though we were a tad late and roaming around like a herd of kittens after pre-gaming at the aforesaid Pine Bar, the Roux staff still hit it out of the park. They let us meander, kept our drinks full and all-in-all managed very well on a hectic night.

Cool salad on a hot night.

The food? Oh, yes. Almost forgot about that, even though we did go there primarily to eat. In addition to the aforementioned gumbo, among other things we had Devils on Horseback, Alabama Watermelon Salad (see right), fried oysters, crab claws, and that was just the appetizers. For dinner we had Seared Romesco Scallops (with macquechoux, a favorite of mine), Roux BBQ Shrimp (see below), something called "Chicken Mar I Muntanya" and some other stuff I can't remember. They have a prime rib that they cook on the rib, then slice, then rub with a top secret concoction, then sear. Damn. We all shared and nobody bitched about the food, service, portion size or price (like I said, though, we were hitting the booze pretty hard and were mostly agreeable).

Roux BBQ Shrimp. Lobsters, more like it.

Note on the Roux BBQ Shrimp (shown at left). This dish is nothing like the very excellent BBQ Shrimp served at Jubilee Seafood, one of our all-time Gump favorites. The Roux BBQ Shrimp is more like the classic New Orleans dish (nothing even remotely "barbecued" about it) made famous at Pascal's Manale, with massive fresh shrimp and this sauce that's, well, let me tell you about the sauce... I wanted to tell the waiter, "Looka here, you need to bring me about five loaves of french bread and get all of these people out of here, because I am about to take off my shirt and sop up every drop of this sauce that's in the room right now." I wanted to, but I didn't.

Then there was the "shrimp." I really can't believe the lucky shrimper didn't have those big boys mounted. They must have put up one hell of a fight. If I ever landed a shrimp that size you can bet your ass he'd be over my mantel. Hard to believe they were so tender.

Excellent coffee and beignets topped it all off. We left happy and eased back to the Pine Bar for nightcaps. There we joined in the cosmopolitan atmosphere of sidewalk dining, drinking and conviviality on a starlit summer night among the beautiful people, not a one of whom was aware of our status as fairly recent parolees.

Overall a very nice night in this here Gump.



* My other favorite you can do pretty much anywhere there's a golf course.