LITG political endorsements? Why not!

Lunch in the Gump Endorses

Kathy Brown for Circuit Judge*

ALL RISE.

We have never led our loyal fans astray, not once. We have turned our readers on to some solid meat & 3 joints, introduced rhythmless diners to great soul food and warned you away from death by salmonella (which we hear is a bad way to go). We have taught you the proper way to handle the Widowmaker at Hamburger King, recommended a great hair salon and stared down a dozen state troopers while scarfing down illegal gambling chicken. So when we tell you how to vote, you know you can TRUST US.

As you are aware, the Secret Committee of Lunch in the Gump consists of a cornbread-obsessed whiner, a Japanese rassler, a mutt dog and a show dog, a Sicilian mob boss, a dead-broke former aristocrat who is still a snob, a mad dentist and a bunch of shyster lawyers, among others. In short, pillars of the community.

This is our very first political endorsement, so we didn't want to screw it up. We thought about endorsing Tim James for Governor, but Tojo wanted to write the endorsement in Japanese. Artur Davis came close but Allpots says the guy is missing an "H" and vetoed that one. Show Dog and Shadow Pup wanted to know who PETA was endorsing. The Cornbread Carp wanted to know which candidate is for real butter. Our caucus devolved into a chaotic screaming contest more messed-up than a pile of coathangers.

It was me, Bama Bing, who came up with the novel idea that LITG simply pick the best-qualified candidate on the whole ballot. Hell, it got easy then. Tojo Yamamoto, the big fellow with the wonderful economy of words, came up with an idea. "Kathy Brown, good lawyer, smart lady, experienced, know law, put family first. Tojo nominate Kathy." It was a unanimous vote of the Secret Committee. Even all the lawyers were in agreement, for the first time in the history of earth.

Here are some testimonials:

Kathy Brown is better than the Dago Salad at Corsino's - Fat Clemenza

Once, while yachting off the coast of my beloved Ireland with a number of my prep school chums and more than a few... shall we say... prominent debutantes, I saw Kathy Brown on the shore cleaning oil from the bottom of a baby puffin. I'll never forget that image. - Chase N. Allpots

You want toughness in a judge. But mental toughness, not toughness like the fried oysters at Wintzell's - Whig in a Blanket

Kathy Brown once scratched me behind my ears, right where I like it. Caused me to curl up and involuntary scratch myself. I like that girl. I wish I was a democrat - Shadow Pup

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Here is a picture of Kathy's opponent, the most frequently overturned judge on the Montgomery Family Court:

Here is her cat. It has been overturned too.

But seriously though --

On Tuesday, June 1, go to your polling place and vote for our good friend Kathy Brown for Circuit Judge, Montgomery Family Court. After you vote, go get you some lunch.

* Kathy Brown did not approve of this endorsement, but we endorsed her anyway. In fact, she begged us to come out against her.