If Baumhower's Priced Food "Fairly" Like Uncle Sam Sets Tax Rates....

They serve a lot more than wings....

One of the last things you should do before an afternoon meeting is eat a "mountain of hot fries topped with melted Monterrey Jack, Cheddar cheese and bacon" as an appetizer before downing a foot-long Louisiana "Debris" (roast beast) po' boy with "Wet Fries" covered in mushroom beef gravy. That is, at least if you want to stay alert. Unfortunately, today at lunch The Younger forced me to lunch at Baumhower's in the RSA Tower where the LITG has previously visited and about which the LITG had previously approved.  So there I was, $8.95 cents later, stuffed to the gills with decent food served quickly and sitting at my desk nodding as a food coma came over me.  It is strange what you dream about during the half-nap grogginess following lunchtime gluttony. For me, today, it was taxes and my nap-dream went something like this:

I had just mailed my estimated taxes and read that 45 percent of taxpayers pay no income tax whereas the top five percent pay something like 45 percent of the taxes.  The associate press article in the Montgomery Agonizer, of course, emphasized that the top 500 taxpayers "only" pay 17 percent of their income when the top tax rate is 35% (without, of course, giving the reader the dollars paid).  So as I dozed off, I began to consider what would happen to the prices for lunch at Baumhowers if they had to allow half of the patrons to eat for free based upon their income and the prices were, in part, set by customers who did not have to pay for lunch.  Sort of like how legislators set the amount of tax money they take from some taxpayers to give to others.

It wasn't pretty.  The Po'Boy would really make you poor if you actually had to pay $15 for yours because half of the customers were getting theirs free.  Actually, the price would more than double because all the "free" eaters would jam the place so thick that those actually paying would have to pay $100 for each one they purchased and, you guessed it, it would discourage the payors from buying the things in the first place. Sort of like it happens in Atlas Shrugged (which, by the way is a pretty boring movie although I liked the book).  Anyway, there I was being asked to shell out a small fortune for a stupid sandwich while two overweight women with young children chowed down on the same po'boys for "free" and buying extra fries so they could increase their girth faster.  It didn't seem fair to me, even though I used to be taxed at the highest rate because I was "rich" (as defined by the IRS).  Seems like it is a bad idea to allow people to vote on spending money and raising taxes that do not have to pay the taxes which pay for the things the money is spent on. I decided we would pass a law that said you get one vote for every dollar you pay in income taxes.  Yeah, that would do it. If the rich really do not pay their fair share of taxes, the middle class will take over.  But the truth is that the "rich" pay far more in total taxes than the middle class which caused me to toss and jerk awake in my chair burping po-boy and mumbling something about what I could have purchased with the estimated taxes I mailed off today.


I know. There are no violins playing nor tears welling in the eyes of the masses reading this taxation self-pity. After all, I was able to afford a fine lunch at Baumhower's and have only myself to blame for overeating. But to those of you who actually pay no income taxes (or get refunds bigger than the taxes you pay) please spare me the lecture on my "duty" to pay a bigger share of the tax burden or my "selfishness" in not wanting taxes to go higher still.  I mean, how would you like to share your po' boy with the guy at the next table if he can get one for free?  My family fled Ireland because of the confiscatory tax policy that existed back then. I just hope it doesn't come to that here. I hope Atlas does not shrug.

Errrrrp! Pardon me.....

And by the way, I can't help but comment on the publicly-financed Bronner Palace at the RSA where Baumhower's is located.  The opulence is impressive.  It would be hard for any private commercial developer to match the work that can be paid for with funds meant for an unsustainable pension program for statey's.  There, now I've pissed everyone off.  Happy Tax Day!!

Baumhowers is in there somewhere....