Derk's Wins 2010 LBCS Championship 6-2 over Shashy's!



Urban cool at Shashy's in the calm before the traditional Bagel Walk...



Coach Derk Lyerly leading his team under the W.C. Fields Arch into the dining room at Derk's.

 

Whoa Nellie!  It was a real flan burner, a battle etoufee, a bread heat, a Rumble in the Gumple! Yes, it was Lunch in the Gump -- back-to-back at the two finest lunch spots in Montgomery (according to our thousands of readers), reviewed by the sharpest wits and food critics in el todo del Gumpo (that's "in all the Gump" for you all at El Cantaro).

Every aspiring chef from the time they create their first edible Easy Bake Oven recipe dreams of the day they can display their talents on the world's biggest stage for lunch reviews in Montgomery, Alabama: The Lunch in the Gump Bowl Championship Series (LBCS) Finals!!

All the years of work, the pain, the health inspections, the adversity, meeting payrolls and then, finally, it all comes together and you have your shot at lunch immortality and you stand there, with the confetti flying about you, holding the coveted pure aluminum LBCS Championship Trophy. It just doesn't get better than this, unless you are one of those shallow motards who think your university winning all their American armoured wankerball games (as Allpots calls them) is an accomplishment, and you don't count.

It was quite a lineup served up by the Derk's Ducks in the first half: baked chickens the size of footballs, sirloin kabobs skewered with Conecuh sausage, fried chicken the size of Tojo's head, all adorned with some of the finest fresh vegetables anywhere in the area and a variety of fresh cornbread muffins.

Seated among cases of expensive vino destined for the homes of fatcats who can't tell Opus One from horse pee, the Gump critics, for the most part, sampled from each other's plates to insure fairness in the judging (it must be noted, however, that Tojo Yamamoto only shares with Shadow Pup).

At halftime, it appeared the quick and fast Ducks were going to pull all the meat away from the bone.



This duck had a bad day....

 But the War Bagels of Shashy's had no quit or grits in them. Normally nondescript in their approach with no visible signs from Mulberry Street except the tradition-filled "EATS" and "Bakery" sign on their stadium, in the second half they took the table with French Dip, Shrimp Etoufee, Chicken and Tabouli Salads, Artichoke Casserole at defensive end, a Fried Pork Chop and a Greek Grouper pulling up the rear. When pulled out of the pile the Greek Grouper yelled its popular war cry: "OPA!" and the battle was on.

Shashy's took risks, big risks. A tabouli salad is made with wheat bulger that to serve correctly has to be allowed time to swell after the olive oil is applied. One false move and the whole thing swells in the tummy causing that "I'm about to pop" feeling all true lunch fans fear. But team Shashy pulled it off, even though they forgot the chopped onions to confuse the referees.

Norm attacks the Tabuli before it goes into the spread offense

 while the FPC looks on...helpless.

With all the options and misdirection, the Lunch in the Gump gang caused local confusion but were "outed" by other fans anyway. One noted sports columnist, Mickey Griffin, thought we were the "The Lunch in the Bunch Gump" or "The Lunch of the Punch drunk." Never mind, we kept our ears pinned back and a necks bowed as we devoured the tasty fare. We put aside such distractions and kept our eyes on the bowl.

PBR in reserve.

When it was all over and the dust had settled, the final scores were posted by the LITG epicureans:

Snooty Old Chase N. Allpots: Shashy's for the bland but respectable etoufee, snappy table service, the decor and the ample parking;

Innocent Until Proven Guilty Cornbread Carp: Derk's for the combination of a blue collar cafeteria and snooty bottleshoppe atmosphere, humongous portions, no cell phones in line, PBR in the cooler and Pomerol by the case;

Politically Incorrect Shadow Pup: Shashy's for the smell of freshly baked breads served with every entree and they don't take food stamps to keep out the riff-raff;

Massive Tojo Yamamoto: Derk's, because Tojo leave full, rub belly, burp, taste excellent cabbage again, need nap.

Man-about-town Bidgood Bob: Derk's, because of the self-serve drink bar where you can get half sweet/half unsweet so that your tea is like Baby Bear's porridge -- just right.

Person of Interest The Younger: Derk's because you can't argue against a face-sized boneless chicken breast.

Wry wino BB MAK: Derk's! Because the food is hot, fresh, quick and filling. Something just about every other restaurant aspires to serve but usually falls short. Plus, I found out about some secret parking spots. Double plus: I like being surrounded by fine wine while I eat. It makes me feel sophisticated--even if I cannot actually pronounce "sophisticaed" after consuming several glasses of said wine.

Made Man Fat Clemenza: Tough, as it should be. While the ambiance and overall dining experience edge would have to go to Shashy's, if asked where I would take someone from out of town the immediate response would be Derks! Therefore, Fat Clemenza delegation casts all of its votes for the next LITG series champion: Derk's Filet and Vine!

And there you have it fans, the final score is Derk's 6 and Shashy's 2. The winner of the 2010 Lunch Bowl Championship is now and forever: Derk's Filet and Vine!!!!

In closing, we at LITG hope you have enjoyed the 2010 lunch season and our little blog.  We wish all of you the happiest holiday season.  Stay safe! 

Until next year: Stay Hungry Our Friends!

WIB