Dreamland revisited: The mystique of Bob’s Salad

Alhough the LITG faithful might wish to poo-poo our lunch location selection today since we went to a chain restaurant (gasp!), the TRUE faithful will know (1) that a review of Dreamland has been posted on this blog previously (http://lunchinthegump.blogspot.com/2009/07/dreamland-bar-b-que.html) and (2) that we don’t really give a damn what you think about our lunchtime choices (I would include a parenthetical hyperlink to support this statement but there are too many too include, so take your pick).

But this was no aimless lunchtime gathering; we were on a mission. Fat Clemenza, Shadow Pup, and I had heard rumor of an off-menu item called “Bob’s Salad” and decided to investigate. There is a shroud of mystery around Bob’s Salad, but we knew at least enough to know that (1) other people had ordered it more than 24 hours prior and had not died; (2) the salad has chicken on it -- the pulled variety (I had to assure Shadow Pup that the chickens were humanely “put down” before any "pulling" commences); and (3) the salad can be ordered “hot” – with jalapenos – or “mild” – without jalapenos.

We coolly entered the establishment and took our seats near the back. As always, the place was hopping and the ribs were smoking. We scoffed when the menus were brought to us. As if! Mustering up the confidence of someone who orders exactly what she pleases, on the menu or not, I told the waitress that I would be ordering a Bob’s Salad. With bated breath, I waited. Did I need to have a password to successfully complete my order? Was she going to ask to see my Bob’s Club membership card? Would she start quizzing me about this mysterious “Bob” fellow (whose last name may or may not be “Salad”) to see if I really knew who he was and whether I was really entitled to eat his salad? (By the way, if “eating one’s salad” is some sort of vulgar metaphor, my inclusion of it here is completely unattended.)

But nothing happened. Well, I mean, something happened. I mean, the waitress wrote down my order and moved on to Shadow Pup. What I'm saying is, nothing unusual happened. There were no requests for secret passwords, handshakes, or ID cards. Bob did not appear and denounce having any relationship with me, at least not one that would rise to the level where I could eat his salad. (Gosh, that’s really starting to sound bad, isn’t it? My sincerest apologies to Bob…and his family.) We moved right along, and the waitress simply turned to Shadow Pup and asked what he would be having in his bowl. He barked twice. Since he is a regular at Dreamland, she was able to interpret his dog-speak and figure out that he wanted the “hot” version of the salad. Fat Clemenza got on the bandwagon and ordered a hot one too.

After several minutes of conversation, we had ourselves a table full of salad:

Kickin’ it healthy style at Dreamland!

So, it turns out that Bob’s Salad is basically just a healthy version of the pulled chicken salad. We got lettuce, grilled tomatoes, pickles, jalapenos (optional), pulled chicken, and – my favorite touch – pineapple. The only dressing was a bit of olive oil. There may have been more ingredients but I can’t recall them right now.

We dove into our bowls. Shadow Pup was particularly ferocious whilst eating. Either he was especially hungry, or he was happy that he was (for once) not the only one eating his food out of a bowl. We ate…and ate…and ate. There was a lot of food in that bowl! I finally gave up. The thing about having a salad as the sum and total of one’s meal is that, well, it just gets boring after a while. You can’t move around your plate, taking bites of different items as you go. There’s no variety for the palate. Sure, your forkfuls can vary as to chicken/lettuce/veg/fruit ratio, but, all in all, there’s not much difference in what you get. So, some perhaps satisfied more than others, we finished our meals:

Shadow Pup likes to pretend he knows how to use a fork sometimes.

Bob only charges $8.95 to eat his salad (seriously, I hope this man doesn’t have kids who are reading this), so we managed to stay under the Tojo line. Normally I don’t care too much for salad but this one is worth a try. It is a unique meal with some interesting flavors, and it’s certainly more healthy than most anything else on Dreamland’s menu (if you’re into that sort of thing). I must say, though, the mystique of ordering an off-menu item is part of the allure. All in all, I give it 3 out of 5 ribs.